Antebellum
by fuzzibunniez
Summary: After years in a coma, Ichigo wakes up to many changes. The biggest one that Byakuya is her friend. Rated M Byakuya FemIchi
1. Chapter 1

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**For BelletigerBt; I really hope you like it hun =D HUGS! **_

_Antebellum is Latin for; Belonging to the period before a war_

_**Antebellum **_

_**Chapter 1; Waking up in the Manor.**_

"_Someone used her as a pin cushion..."_

"_The head wound... it's a bigger problem..."_

"Ehhh, I'm not a problem." Ichigo's eyes open, the voices vanishing with a loud ringing sound in her ears. "Rukia?" she whispers leaning up in her bed a looking around the large empty room. "Am I in the Kuchiki manor?" But her eyes burn and drip with water forcing her to rub them with her fingertips. Once she can focus she rises from the small futon sleepily dragging her body toward the door. Lifting a hand to open the dark blue partition she stumbles and almost falls when the door opens. "Rukia?" Arms circle her waist, and before she can say another word, her toes leave the floor. "U-Um?" Looking up she is shocked to see dark blue eyes piercing into hers. "B-Byakuya!"

"Hello, Ichigo." His reply is low and calm, the shock on her face only slightly amusing as he carries her back to the futon. The moment she woke he could feel the vibrant wave of her reiatsu bringing a light feeling in his chest. "I expect Captain Unohana will arrive shortly. She will have many things to discuss with you."

"O-Ok?" she responds nervously as she is returned to bed. Since when does Byakuya call her Ichigo?But it seems like he has before... It's the weirdest thing. The last thing she remembers is...

"_I will show you true despair..."_

"Ulquiorra!" Scrambling from the bed she grabs Byakuya's arm, as the pain begins hammering at her head. "Inoue! Ishida! Where-?" Her head feels like it's splitting open, touching a hand to her head she suddenly realizes her hair is touching the floor. "M-My hair is long?"

"Please return to bed." he whispers placing a hand on her wrist. "Everything will be explained by Unohana-san." Slanting his eyes to her face he can see her pupils turning golden just for a brief moment then back to the warm amber he remembers. His throat goes dry at the sight of those pupils. Ichigo must not get upset, she needs to be eased back into things at a slow pace. But he is sympathic to her, the confusion is understandable. "You were in an accident."

"Fighting Ulquiorra? How did I get here?"

"Ulquiorra Cifer, the espada?" he shakes his head pointing a finger back to the frumpled bed. "Return to bed. And I will tell you what I know."

"Alright?" she says sticking her lower lip out. Since when does Byakuya care about her health? Plopping back down on the futon she folds her arms in front of her chest with a frown. Then she notices the shiny diamond ring on her finger. "Am I married?"

"_Just say you will marry me and I'll be... so very happy." _

"Not to you..." Ichigo stares at the diamond trying to remember the man who's voice echoes in her head. "It's..." It's impossible she can't make out a face, just shoes. Black boots. "not you."

"No." Byakuya is getting annoyed... very bothered by her constant questions and the pouty look on her face. "You were attacked. I brought you here to recover." The picture is starting to form in his mind. Ichigo can't remember... she can't remember anything before the Winter War of Aizen's uprising. "You were in a coma."

"I'm getting this really strange feeling. Like when you dream you go to school naked..."

"It must be from the head wound you received." Turning toward the door he is relieved to see Rukia and Unohana appearing in the doorway. He doesn't want to be the one to tell her. There isn't a cell in his body that wants to see the expression she will make. "I will leave it too you, imouto."

"Thank you, Nii-sama." Rukia says peeking in the door and looking at Ichigo's dazed look. "H-Hello Ichigo."

"Hey Rukia! Think you can get your brother to let me outta bed? I'm his prisoner!" Ichigo chuckles at the glance from the dark-haired noble.

"There seems to be some memory damage." Byakuya adds before drifting down the hallway and escaping her presence. That is typical Ichigo, she just hides all the real hurt coating it with jokes. _"Must you wear the mask even now?" _

"Why do you look so upset? I'm fine!" Ichigo stands up and pats Rukia on the back. "I just need to know a couple of things." she says lifting her hand up and showing the diamond. "Like... why can't I remember getting this?"

"Ichigo... a lot has happened since you have been asleep." Rukia takes a step back to allow Unohana-san to explain.

"Kurosaki-san..." Retsu lowers a hand to Ichigo's head and begins a healing kidou. "You have been in a coma for ten years."

"Ha..h-" she stops laughing and starts to think, really think about Byakuya's behavior and then the ring, and then her hair, and then... "I think I need to go..."

"You can not leave Soul Society yet." Unohana says giving Ichigo a smile.

"No... I-I have this bad feeling." The panic in her throat rises and she begins to sweat. Something is missing... gone, it's gone... it's just fucking GONE. "I need to see my family!"

"Kurosaki-san." Unohana puts a firm hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "The emptiness you feel is your reiatsu. Right now you are weak. Returning to the human world is impossible, for the moment."

"For the moment?" she stops and suddenly feels calmer. For the moment means it's not impossible and to Ichigo these are welcomed words.

~/~

Walking into his study Byakuya sits at his the large desk and lifts his pen to continue writing but the words don't come. Instead the memories that Ichigo has lost echo in his aching mind.

_**Flashback;**_

He is preparing for bed when he finds out. The black hell butterfly flutters into his room and circles his head waiting for his long finger to perch on. Pausing to listen, Byakuya Kuchiki's eyes grow wide in shock. Everyone is gathering, of course they would, this is Ichigo Kurosaki we are talking about. Re-tying his belt he grabs his haori and darts out the door. By the time he arrives it's already over, the captains are clearing out.

Rukia is there holding Ichigo's limp hand and shaking her head. No one can understand how this happened. Even through the pouring rain he is stunned at the amount of blood left in her wake as they carry her away.

"It looks like someone used her as a pin cushion." Renji says earning a strong smack from Rukia. "I don't get how anyone could sneak up on Ichigo."

"I'll have to call her boyfriend."

"Abarai is correct. The only way to harm Ichigo would be to deliberately hide your presence." Byakuya adds turning toward his sister and cringing inside at the tears on her face. "Why would anyone want to harm Ichigo?"

Since the Winter War and regaining her powers she has mastered the shinigami abilities. All of them except kidou, and to be honest no one is interested in teaching her. With her vast reiatsu it would likely rip apart an entire division just to train her in the basics. Dismissing the mental image, Byakuya returns to the manor only to be summoned again, this time by Rukia and Captain Unohana-san...

"Nii-sama! It's Ichigo! It's Ichigo..."

"Imouto, I will go."

_**End of Flashback;**_

"_Ichigo... ten years is a lot to miss... and another three years is a lot to forget." _For some reason he feels like finally grieving her loss. That after ten years of waiting for her eyes to open only to find out the three years after the war are missing is devastatingly horrible to Byakuya. If only he had been there, it would never have happened to her and he would still have had her around. But it was a simple mission to Rukongai and back. It never occurred to Byakuya that Ichigo would be hurt.

It never occurred to anyone...

Back in the guest room Ichigo is feeling tired. She is grateful that Rukia and Unohana have left and she can process everything they told her. Sliding open the outer door she tugs the thin blue yukata closer around her chest and sits on the porch. Exhaling a puff of air she watches her steamy breath fade in the cold night sky. Same sky, and moon, stars too. But then a gust of cold wind whips her long hair around the ends stinging at her face. "What am I gonna do with all this hair?" she says not expecting an answer.

"You should consider keeping it long." Byakuya says wrapping a blanket around her shoulders. Another gust of wind blusters the long orange locks and Byakuya lifts his hand up capturing a few strands through his fingers. "It's lovely."

"Oh, thanks." Ichigo tries not to startle at his attention, but it is so weird. Pulling the blanket closer around her neck she watches him sit down next to her. "Ok, why are you so nice to me? It's kinda freaking me out."

"Would you like me to leave?"

"N-No! I'm sorry!" Waving her hands in front of her face she looks back at the dark sky sprinkled with stars and sighs, "I guess... I'm used to..." Clearing her throat she tries to sound like him. "Kurosaki Ichigo... you are a brat. Leave my house at once before I cleave you in twain."

"I never threatened to cleave you in half."

"Haha! I know but really... Why do you suddenly seem... nice."

"My behavior isn't sudden. A lot happened after the war." he says unwilling to go into any details. After all this Ichigo isn't prepared to hear the truth. However he glances at her face and the very pronounced smirk and decides to burst her bubble a bit. "You and I became..." Byakuya says leaning toward her and tugging the blanket back over her shoulders. "friends."

"My god... how did that happen?" Ichigo blinks in shock watching his lips turn up into a smile. "Y-You are smiling... I didn't know you _could_ smile! " She feigns dodging lightening from the sky. "It's a miracle or... a sign of impending doom."

"Nothing that extreme. It took a while." Shutting his eyes, the sounds and images, the deep patterns of orange swirl into one woman on a hill.

_**Flashback;**_

And he is there... running up that hill towards her swaying hair and the long black blade sticking in the ground. The relief that she lives streaks through his heart as his foot touches down on the ground next to her and the body.

"What have you done?"

"I killed him."

"I was his next target?" Standing over the man, Byakuya barely recognizes his face after the transformation.

"He told me he wouldn't stop until he destroyed everything you cared about." Pulling her sword from the ground, she starts to walk away only to feel a hand on her shoulder. "Don't tell me you are surprised I would protect you too? I protect _**all **_my friends."

"Since when are we friends Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"Oh. You are right." Holding out her blood covered hand she gives him a smile. "How about it, _Captain_ Kuchiki? Friends?"

Kuchiki frowns at her tone until he looks in her eyesand sees the hint of water. It must have made Kurosaki sad to kill _him_, yet she did out of loyalty to the Gotei... to the Kuchiki clan and most of all to Byakuya. His hand moves on it's own, sliding inside hers, blood sinking into his fingerless gloves.

_**End of Flashback;**_

"Captain Unohana told me I might be able to get my memories back."

Clearing his thoughts he looks at the fragile woman sitting on his porch. "She did?" he says masking the hope in his voice. Is it unforgivable if he misses her? After what she has lost...

Thinking about himself has never been a sin before. But is it her heart that will be broken? Or his? Even though it's been so long, he can't help but want to have her back. Even at the price of the pain she will experience. Even if... Ichigo knows what happened while she slept.

But all those thoughts are pressed to the back of his mind. Instead he is thinking about how to protect her. The person who attacked her was never found, and Ichigo isn't the type to hide in his mansion and wait for Byakuya to find this attacker. _"I will protect you, Ichigo."_

* * *

><p><strong><em> I know this is different, but it's a very specific request. Give it a chance ok? A lot of mysteries in this one^^ I will answer them. I really hope... I don't get the comment Byakuya is Out of Character! I think I am explaining why he is different but still himself. I love you all and please be kind Fuzzi<em>**


	2. One Word

_**Quick note about my avatar! If you like it the link on my profile will lead you to the artist! She is taking commissions so consider her okies? HUGS!**_

_**Antebellum**_

"_**To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."**_

_**Chapter 2; One Word**_

Bare feet move along a corridor, above is a roof connecting the square buildings of the vast Kuchiki manor. The boards do not even creak as the white wrapped shape moves silently into the the next building. A wall of bamboo stems extend the length of the space stopping near the center where two swinging doors join. "Anyone in here?" Ichigo whispers clutching the fabric of her yukata close around her neck. Glancing around at the lavish shower area, her teeth begin to rattle. There is nothing familiar... Byakuya told Ichigo to make use of the bathhouse and once he dismissed himself for the night the first thing she wanted to do was have a bath.

Across the room is another door leading to who knows where. Looking to her right she finds a small vanity of sorts with large hand carved wooden sakura blossoms surrounding an oval shaped mirror. The pink blossoms are a welcome sight. The color alone seems to ease her lips into a smile. Drawing closer her hand touches a small stool, the soft red fabric beckoning her to sit and relax.

Once seated her eyes tilt up to her reflection. "Oh..." Ichigo gasps at her appearance. Blinking in shock, the thick mass of flat orange hair has streaks of gold highlighting the vibrant locks. "I guess... it's from the sun?" Her face has filled out a bit more and her complexion is still tan. The small scar on her forehead makes her eyebrow lift. Reaching a hand up to the corner of the left side of her forehead her fingers slip over the tiny scar. "When did I get you?" A wave of dizziness hits her and she clutches the flat table top of the vanity to keep from falling off the stool. Lowering her head, the long strands of hair fall over her face. Something is strange here. Gazing through the orange her eyes widen in shock at the golden irises appearing. "Gah! What do you want?"

The dizziness gives her nauseating pains in her stomach struggling from the cushion she shakes her head trying to make it quit. It only grows worse. In her delirium she staggers out the door trying to make in make to her room to lay down. Pushing open a door she can't even focus properly. Seeing white she drops forward landing on something hard. "H-Help me."

He isn't asleep. Just laying very still until he hears the door open and sees her shape. At first terror streaks through him that it is happening again, that Ichigo is walking around in that coma. But her voice is the normal soft tone he remembers. Byakuya's arms manage to wrap around her before she hits the floor next to the bed. "Ichigo?" Pushing aside her hair with one hand, and his other holding her body up effortlessly he turns her chin to look at the color of her eyes. "One gold and one brown..." Instantly the white of the mask starts to appear in the corner of her forehead. "No... Ichigo fight it."

"What is happening... to me?" Her hand lifts up to Byakuya's face sliding down his cheek. "Sad... you look so sad. Why?"

"I'm a selfish man." Gripping the mask trying to grow over her face he starts breaking it off a piece at a time. "I'm thinking about what I lost and it's trivial compared to what you have."

"Tch! It's your fault she ran! I protect Ichigo! I can smell the stink of death in this place!"

"It's you." The hand on his cheek turns menacing. Fingernails dig into Byakuya skin cutting a sharp line from his eye down to his chin. Turning around he pushes Ichigo's body down to the mattress and hold the woman down by the wrists. "Why do you keep coming to me? What are you trying to tell me?" For years... this happens. This other side wakes and comes to him talking nonsense and is so angry at him. "Tell me!" Blood drips from his wound down to her cheek, her eyes golden and wild with anger.

"As long as he lives... I will never rest!"

"Who is it?" Struggling against the strength and reiatsu cutting into him he can only raise his a little more and lean a leg between her legs to keep the beast from hurting either one of them. "I swear on my pride, I will kill him with my sword. Name the man who did it."

"Names mean nothing... words mean NOTHING to me! He is..." Her eyes start to change back, the mask crumbling away to dust. "Not what he seems... he is a lie. A false god."

"A false god?" he says watching her body go limp. Tucking Ichigo's legs into the covers of his own bed he sits on the edge pondering the few clues he has managed to glean over the years. Turning his head to look at her, his hand reaches out to graze her bangs when the twinkle of the engagement ring makes him draw back. "You are draining what little reiatsu Ichigo has to deliver your messages. Now that she is awake, I fear you are going to harm her." With a sigh he slides open the partition leading to the next room and lays down on the futon sleeps in. But this is war to Byakuya. He made a vow to Ichigo's ally and he will keep it. God knows he owes her much more than a promise. Is it really his fault that Ichigo left that time? One word cost him everything...

_**Flashback;**_

"Abarai, the reports from yesterday are missing. Please send for the leader of last nights patrol."

"Right away captain." Renji pauses at the doorway and gives his captain a smirk. "It can't hurt to call him by his name. He is Ichigo's boy-"

"I'm waiting." he replies coolly his pin moving over the paperwork that needs to be set in order before the evening. Friday nights he spends with Ichigo ever since he finally decided to accept that she is the way she is and became her friend. And to his surprise friendship with her didn't require him to stop being the way he is. She accepted him and his cool nature with ease. Looking back on his life he isn't much different than Ichigo.

Byakuya never intended to be different than any other Kuchiki. Growing up in luxury gave him a certain amount of self-indulgence. The clan looks to him to be the leader and as a child he used it often to remind everyone that he is above them all.

That is until he met Hisana and loved her so much he pushed aside any comments about her coming from Rukongai. The elders shunned him the first few years of the marriage, but Byakuya ignored them. He was content to have one thing for himself, but with her death he found himself empty handed. For the first time he pondered his failure. He took a risk bringing Hisana into the family and her absence left him barren inside.

However the death of his parents made him more sedate. The days of chasing the were-cat and mocking his teachers washed away with the rain after the funeral. Standing on the shoulders of his father's name changed into a weight of responsibility. He became ideal. The perfect son and heir that the elders wanted. The only thing he had to cling to was the role he was fated to play. Resigning himself to a life of denial was the only logical way to make up for the embarrassment the clan suffered.

"Captain you asked for me?"

"Your reports are late." Byakuya doesn't even look up, he continues writing to avoid the man. Something about him digs under his skin unable to figure it out annoys Byakuya more and more as the months pass. "I'm waiting."

"I'm sorry captain. I was with _Ichigo_ last night and I lost track of ti-"

"You have one hour." he says stacking up a bunch of files and putting them in his desk drawer as the man leaves.

Renji watches in shock as Byakuya allows that guy to get walk the hell out of there after dangling Ichigo's name in his face. "Captain... I think maybe-"

"Give him enough time." Byakuya replies walking over to his window to see Ichigo walking towards the building. "He will show his real worth." His dark blue eyes open into slits watching Ichigo smile and run over to that man and hug him.

"Is that why you let him get away with it?" Renji says peeking out the window at the happy couple. "Using Ichigo as some kind of buffer against you?"

"That is a ridiculous assumption on his part." Byakuya raises his hand to Renji and they both listen to the conversation.

"I waited for you last night in the usual place, but you never came." Ichigo curls her body closer to his to breathe in his scent.

"Oh sorry about that. I was on patrol. How about you come over tonight and I'll make it up too you?"

"H-Hands!" she swats at his knuckles taking a step back. "It's Friday," Ichigo sighs tugging her haori closer around her body from the brisk wind blowing at her robes. "You know I hang out with Byakuya."

"Come on... The captain won't even miss you. Just this once...? Please?"

"Tch, giving me the sad puppy face isn't going to work. There is always next Thur-"

"It's always like this! Fighting over when I can see you!"

"I wasn't aware we were fighting about it at all." Ichigo steps away only to feel a hand wrap around her wrist and tug her to a nearby storage shed.

"You are my girl, not his! He can go visit his dead wife at the shri-"

Her hand lifts instantly smacking him across the face. "Don't you ever talk about him or Hisana-san like that again." Walking towards the door she is much too angry to notice two sets of eye peeking through the window. "I'm ashamed of you! I... thought I knew you better than-"

"That stuffy asshole is never going to notice you! _I_ love you! _I_ notice everything!"

"Your misplaced jealousy... is going to ruin us!" She screams before darting through the door and flash stepping away.

Byakuya points a finger towards the swinging door, stepping inside the door is shut by Renji on the other side. "You will say your goodbyes tonight and never return to the Gotei. Am I clear?"

"You are going to win... You are going to take her away from me. Go ahead and gloat."

"If I would fight in this battle over Ichigo's affections, you would certainly end in defeat. " Turning his back on the man Byakuya hands struggle not to curl into fists. "Ichigo is forgiving. You might be able to save your relationship."

"What's the point? She looks through me to see you."

Byakuya pushes open the door giving Renji a nod as he passes by. It's an unsettling event. For the remainder of the day his mind returns over and over to the scene.

"_Did I fail in some way?" _He can't get it off his mind. His reaction was calm, Ichigo was more angry than he was. So why are his palms sweating even now just thinking about it? People look to him to make the best choices, to be the example. Thrust in the middle of Ichigo's love-life is unsavory. Walking into the manor he is greeted by the servants, he pulls off his haori handing it over to be washed. Nodding his head he retreats to his study.

Once seated and his tea is delivered he finally leans an arm on his desk to rest his forehead in his palm. For the next twenty minutes he can be alone to think. What is it that really bothers him? The jealousy or the insinuation that Ichigo's feelings are stronger than friendship.

"_It's impossible... I live in a huge manor with my every action under scrutiny." _Just for a moment he entertains the notion of what it might be like with the orange-headed woman staying here. His hand lifts on it's own tugging his hairpiece from place then sets the white porcelain object on the desk in front of him. Ichigo's presence would brighten the- everything... she already has made his world happier. Being here and talking to him, sometimes saying nothing, other times she just visits with Rukia. Somehow he would end up in the same room content listening to their voices.

"_I am a prince of Soul Society..." _Slipping his eyes closed, Byakuya knows every detail of her face. Her smile, her lips, the way her hair curls at the very tips of it. How would she look in a formal kimono? Would she even wear one? His head leans lower to rest on his arms as he thinks about red silk against her skin. Before he realizes it he falls asleep a deep dreamless slumber. _"She would wear one if asked... I'm certain."_

"Oi! Byakuya you ready to eat?"

"Yes?" Lifting his head at the sudden sound of Ichigo's voice he opens his eyes to find her standing in front of his desk in a crimson colored kimono with hand stitched golden swans on the long skirt and a dark navy obi around her waist. "Am I dreaming?"

"No?" Putting her hands on her hip she lifts her eyebrow up at the strange expression on his face. "Rukia made me do it! I-I know it's one of the Kuchiki family- oh hell." Scrambling with the obi she starts to slide the bow around to the front so she can take it off. "I-I'm so sorry. You are right. This is all wrong."

"Not at all." He says rising from his chair and walking around his desk. Her hands are still busy tugging frantically at the fabric. "You don't need to remove it."

"It's alright I'm wearing like four layers any-" Ichigo stops talking when his hand touches her wrist pulling her away from the fabric of the obi. "Byakuya?" She blinks as his hands grip her wrists and the obi drops to the floor in a silky pillow. Shocked and confused she meets his gaze, opening her mouth to speak but he interrupts her.

"Accept this kimono as a gift." His hands move from her wrist to reach down and grab the obi.

"I couldn't poss-" Ichigo's eyes widen when his finger touches her lips. _"Ok, right this is Byakuya. You don't argue with him." _Instantly everything inside her twists into a knot, her eyes don't dare look away from his ashen blue irises. She can't breathe or look away. He has her complete attention and the urge to fidget or laugh it away grows inside her belly.

"_What am I doing?" _He is already chastising himself as his finger slips over her lips. The softness and the heat of her breath makes his eye lids lower. Barely an inch away from her lips he begins to struggle inside. The dim light of the study makes her skin glow, and her hair is down pooling in orange and golden waves on her neck. _"You look beautiful." _he wants to say but it's impossible. His voice is gone and the increasing silence is seducing Byakuya to want something from her for the first time.

It's intense standing in front of Byakuya, his face normally calm and sedate is showing Ichigo a side she has never seen before. With his teeth biting at his lower lip and his brows furrowed in confusion, Ichigo doesn't move an inch. Her heart drums a loud staccato in her ears so aware of the longing splashing on his face. The pull to give him what he wants streaks through her body. And just as her hands start to move the fabric is quickly tied around her waist.

Moving his hands from her waist Byakuya remains near her mouth, his eyes still looking directly at her large amber eyes. He isn't thinking, he is just staring at her, so close... so close to her. "I want to more than anything." His eyes growing round that he spoke his desire out loud.

"Just do it already." she blurts out, her cheeks turning the color of her dress.

Byakuya arms instantly circle her small waist, his mouth almost touching Ichigo's but he senses his sister coming around the side of his office. "Rukia will be here in sixty seconds."

"Then you better make it a good one." Ichigo whispers then grabs his robe crashing her lips to his. She'll take it. She needs to touch him like this.

Fast and fierce his mouth moves over hers, her hands try to dig at his clothes but he grabs them, and steps forward pushing her back to the wall. With his passion boiling in his veins, Byakuya's lips dig at hers. No time to breathe, or touch he instead pours everything into the kiss. She is a drug to him, and he needs just a little more... just so much more. He'll be fine with just one more kiss then he can breathe again.

Gasping in surprise his hard body crushes hers, and her arms wiggle in his grasp to be free to roam. But his teeth graze her lower lip making everything go fuzzy. Going limp, she surrenders to him letting Byakuya have all the power. Instantly she is rewarded with his tongue sliding over her upper lip. Ichigo's knees go weak, it's not like her. It's not her to be this... wanting. If only she could have one more minute. One more she could be satisfied.

Suddenly he is gone, her body sliding down the wall until she drops on her bottom. Panting for air she tries to gather herself. Her hands are shaking, her cheeks blazing hot, and her body is more excited than she has ever been. Tilting her head against the wall she can hear Byakuya speaking with Rukia and footsteps leading away from the office. After a few minutes she straighten her clothes and lifts a hand up to open the door when it slides open. "Byakuya... I need to talk to you."

"Rukia has just told me congratulations are in order. That you are engaged to be married." he says in a icy voice, his face blank and civil.

"That is what I wanted to talk about. I haven't accepted him yet. I-I told him when I decided I would wear it." Fetching the ring from her pocket she sets the tiny diamond in her palm giving him a pale expression. "Could their be a reason for me to say no?" her lips move still burning from his kiss. The pleading in her eyes intensify as he turns his back on her. _"Please say yes. Please tell me you want me!"_

"No."

"B-But... I thought-"

"Let me help you make your decision." He whirls back around, grabs the ring and pushes down her finger. "Congratulations Ichigo."

Utterly stunned she takes a step back from him, her hear sinking low. "I-I see." Darting out the door she vanishes from his sight.

Curling his hands into fists he instantly regrets it. He does want her, instensly and deeply wants her, but Byakuya is ashamed of himself for kissing another man's woman. Taking a deep breath he starts to realize neither of them planned that kiss. How can he blame her for it? It was pure passion and he felt so alive and hungry for her.

"Nii-sama, it's time for dinner. Is Ichigo gone?"

"Yes, she had something to do." he tells Rukia, his hands relaxing against his sides. "However... I think in the morning I would like to see her right away."

"Nii-sama?"

"I have something to tell her..."

_**End of Flashback;**_

"_No..." _

That one word, that single denial, cost him everything. Later that night Ichigo was attacked in her own office suffering a devastating head wound and went into a coma.

Byakuya turns in the small futon bed so he can see her shape across the room and into the next one. For ten years he kept this woman close to him. And now that she is awake he isn't about to let anything happen to her.

_"Captain Unohana told me I might be able to get my memories back." _

If she does remember... will she still want him? Will she resent him for breaking her heart? Or should he let the past go and just be thankful to have her back in his life? "I promise to be better... if I'm forgiven."

* * *

><p>Ok chapter two! Gah I stayed up night getting this done so send me some love ok! chuuuuuuu Huggles to all my muggles! Fuzzi<p> 


	3. My Memory Keeper

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Antebellum**_

_**Parting is all we know of heaven,**_

_**And all we need of hell. ~**__** Emily Dickinson**_

_**Chapter 3; My Memory Keeper**_

It's midday before Ichigo has a chance to wonder the grounds of the Kuchiki manor for some much needed space. Rukia woke her up early this morning and yanked her into a salon for a 'Spa Day.' After a bath and full body massage, then waxing in some very personal places she feels anxious to be alone and lick her wounds. Figuratively, not literally that would just be you know... weird.

Rukia gave it her best effort to make her feel comfortable, and Ichigo smiled on the outside content to listen to Rukia and Rangiku-san's conversation. Somehow words are difficult for her now. It's mainly the fact that Ichigo knows there is a huge gap in her memory and filling it up with new experiences just might be for the best.

"_Ichigo, why don't you cut your hair back to the length it was before? Short hair is very hip!" Rukia gestures to her shorter cropped hair with a wide grin._

"_Well..." Pondering it over for a minute she recalls Byakuya's words from the night before. "Byakuya said he liked it this way." she answers, with a tug at her mouth. "I've never heard him say he likes anything about me before." This smile first smile feels nice, and Ichigo decides at that moment to make an effort to be happier in front of her friends._

With a sigh she leans her hand on a building fighting the urge to try and flash step again. It didn't work out so well this morning, she literally fell on her face after a wave of dizziness knocked the wind out of her. Rukia laughed her ass off. Closing her eyes she tries to focus on her destination but her mind swirls. "It's no good. I don't have enough reiatsu."

"Kurosaki-sama, we have been looking for you."

"Ugh, what is it?" Ichigo's eyes pop open to a row of servants standing in front of her. "I mean..." rubbing at her temples she slumps against the building, pressing her back flat to avoid eye contact. "I'm sorry. I know Byakuya put you up to this but I'm fine really. I don't need all three of you to stalk-err help me."

"Byakuya-sama is asking for you to join him in the main house reception area." The taller gentleman gestures for Ichigo to follow him.

"Alright." Ichigo reluctantly trails behind the finely groomed gray haired man with two female servant just behind her. The two maids whisper just loud enough that Ichigo can hear.

"Did you notice the master seems in higher spirits today?"

"Yes, I wonder _why_ that is?" The blonde maid tilts her head with a knowing grin.

"I want to know too." Ichigo stops walking and turns around to see their shocked faces. "What?"

Both young women giggle in response.

"Let us be on our way." The head butler Touji says sliding open a door. "That will be all Ayame-chan, Magnolia-chan."

"Yes, sir." The maids scurry off towards the servants quarters leaving Ichigo more confused than ever.

Waiting just inside the room Byakuya's eyes flicker over to the orange head appearing in the doorway. In walks Ichigo wearing a lavender yukata that turns to a darker plum color near the hem. Her hair is pulled up but for a single braid laying on her shoulder and two long orange-golden bangs parted on the side hugging her tan face. Continuing to stare he notices the hint of pink on her eyelids and her lips are accented by a darker color of pink, with her small nose and amber eyes she has never looked so stunning and provocative.

The gasp of surprise reminds him to look away, to shut his eyes but she speaks causing his eyes to quickly shift back to her face.

"Hi... _everyone_." Watching the two rows of captains all bowing at her is the weirdest thing to happen to her yet. Well except Byakuya being nice to her-that one kinda takes the cake.

"Kurosaki Ichigo..." Yama-ji says stepping toward Ichigo. "We of the Gotei are-"

"One second!" Ichigo lifts a finger up in the air struggling with the whole scene. "B-Byakuya can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course." he says with a frown, what is she thinking interrupting the Commander? His arm is grabbed and he finds himself just outside the door looking down at frown.

"What did I do?" Ichigo leans back looking through the door at their serious faces. "They are acting like... pissed. And well they are ALL here! WHY?"

"I was going to prepare you, but it appears the captain commander is anxious-"

"One more second." She gives the captains a wide smile before vanishing back behind the door. "I'm freaking out!"

"Ichigo-"

"Kurosaki-san?" Unohana appears in the doorway looping her arm around Ichigo's and smiling. "We are waiting.. It wouldn't be polite to keep us waiting, now would it?"

Only able to shake her head Ichigo is lead back into the room and presented with a haori. "Huh?" Lifting it up from a very happy looking Hinamori Momo's arms she blinks in shock at the number five embroidered on the back.

"We are eager for you to return to your captain's seat." Yamamoto turns his back on her walking towards the exit. "It is a relief that you covered from your injuries."

Byakuya sensing her discomfort stands behind Ichigo just as she starts to open her month and protest. "Just bow for now." he whispers, nudging her shoulders forward. The captains all file out but for Captain Unohana, and soon as the door shuts Ichigo tosses the haori on the ground.

"What the hell? _I'm_ a captain? And these people are looking at me like I'm some sort of-of-"

"Hero, Kurosaki-san." Unohana says bending over to pick up the discarded haori. "You have done many great things for Soul Society."

"Why? The last thing I remember is Ulquiorra acting all high and-" she stops speaking placing a hand on her throat. "No, he was going to kill me..." Grabbing at the sides of her head she drops to the floor. "Fighting... fighting... I have to protect-"

"You did, Kurosaki-san. You protected everyone." Unohana touches Ichigo's sweaty brow a dull blue hue of kidou radiates from her fingers. "I need you to listen to me. The person who hurt you was never found. Kuchiki-san and I have a plan to draw that person out in order to see justice served for you."

"What plan?"

"We told no one about your memory loss." Byakuya reaches out a hand to help Ichigo off the floor. "The attacker will panic at hearing you've recovered and try to finish the job before you can expose them. You will need to act as you have in the past in order to not draw any suspicion to your behavior. Can you do this?"

"I-I- don't know. I don't know who I am right now!"

"Kurosaki-san, this person tried to take your life in a cowardly way. Surely you can understand _our_ need to protect you?" Retsu slides Ichigo's haori around her shoulders to make her point. "I will _not_ allow my friends suffering to go answered for."

"Cooperate with us, Ichigo." Byakuya senses her reluctance making her shake and decides to take hold of her arm to make her get up from the floor. "I will not let anything happen to you."

A hand, a sentence spoken full of confidence, anyone could do this, but from Byakuya's lips they are vow of security, a promise that you can count on and she believes him. Byakuya is simply incapable of making a promise he can't keep. "Alright." she says curling her fingers around his forearm and rising from the hardwood floor. "But, how am I going to act like I know the past ten years?"

"I wrote it all down." Byakuya pulls out of his haori a navy colored journal. "I only ask... that if you have any questions to come to me. Don't try and draw your own conclusions."

"_Awesome... Byakuya still thinks I'm stupid." _Ichigo grumbles shifting her eyes to the right.

"Kuchiki-san, I will be leaving now." Unohana walks toward the door. "A word please."

Thin lipped, Byakuya walks over to the exit his breath feeling slightly short. It's not easy to see Ichigo so upset, but he glad his words seemed to comfort her a bit. Everything matters more when it feels like she is slipping out of his control now that she is awake.

"I believe the long years of you resting nearby have blended Kurosaki-san's soul with yours. You should be able to use the technique I showed you to calm the _other _ if it appears. Have a good afternoon."

"Thank you captain Unohana-san."

After the initial shock of the whole scene Ichigo finds herself being lead to a different building by Byakuya. The silence, the muted footsteps amplify the thoughts echoing in her head. _"No matter what this book says, I just can't see myself being a captain. What happened? I have to know." _With so many questions and no memories to cling too she startles as the door slides open in front of her.

"This is my personal library. The staff is forbidden from entering." he tells her in a calm tone. "Take the afternoon to read over the journal." Turning to walk past her Byakuya reaches the left staircase leading to the second floor. "I will be close by if you... need me."

"Thanks..." she says too busy taking in the two floors of tall shelves filled with books from floor to ceiling. The room is split into two perfect mirrors images each side having a staircase leading to a loft style second floor also lined with shelves of books but the center section where the stairs lead is open with a large cherry-wood desk in the center. "That's a lot of books." And Byakuya has certainly read them all, he is just that type of person.

Shifting her eyes back to the ground floor she smiles finding two long chaise facing each other in the center of the room with a brightly lit fireplace just behind the staircases. _"It smells like him. He must spend a lot of time here." _Ichigo finally steps inside the room deciding to sit on the comfortable looking blue cushioned sofa on the right.

Once seated the haori around her shoulders slips from her shoulders forcing her to stand up and slide it around her body to drape it over the back of the sofa next to her. "It's different." Sliding her hand down the very soft fabric she looks at the sleeveless slim design.

"Yes, I discarded my old one in Hueco Mundo and ordered replacements for everyone." he points a long finger to a wooden hook where his haori hangs. "Yours was tailor made to suit your fighting style and body type, of course."

"O-Of course?" she mumbles looking at the wooden coat rack and the white haori hanging from it.

"You may hang yours next to mine until Monday morning when you are to report to your division."

"Alright." she says flinching inside, the only thing she seems to be able to do today is agree with him. God! He is going to think she is just mindless. Exhaling a deep breath she walks over to the coat rack and hangs hers on the opposite hook from his. It's a strange sight, two haori's next to each other, one belonging to her, the other Byakuya of all people. What kind of person did she become to motivate the seemingly cold prince of Soul Society into making her feel so welcome in his home? _"He calls me friend, says he wants to protect me... what did I do to earn it? How do I make things equal between us, __if I'm so weak that Byakuya keeps me within reach?"_

Up the stairs, now sitting behind his desk Byakuya begins to make a list of things Ichigo will need to memorize if she is to pass as a captain. His hand moves over the paper as he keeps his reiatsu low enough to sense hers. If Ichigo's spiritual pressure keeps forming, he should be able to restore the massive empty reservoir inside her soon. That is... if she will choose to stay. Continuing to write his lips lift slightly as her footsteps thud up the stairs.

"Byakuya did I really-"

"Yes, you defeated Aizen with the help of Urahara Kisuke." He answers without pausing to look up at her, a moment later her footsteps recede back downstairs... and five seconds later they return.

"Umm..."

"Yes, you lost your shinigami powers."

"Well shit!"

His lips curl slightly. This time he stops writing to look at her flustered face. Despite her irritation Ichigo's cheeks are filled with a healthy color and with her hand on her hip she couldn't look more adorable so completely frustrated.

"Is that why I'm a total wuss right now?"

"No, please finish reading." Lifting his hand he points the pen in his hand to the chaise below. "Go on now." There is the attitude that he has been missing. _"It's nice to have you back, Ichigo."_

Then again, her personality does have it's drawbacks. Ignoring her groan of protest he finishes his list and reads it over. The real challenge in all of this is to try and keep anyone from finding out she is weak long enough for her reiatsu to restore.

"What the hell!" Ichigo screams from the sofa, this time she dashes up the staircase and points a finger at the page. "What the hell, BYAKUYA!"

"_She must have found the-"_

"What the hell is a Fullbring and WHY did I once AGAIN lose those powers too?"

"I'm pretending it never happened. I suggest you do too." Dropping his pen in a small glass box on his desk he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Please try and relax." he says exhaling a deep breath, but he does understand why finding out all this is a bit too much to handle.

"I-I'm not ready to relax. I still have some more freaking out to do."

"Alright, can it wait until after dinner?"

"Oh yeah sure. I'm starving." She gives him a wide smile expecting Byakuya to scold her. Honestly it's a self defense mechanism in her for things that feel too serious. "I'm just kidding... well I _am_ hungry." she adds, halfway expecting Byakuya to scold her for trying to smooth over the tension, however to her surprise he chuckles. "Y-You're... smiling?

Tilting his head Byakuya decides to return her smile just to see her reaction. The dark-haired noble enjoys so few things in life more than Ichigo's blush. Even before the attack she would blush so red that her skin turns the most seductive color he has ever seen on a woman.

"Shh. Do not tell anyone." he whispers, standing from his desk and holding up her to-do list. "We have until Monday to make sure you learn all this." Handing her the sheet he walks down the stairs his grin widening into a smile. Yes, he impressed her with that, took her off guard, and got to see the blush again... Byakuya is satisfied with the result.

"They wouldn't even believe me..." Ichigo mutters under her breath. Something unthinkable just happened, Byakuya seemed like he wanted her to blush. Why? Why would he want to make her all... smooshy inside?

Byakuya's hand reaches the door and as it slides open he turns his head to glance at her. It's not an impulse, he is concerned about how she is going to cope. Finding her back on the chaise with one hand on her head, her eyes round in shock, and the book laying open on her lap he understands she has gotten to_ that_ part. How do you tell someone they are-

"Byakuya," Ichigo says instantly rising from the sofa, her book slipping from her fingers and she gathers the violet material of the hem on her yukata. "you..." Running to his side her fingers open dropping the hem of her skirt. "you gave me my powers back."

"I... was one of many."

"You gave me a place to belong, even when my friends and my sisters thought the worst of me. Thank you."

"You earned your place as a captain." Byakuya tells her lightly setting a hand on her shoulder, his fingers grazing the small orange braid resting on the soft yukata. "Please finish reading as soon as possible." Pulling reluctantly away, he steps out the door to go find a servant. She is hungry and he feels a need to come back to her side as quickly as possible. Walking down the hallway her voice echoes startling the maids passing him by.

"WHO THE FUCK IS GINJO? I WANNA KICK HIS ASS!"

"_You already did..." _he continues walking. The house is never going to be quiet again. And that is alright with the prince of Soul Society, it's been quiet far too long.

Page after page she reads of her past, the words sometimes blurring until she can't see. However, even if the words hurt, or don't seem familiar she can feel them. They are proof that she kept moving forward and protecting people important to her elegantly written over each page with so much care strengthens her heart. "Thank you, Byakuya." Holding the book to her chest she takes a deep breath. "My memory keeper."

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><p>Special thanks to RamecupMiso, and Paraiya for the encouragement. This chapter was a big challenge. I hope I did okay =) HUGS YOU ALL and thanks for the wonderful reviews. I truly enjoy this pairing and hope you are patient to let the story develop. Please stick with me! HUGS Fuzzi<p> 


	4. Absolution

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Antebellum**_

"_**The truth always brings with it a great measure of absolution, always." ~ R.D. Laing**_

_**Chapter 4; Absolution**_

The final rays of sunset flicker over Ichigo's face as she stares blankly at the trickling water filling up a long bamboo tube. Once the water reaches a certain point it will tip and come clacking down on a stone, pouring the water out into the small pond. It's meant to scare away deer from feasting on gardens, but Ichigo has always liked the sound of them. The consistent sharp thud of a Sozu is kind of comforting. How dependable. Clack... one, two, three, four, clack. Sozu aren't found in Karakura Town anymore, people don't need them in the city. "I guess there are deer somewhere around here." she says reaching an arm over the side of the porch she is lounging on to dip her fingertips in the cold water.

"What are you doing out in this cool air after your bath?" Byakuya's feet lightly step behind her as she rolls over to look at him.

"I'm just listening."

"And what has your interest to the point you are willing to catch a cold to hear?" he asks pulling off his dark red kimono to wrap around her shoulders. No, he doesn't hear anything of note. Something is troubling her and he knows what it is when she sits up and pulls the journal out of a pocket in her pale blue yukata. _"She is going to ask about the gap in the journal."_

"I am curious about something."

"_What am I going to say? I don't want to see her upset."_ Reaching out a hand he helps her to stand. "There is another journal that will fill in the answers you seek."

"Another journal?"

~/~

"_Ohhhhhhhh." _You can kill a man in so many delightful ways. Torture is really a lost art. Blunt, sharp, hot, cold, wet, and loud, but as the tall man walks stealthily through the shadows he smiles a wide knowing grin-there are so many _more_ delicious forms of torture he has discovered. _"Yesssss." _How he has waited so many years to strip everything away from that bitch. And he will... his plan has already begun. _"Ichigo Kurosaki, you have made a fool of me for the last time and there is nothing Kuchiki can do to stop me."_

_**Thirty minutes later;**_

Flicking her eyes from one grinning face to the other Ichigo can feel the fear snaking up her spine coiling around her throat to silence her voice. _"What am I going to do?" _

The large strong hand reaches out grabbing her and she is gone.

Byakuya Kuchiki is just about to step a foot in his bath when he senses the tiny hint of Ichigo's reiatsu flutter then completely vanish. For a split second he ponders if the loss of reiatsu is just a side effect of it being unstable, or if she is in trouble, but ultimately the dark-haired noble decides to check on her anyway. Wrapping a white robe around his shoulders he walks across the bathhouse heading into his bedroom to quickly dress.

Meanwhile Ichigo's brown eyes widen staring down at a tiny sake cup.

"Juushiro and I have missed you, Ichigo-chan. It's great to have our drinking partner back!" Shunsui pours Ichigo another cup with a wide smile. "You look well. I can't understand why Byakuya-kun is keeping you under lock and key. We had to sneak in just to find you." Giving her a slight pout he enjoys the color filling her cheeks. "Are you perhaps still in love with me?" Leaning over the small table his fingertips slide up her chin.

"W-What?" She tries to stand up only to have her view tilt in on her. "A-Are you saying-"

"Kyoraku! You are upsetting, Ichigo-chan." Juushiro raises his hands up in the air trying to comfort the suddenly pale woman. "H-He is only joking."

"Oh... I'm not... t-thank god." she says dropping to the mat and cackling. "Hahahaha!" The room starts to spin making her feel even happier. Evidently, she used to drink with these two. "That's funny! I was freaking out!"

"Awe, Ichigo-chan, you don't have to be so relived." The captain of the eighth division's smile wilts into a deep pout, his shoulders drooping in misery. "I refuse to smile until you have another drink."

"Kyo-"

"Deal!" Quickly downing the the liquid she points at him. "Now you."

Juushiro watches the two trade drinks back and forth like champions in the Super Bowl with his mouth gaping. It occurs to him after her third drink that she hasn't had sake in ten years... It's totally possible she is already stone drunk. "I think you should stop."

"She is fine, Juushiro!"

"Yes, she-" Ichigo's words instantly stop her head dropping against the table in a dull thud.

"Oh... you were right." Kyoraku says tilting his head to the right. "Oi~ Ichigo...? Oi~ Ichigo?" He starts poking her shoulder. "Oi?" Shunsui starts to chuckle uncontrollably. "She is totally gone."

"It's strange... sake's never affected her before." Juushiro says with a hand on his chin. "Ichigo's tremendous reiatsu should burn it off."

"I noticed... and did you notice how tiny her reiatsu is right now?" Shunsui smooths back her long orange hair get a closer look at Ichigo's face. "It's like she is suppressing it so it's almost undetectable." He edges around the table and pulls her over to lay in his lap. Her tiny features remind him of how young she was when he first encountered her. "Why would she do that?"

"Perhaps Ichigo-chan's head injury-"

"What are you doing?" Byakuya's deep voice interrupts Ukitake as he steps inside the room. There is _his _Ichigo laying across Captain Kyoraku's lap, his hands in _her_ hair. "Are you two responsible for stealing Ichigo from my manor?"

"It was Shunsui's idea!" Juushiro says pointing a finger at his friend. _"Oh we did steal... We stole a woman!"_

"H-Here." Shunsui stands handing the sleeping woman in his arms over to a very unhappy looking noble. "We... just wanted to visit our friend, surely you can understand." Smile... smile. Oh he has made Byakuya angry. It's not like he doesn't know why... everyone knows the dark-haired noble is smitten with Ichigo. It was obvious by the way Byakuya-kun insisted she stay at the manor after the accident. Hmm, maybe even before that actually. When she first introduced that person as her boyfriend, Shunsui flicked his gaze over to Kuchiki who looked stunned. _"Ah, Byakuya... I see you aren't going to make the same mistake twice. Good for you."_

"We apologize for-"

The ridiculousness of the scene only feeds Byakuya's frustration further. Wordlessly Byakuya leaves the room and in a few small flash steps he is able to lay Ichigo's sleeping body on a soft pink quilt. "There, you are back where you belong." he whispers leaning across her with one arm to hold himself just above her sleeping face. "I'm not used to wanting things, Ichigo." he tells her touching the back of his hand to her rosy cheek, his long bangs shift to conceal part of his face. "I've waited so long, and my time is running out." It's more than difficult, it's damn near impossible to resist kissing her soft looking lips. Sucking in a deep breath he lowers his head closer, his smoky blue eyes slanting to her mouth. His lips part, so close... he could, she wouldn't even know.

"_Byakuya-sama... I'm sorry for not having the chance to love you in return..."_

Byakuya exhales a silent gasp at the memory of his wife's words. No, this time he will be careful, it offends his pride to follow in the same path as before. _"Ichigo is incapable of hiding her emotions from me. Her heart shows clearly on her face."_

Reluctantly rising from her side he walks across the room to retire for the evening just has his hand touches the partition her voice makes him freeze.

"Who is he?" Ichigo staggers to her feet. "In your journal... you only call him _that person_, or _that man_... Why?"

"I will never speak his name." he replies without turning to look at her.

"Why? Didn't you like him?" She stumbles toward him, her vision blurring slightly from drinking too much. "What did he do?"

"Ichigo..." How does he explain it without her being sad? "I..." His mind starts to churn with a list of acceptable lies, lies that won't expose how he feels about her, lies that don't show how deeply jealous he was of that man. "I..." But she values his opinion and his honesty. It grates against his nerves to just let it go.

"What are you so afraid to tell me? Is he the one who hurt-"

"He offends me." Whirling around to face her, he lifts a hand in the air in annoyance. "I will never speak his name or think him worthy of you!" Byakuya finally lets his disdain spill out. "That man never came to see you! Not once did he hold your hand and or press a cool cloth to your cheek!"

"Oh..."

Tilting his head to see her lips trembling, he tastes the regret in his mouth. "I shouldn't-"

"Don't." Lifting a hand up in the air, she winces at the sparkling diamond on her finger. "I'm glad you told me. Heh... if it had been anyone else I wouldn't believe them. That I was abandoned." Staring at the ring she suddenly feels like it shouldn't be there, that the promises between them were violated by his absence. "I guess, holding onto this isn't important." Ichigo pulls off the ring walks to the exit. "I don't need this. I can be alone." Sliding open the door she tosses the diamond outside and into the lake just outside of the elevated room. "I've stood on my own since I became shinigami. I can do it again."

"_Incredible..." _Byakuya watches her fold her arms defiantly without a single tear, how simple she makes it all seem. "Ichi-" But suddenly she turns pale and starts to drop to the floor. He instantly appears behind her, lifting her up and the noble return her to bed. "Rest... in the morning, real challenges wait for you."

"Real challenges?" she whispers feeling the covers pulled up to her chin, and warmth streaking over her cheek. "You mean it gets harder?"

"Yes. Tomorrow someone will arrive to help you." he whispers watching her eyes slip shut. "Good night, Ichigo."

So he let his feelings out, and the worst didn't happen. Ichigo didn't fall apart or yell at him for expressing his thoughts... and the best thing, the thing he didn't see that would be the result... his words made her move forward. _"You did it again, Ichigo... Granted me absolution with your strength."_

* * *

><p><em>I stayed up too late writing this... I'm so tired LOL I hope you like it! I am so thrilled with the response I couldn't wait the upload again^^ Now the story will start to heat up! HUGS Fuzzi<em>


	5. Iridescence

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Antebellum**_

"_**Left alone with only reflections of the memory  
>To face the ugly girl that's smothering me<br>Sitting closer than my pain  
>He knew each tear before it came<br>Soon He will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by..." Flyleaf 'Sorrow' **_

_**Chapter 5; Iridescence**_

He has to wait until Monday. So that Kurosaki returns to here division and becomes all comfortable and complacent. Then he will make his move. Damn it! It's just so hard to wait that long. Maybe he will just play with her head a little. Yes... he could hurt someone close to her. But who? Who really cares about that worthless annoyance anyway? Ho? What's this? Oh yes, yes, yessssss this person will be perfect. Now to make a plan.

~/~

"Ichigo..."

A deep voice is calling her, rich yet softly rumbling in her chest with a sternly pleasant sound. It's a comforting way to speak Ichigo's name.

"Ichigo... it's time to wake up."

"Hmm?" she lightly answers turning her face toward her pillow and her whole body snuggles deeper under the covers. Say it again, just one more time and she will get up. _"I'm used to goat-"_

"OI! ICHIGO! MOVE YOUR ASS!"

Her personal serenity is shattered by a loud female voice, and she is lifted blanket and all up from the bed. "Huh...?" she opens her eyes to a wide smiling mouth.

"Wake up! I can't wait to kick your-"

"Shihoin Yoruichi," Byakuya right eye twitches in annoyance. How dare that woman come here and interrupt his_ 'gentle wake up'_ of Ichigo. It took him an hour to decide precisely how to do it! "Release her at once."

"Ho? What's this welcome?" Yoruichi says shaking her arms in the air. Ichigo's body is fling up into the air the sheet wrapping her up in a burrito. "You invited me."

"D-Don't shake me." she mutters, feeling the hangover from lasts night drinking party kick in. "I-I'm gonna hurl..."

"I requested Urahara Kisuke to restore Ichigo's ability to flash step." he says reaching out and grabbing the white wrapped woman from Yoruichi. "Never mind, I will do it myself."

"Uggggh, I'm never going to drink again." Ichigo says letting her body go limp, her long hair tumbling over her face to hang out in a orange curtain. "It's not worth it."

"Then why did you ask for help in the first place?" Yanking the sheet back, Yoruichi lets Ichigo's body hang suspended just a foot from the ground.

"F-Freedom!" her hands scramble to grab onto anything, but the room is totally empty but for the futon. "W-Why don't you have furniture! I-I miss my bed being off the floor!" She could at least hold onto a bed like that. Feeling her fingers slide over the futon she is suddenly lifted once again high up into the air. "T-That's too fast."

Byakuya has now obtained Ichigo.

"I have family responsibilities that I do not care to discuss with the likes of you."

Yoruichi snatches Ichigo away.

"Ho~? You mean they are finally forcing you to-"

"G-Guys... I-I'm not a yo-yo." She adds as her face turns green.

Byakuya retains Ichigo.

"That is my business."

"P-Put me down so I can die miserable and ALONE!" Ichigo yells out then feels her stomach lurch. "Oh crap..." clamping her hands over her mouth, her body gently settled on the futon. Finally! Just as she is about to crawl out of the room a finger is pointed at her. "Shit!"

"This isn't a girl anymore to just parade around innocently! Think about what having her in your own bedroom means!" Yoruichi says stomping at foot on the floor. "Does the phrase 'common law wife' mean anything to you?"

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!" Ichigo's eyes grow round as saucers. She suddenly sits up straight in the center of the bed and gathers the sheets around her body tighter. "I-I-I-I-I-I'm not in his room! I'm NEXT to it!"

"I do not need a lecture from a former noble who discarded her name." Byakuya says stepping in front of Ichigo and narrowing his eyes at the purple haired were-cat.

Ichigo listens to them both argue over her of all people. The whole scene is just unreal. "I'm gonna go and let you two work this out."

"Stay out of this, Ichigo!" They both says loudly.

"OI! I'm Ichigo! I don't stay out of anything!" she stands up pointing a finger at Byakuya. "If I'm causing trouble I will just go home!" She points at Yoruichi curling her fingers into a fist. " And you! Don't be thinking perverted things about Byakuya. He has been watching out for me for a long time! So just back off from him!" UGH! She over did it... turning purple she runs out of the room making a mad dash for the bathroom.

By the time she makes it back to the room Yoruichi is waiting in her doorway with a bag of clothes.

Yoruichi notices her looking around for Byakuya and decides to speak up, "Bya-boo went to take care of some stuff. He told me about your memory problems." Tossing the bag to Ichigo's feet she walks across the porch with her arms folded in front of her breast. "I'll get you flash stepping again, okay?"

"Thank you Yoruichi-san." she says quietly, leaning over she lifts the bag by the small string handles.

"Hey, don't be all tragic." Walking over to Ichigo, she puts a hand on her shoulder. "You'll make Byakuya worry."

"I'm such a burden to him."

"Never mind what I said." Yoruichi says regretting her words after hearing Byakuya explanation. "I was teasing. You stay with him, until he tells you to go. Promise me now?"

"Yeah...?" says answers wondering what made Yoruichi change her mind so easily.

~/~

With the golden heirloom necklace in place around his neck, Byakuya motions for the sparking white haori made of the finest materials to be draped over his shoulders. Another pointless meeting where the elders will question his commitment to the family. Honestly he would rather be teaching Ichigo to flash step. He can almost hear her squabbling voice in his ears.

"They are ready for you Byakuya-sama." His head butler Touji says with a bow.

Walking into the long hallway of seated elders he shuts his eyes to them. The branch families, and their spouses are lined up sitting on small red pillows their old faces drawn up looking so blankly deceptive. Underneath their complacent expressions is a loathing for him. What Byakuya wouldn't give to see a certain smiling face at the back of the room next to the place where he will sit. Since his grandfather was promoted to the zero squad he has been alone in a thick forest of predators. Many of them would like nothing more than for Byakuya to die spouse-less... heir-less and the family line fall to his Aunt Kumiko.

"Good morning, Byakuya-sama."

That is with the exception of this woman. His father's sister is a friendly face, her pleasant nature is like a lily among thorns. He wonders how she has remained so warm after so many years alone. "Good morning, aunt." That woman is proof kindness can still exist in his family, that the staleness of this place can not snuff out genuine affection.

Once he is seated on the large pink cushion in the front, the meeting begins with the senior Branch Leader Jirou.

"Today we have brought you here to address why you have _yet _to pick a spouse."

"I will answer." he says opening his eyes to stare back at the two rows of vultures. _"Hopefully, Ichigo is having an easier time."_

~/~

"Come on Ichigo. Move your hips more!" Yoruichi says swaying to the fast tempo of the music blasting from her small portable radio.

"This is stupid! And why do I have to wear a skirt this short!" Ichigo tugs on the pleated red and black plaid skirt with a tiny hem of black lace just under it. At least her shirt is kinda normal... it's just a black blouse with a slightly low cut vee neck. "I don't see how this is going to help me!"

"Oh you are right. It's missing something." Yoruichi ties Ichigo's blouse into a tight bow just below her breasts to show off her midsection. "There! You are welcome."

"I'm going back to my room..."

"Go ahead and try." Yoruichi grabs Ichigo by the arm and gives her a wide smile.

"Tch, you think this will stop-" She tries to yank away from the powerful grip, but Yoruichi doesn't budge. Solid like a wall... a wall with a snarky smile that makes Ichigo want to bash in. "What the hell?"

"Your muscles are totally useless."

"Why?"

"You haven't used them in ten years." Yoruichi presses two fingers to Ichigo chest knocking her backwards and into a wall. Dust and debris, crumbling stones fly up in the air as the two finally start to get serious. Through the dirt comes an arm and a set of amber eyes filled with anger.

"I am going to kick your ass."

"Come on then. HAHAHA!" It's always so fun when Ichigo gets that look on her face. Who knows by the time Byakuya comes for Ichigo, she might even remember some of the training Yoruichi taught her before she became captain. That would be very useful for Ichigo in the coming days.

~/~

A brisk cold breeze blows at Byakuya's captains haori as he finally makes his way towards the private practice grounds of the Kuchiki compound to collect Ichigo for dinner. It's quite cold today but he doesn't mind. The frosty temperature on his skin is pleasant compared to the hectic day. First there was the were-cat, then the elders with a file of acceptable wives, and finally he went over to his division to check on Renji's progress of the monthly report only to discover Abarai was only halfway finished.

Intending to be back hours ago he steps through the patch of trees and enters the secluded arena. The wide circular practice ring is empty and he turns around to leave slightly disappointed he didn't get to walk Ichigo back to the main house. Just as he is about to shut the gate the faint sound of music and a familiar voice yelping causes him to search for Ichigo and Yoruichi's reiatsu. _"Such a noisy woman." _

Walking in the direction of the music he finds himself at the dojo. Quietly making his way up the steps he slides open the door with a hand and steps inside closing the door behind him. Loud pop music is blaring and Byakuya's eye blink in shock at the scene. Yoruichi lounging on a giant pillow on her belly with a magazine in her hands and a small whip.

There in the center of the sparing room is Ichigo wearing something totally indecent. Shihoin's influence no doubt. The music lifts into a faster beat and Ichigo hips begin to move the skirt up as she dances with her arms up in the air.

Byakuya instantly hides in the small foyer entrance behind a wall._"L-Legs... she is exposing those long shapely legs." _

Smooth and tan, her legs move to the beat occasionally stopping to try and complain but Yoruichi nonchalantly cracks the whip in her hand. "I'm in charge of you now! No breaks allowed. HAHAHA!"

"Bitch!" Ichigo whirls around in step to the music with a furious look on her face. But she wants to be strong again. This weak shit is old. Again the music rises and she moves her body to the beat pushing her tired limbs into exhaustion. _"Just a little more. I can't let Byakuya be worried about me. I have to be the strong person who earned his friendship!" _

"Hurry up and wear yourself out so Bya-Boo can restore your reiatsu."

"Then I get Zangetsu back, right?"

"Of course!" Yoruichi cracks the whip near Ichigo's feet to hear her squeal. Ichigo really is an endless source of fun. "Now do the end I taught you!"

"Gaaaah! " she yells holding up her hands near her ears. "I actually miss Urahara trying to kill me. Pyon..."

"_What is Ichigo do-" _Byakuya's eye widen in shock. Her orange braids lifting in the air, the cute skirt sways with each tiny jump. _"P-P-yon? She's a bunny? Her hands are bunny ears. She is so-"_

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

"You bitch! You promised not to laugh!" she yells shaking her fist in the air.

"Oh, but Ichigo. You are so cute! I wish Bya-boo could see you no-" A thump from somewhere close makes Yoruichi grow quiet. Her yellow eyes look right then left. "Ichigo..." she whispers gesturing with her finger for the younger woman to walk toward her. "When I tell you to go. You run fast as you can through the forest and into the main house. Don't stop until you are surrounded by people."

"Huh?"

"Do you understand?" Yoruichi nods her head towards the window on her right. Whoever it is masks themselves perfectly. That's something Yoruichi doesn't take lightly. However, once she grabs an enemy she won't let them go after Ichigo. _"Bya-Boo... I won't let anything happen to her."_

"Okay."

The wood of the old building seems to moan out a warning of hidden danger around it's protective walls. Closing her eyes to focus on sensing something, anything from creeping up on her, Ichigo sweats at the vast blankness. Without her reiatsu nothing seems to crackle or spark, it's just like she isn't there. Nothing is there to feel her, to acknowledge her existance. _"I hate feeling this way. I really despise this helplessness!"_

Fear begins to slither it's way around her ankles and up her legs, continuing to strangle tighter and tighter as it moves up her waist aiming for her throat. "C-Can't breathe." She lifts her shaking hands up to her face, the trembling thickening into a deep quake inside her body. _"What... is this? This is fear? Yes, I'm afraid. I'm afraid. I'M AFRAID!" _

"Go!" Yoruichi flash steps toward the right side wall and punches at it with her fist. The wood gives easily and she slips outside.

Ichigo runs to the window and dives out hitting the ground in a ungraceful thud, her legs giving out as she hits the ground to land on her backside. "Ouch..." Scrambling to her feet she begins to run without looking back, her long braids lifting in a bold orange streak. The pounding she hears, is it someone chasing her? Or is it her heart strumming out a loud plea for help? Her asking for help. It's a joke, right? Not like she has before, but if she did... who? The face appears easily, raven dark hair and smooth perfect skin, the scarf, and proud expression. Yes, he would be the one to help. He is her friend now, it's not wrong to lean on your friends when you need too.

"_Find him... find Byakuya." _Are the only thoughts now in her head. Faster she runs, picking up speed as she hears the building behind her explode. What the fuck is happening! "B-Byakuya..." her lips move, the sound coming out a mere whisper of what her heart will allow. "Byakuya..."

Shaking her head she stumbles out of the treeline heading for the manor. The tree branches start to rustle and Ichigo's panic reaches her throat. Someone is there. If someone is there does that mean Yoruichi-san is... No... she gathers the last bit of strength in her legs and turns back around. Running through the forest she hops over fallen trees covered in a thick layer of moss, her feet becoming faster and lighter.

"I see you..." Comes an eerie female voice whispering in her right ear. "I will take them one at a time."

Her feet freeze, a body is laying at the bottom of a huge oak tree covered in a black shroud.

"Who the hell are you!" Her feet leave the ground and she lands next to the body laying on the massive base of the old tree. With a trembling hand she reaches out to touch the black material. It's slides back easily, exposing shoulder length messy orange hair, and the face... the tan skin... it impossible.

"That's right... you are dead Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Byakuya, I need you!" she manages to yell just as her vision blurs. Darkness comes for her and she tilts toward the ground. Fingers curl around her, hands touching, arms wrapping her up against a strong chest. "G-Get away from me!"

"I'm here, Ichigo." Byakuya says looking down at the body with her face, but it's a face of death. "Don't look at that." Gently covering her eyes with a palm he feels the hot wet tears streaming down her cheek. "I should have told you sooner. I just didn't want to see... this."

"I died when you are everyone else gave me my shinigami powers back? It was... too much for my human body." she whispers holding a hand up to her face to touch Byakuya's warm hand shielding her eyes. "Don't hide the truth from me." Pushing his hand from her eyes she stares at the body on the ground as it dissolves. "She said that more people will die. I'm going to get my strength back and protect what is mine."

"As will I." he tells her feeling Ichigo turn to look up at his face. It's too late to stop the process of meeting her halfway. He spent years regretting turning and running from her like some coward. This is his choice, letting her in. The parts of her he admires the most rise up shimmering in the iridescence of her amber eyes. "Do not hide your pain from me. I can take it."

"_My pain... He can take it?" _Yes, she believes he can. If anyone one can understand it's this man. He has become so much more than she thought possible in the few days she has known the real him. Byakuya Kuchiki who has carried so much throughout his life, become a captain, buried a wife, and found a sister. Even becoming her friend. "Y-You know what it's like... to not want anything for yourself. But to live for others. Don't you, Byakuya?"

"Yes."

"What do I do?" she asks, her chin quivers in pain the fingers gripping his arms turn white as she hold back the pressure of her grief.

"Cry and let me hold you."

To her surprise he doesn't mind the undignified tears and the weeping of her voice. He pulls her so close she can smell his skin and feel his heart beating. Through her tears and ugliness she shuts her eyes and takes comfort in him. "T-Tomorrow I won't cry... Tomorrow I'm going to get stronger. You just watch me, Byakuya."

"Yes, Ichigo." he says softly, and time begins to turn again for Byakuya. "I will."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Hey all! I hope you like the chapter! I know you must have questions. I will answer them slowly, ok? This was a challenging chapter. Dun worry i will tell more about the enemy and what happened to Yoruichi-san^^ Several people seem anxious about Ichigo's boyfriend. Dont' worry you aren't confused! I'm making him a mystery =) HUGS and Please review! I have the next chapter planned out and I'm so ready to write it! It's going to be good! Love Fuzzi<em>**


	6. Luminescence

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

I've left Bethlehem  
>and I feel free...<br>I've left the girl I was supposed to be  
>and some day I'll be born.<br>~Paula Cole_** 'Tiger'**_

_**Antebellum**_

"You were supposed to kill Yoruichi!" he spits out a line of insults at the woman standing in the doorway. "I should have just done it myself."

"Forgi-"

"Get out! Everyone! Get out of here!" Curling his hand into a fist he strikes the picture of Ichigo's family sitting on his desk tucked inside a file folder. She has to pay. Make her lose everything! That is what it'll take. He will line up all those she treasures and show her their dead bodies. Then she will know real despair, real pain. Only that will satisfy him. "How dare she hide behind that Kuchiki bastard. It won't stop me. I can even get to him if I must. Let's see how long he will keep her if I threaten his beloved sister."

_**Chapter 6; Luminescence**_

After the chaos of the evening Ichigo sits in a hot bath wondering what she could have to make the caped person so angry.

"_I will take them one at a time..."_

The menacing voice wasn't lying, someone certainly wants her dead. Which actually isn't saying much... lots of people have tried to kill her judging by her own memories and Byakuya's journals. "I've never wanted to kill anyone though." Slipping further into the soothing water she listens to the feet running across the floor on the porch outside. "I just... want to go home."

~/~

The small clock on Byakuya's desk chimes out the beginning of the hour just as the door to his office opens and Yoruichi strolls inside.

"Nice place." she says with a whistle dropping on the chaise with the large blue pillows. "Where's Ichigo?"

"She is in the bath." Rising from his chair he silently walks to the stairs and watches that woman sprawling out on his furniture. "Did you notice?"

"Yup. You were perving on Ichigo before the intruder showed up." Popping up from her back she sits cross-legged on the soft red fabric. "Did you like the outfit?"

Instantly his mind pictures Ichigo hoping in that enticing little skirt with her hands making adorable bunny ears. "No." Shutting his eyes to it he glides down he steps with a frown. "I did not. She is a Captain and should not wear anything that might expose her to ridicule."

"HA! You mean exposing her tummy." Swirling a finger in the air she points at Byakuya's face. "Bya-Boo likes Ichi's tummy~. Tummy, tummy, tummy."

Clearing his throat he decide to ignore her attempt to get under his skin. "The other night, the hollow inside Ichigo told me something. That _he_ was a false god. He is a lie. He meaning a male." he brushes past the sofa and toward the office door. "Ichigo saw a woman today."

"And I was following a male and two others in capes."

"There are at least three attackers." Byakuya says with a frown.

"Well, that could refer to a shinigami; A Death God, not God but 'god's' over death."

"I think it means something more." he says opening the door. "I will look into it further in the morning. Can I trust you will begin _proper_ training tomorrow?"

"Tch, Ichigo only responds to teasing or chasing her around and trying to kill her. Being all nice isn't going to make her reconnect with her abilities so you can restore her reiatsu."

It's out of the question for Byakuya to do either of those so he again decides to stay quiet."..."

"Yeah, yeah... I swear and all that." Yoruichi rises from her soft perch and walks to the door leaning a foot on the frame. "Soooo?"

"Yes?"

"When you gonna kiss her? And love her? And... ma-"

"Good night." he growls pointing a finger out the door. Insufferable woman. Why her? Why did Urahara Kisuke inflict this woman on him? She is correct about one thing, well two actually. Ichigo does respond to teasing or death threats, and more importantly he does want to kiss her. Badly...

"Awe~! Bya-Boo is so cute!"

~/~

The evening is quiet, all the activity in the house is now calm and serene as Ichigo gently slides open the door to Byakuya's personal study. She waited so patiently for sounds of him in the room next to hers only to get up and follow the traces of his tempered reiatsu here. Peeking a brown eye through the cracked door she finds him laying on one of the red chaise with his elbow bent draping an arm over his face, his regular uniform replaced by a lose pair of soft white pajama pants and a lose fitting white wrap around shirt. _"I should leave him to rest." _Ichigo thinks to herself about to turn and go back to her room when a small file in his hand drops to the blue carpet near the sofa's cherry colored legs. Pages scatter and Ichigo decides to step inside and collect them. Creeping quietly over the thick carpet she picks up the fallen paperwork gathering them in a stack and starts to slide them back inside the file folder when she glances down at the petite red headed woman pictured on the page. Giving the sheet a quick read she moves to the next page finding another woman, and another. _"Why does he have pages of women? Is this some kind of special Soul Society Playboy magazine?" _Wrinkling up her face she shakes her head deciding that is impossible. The photo's only show the faces. Besides... this is Byakuya we are talking about. He just doesn't seem the type to perv on women.

Sitting on the carpet, just in front of the chaise she scans pages of information on the delicate looking women. To the right of each photo is a list of family assets, and weaknesses. Included near the bottom is a few paragraphs of personal info on each female's personality with pro's and con's. Three pages have stars. Something about this is giving Ichigo a tight feeling in her stomach.

"They are very pretty." she whispers staring at the top three with the shiny silver stars on their pages. Turning her head to the left she looks over her shoulder at him. Being so close to him the past few days it dawns on her how large Byakuya is. Long legs, torso and his arms... Yes those arms curled around her so easily. He swallowed her up in those strong arms. _"What is it about you that feels so close to me?"_

Something is so familiar about her sitting here and him laying just behind her sleeping. _"Have we done this before?" _Pushing out a breath, she clamps her eyes shut as tries to force up from her belly, a memory, a moment, anything to explain why she wants to linger next to him.

"_I **will** kill Kuchiki." _A familiar voice echoes in her mind, familiar and deadly in the darkness._"Don't get in my way, Ichigo!" _ No image appears despite the malice in his voice. She can't see it. It feels so far away from her. Ages ago in fact, and she can sense the killing intent from the deep sound of the man in her ears.

"_No, I can't let you do that." _Her own voice screams into the blankness. _"It won't make you feel better!"_

"_I'll let ya know after I rip his head off and the rest of his family. So he knows what it feels like to lose his precious pride."_

"_Wait!" _Her arm lifts up, her fingers splaying out into the nothingness. "Please don't hurt Byakuya! I-"

"Ichigo?" Byakuya's eyes open to a hand reaching out towards him. On reflex he wraps his fingers around her wrist quickly looking around the room for an intruder. Sensing no one but the two of them his gaze flicks down to her panicked face. "What is wrong? What happened?"

"I think I..." But she can't bring herself to tell him what is on her mind. She promised just a few hours ago she wouldn't fall apart, she would be strong and he would stand nearby to watch. "It's nothing. I am sorry I woke you." Ichigo says giving him a smile.

"You are smiling with your eyes filling with tears."

"I am?" Her free hand slides down her face the shock of the whole scene making her feel like he has said this before.

"_How about it Captain Kuchiki, Friends?"_

"_You are smiling with your eyes filling with tears. I could not possibly decline."_

"_Whoa! Does that mean yes? Byakuya? Byakuya...?Oh, he left. Figures... Byakuya is my friend."_

Reaching down in his pocket he pulls out a handkerchief. "Tell me what has upset you." He demands pressing the cloth to her right cheek. "Did you remember somethi-"

"I-I..." Tilting her eyes to the carpet she sees the scattered papers and takes a step back slipping her wrist out of his grasp. "Nope, not really! So what is all this?" Desperate to change the subject, she lifts up a paper with a star and points at it.

"These are noble or high ranking women my family deems worthy candidates to be my wife." he coolly replies, the words bitterly stinging his tongue. How he resents his family for meddling in his life. "I will choose one."

"Oh." her voice comes out in a low whisper. Turning the paper in her hand, she stares at the elegant looking woman with large blue eyes and long black hair with curiosity. "That can't be easy, they all look so perfect."

"Not at all." Byakuya tell her gesturing for her to sit on the chaise next him. "This one..." he picks the papers up and hands her the top page. "She has a reputation for being a kleptomaniac. Last year at the Wisteria festival she tried to steal someone's husband."

"No..." Ichigo laughs sarcastic. "What about this one? She is a brunette."

"Ah, that is one of Vice Captain Omeada's sisters."

"What?" she does a double take blinking at the page in shock. "How did she turn out so pretty?"

"I have no idea. I was surprised too." This is nice, almost like the past years are wiped away and they are back to being what they were before. Accept for when he broke her heart and pushed her away. Byakuya watches her as she lifts picture after picture up asking him questions about the potential wives. She is so oblivious to just how lovely she looks in that pale lavender yukata. The questions keep pouring out of her and despite the lateness of the evening he covets this moment with her. Can he get her heart back? Can he win her over once again? Flicking his eyes over to the fallen folder that held the files he nonchalantly picks it up from the carpet noticing a single page stuck to the inside by a small gold star he pressed to the page earlier.

"So any of them catch your eye?" Grinning wide she lifts a page holding it next to his face. "Hmm, not a red head. You work with one all day. No way you are going to want to come home to one."

He blinks with a blank expression for a moment then hears her laugh. "Agreed." he chuckles, only to watch her hold up another woman near his face. "What are you doing?"

"Seeing how you two look next to each other." Ichigo says tilting her head. "This one is very pretty."

"Which is she?"

"Suzu Hoshino. She is a Kuchiki kind of beautiful."

"What is a Kuchiki kind of beautiful?" He asks holding the brown file in his hand closed so Ichigo can't see inside.

"Golden blonde, small features, pale blue eyes, too busy being all perfect to notice her voice is annoying. I'll draw your bath, Byakuya-sama~" Ichigo waves the paper around next to his head while talking in a high pitched voice. "Would you like some tea, Byakuya-sama?"

"..."

Oh he looks annoyed. "I um... don't know where that came from." she adds stacking up the papers in his lap."So any of them catch your eye?"

"Only one woman is capable of drawing my interest." Byakuya says rather flatly, the whole idea of being forced into remarrying is frustrating. But if he doesn't his aunt will be in danger, that is unacceptable.

"Ooooh, it's one of the three silver stars, right?" Paper rustles as she thumbs through page after page unaware she is leaning over him just enough to make her hair tickle his cheek. "Which one? It's Hoshino-san, right?"

"The silver stars are my family's choices." Rising from the seat he walks around her and up the stairs of his library to his desk. Setting the file containing a single page inside his desk the right side of his cheek perks watching her train after him with an armful of papers. "The gold star is my choice."

"Gold? I didn't see one with..." Her eyes instantly flick to the drawer hearing it lock. "Let me seeeeeeee! Oh, come on, come on, come on!" Circling around him she tries to pull open the compartment only to narrow her eyes at Byakuya's hand keeping it shut. "I..." she grunts putting a foot on his desk for leverage. "gotta.." Yanking hard as possible, her foot starts to slide in her house shoe. "see who she is!"

"No."

"I'm not going to quit!" Ichigo grits her teeth preparing to give the drawer a hard pull when cool fingers slip into her hair tugging back her bangs. "W-What are you doing?"

"Admiring your orange hair." Byakuya whispers leaning in for a closer look. "It's very soft tonight."

"I um... washed it a little while ago." What's this... this nervous feeling. Tall, he is looming over her, and his white shirt is lose enough to show a bit of his chest, and what the hell is up with Byakuya t-t-touching her hair in this... _this_ way. "It's in the way-" Her lips shut, every nerve in her body tingles feeling him bring a lock up to his nose.

"Orchids. Am I correct?"

"Umm... 'kay?" She has no clue what her hair smells like, her mind is totally freezing up. Actually, she feels warm right now... "I'm really... hot." she whispers wide eyed and confused.

"Then you should braid it. Like you had earlier." he adds drinking in the emotions flickering across her face. Confusion, embarrassment, interest. Interest, that one is incredible. _"Her eyes hide a touch of gold in them."_

"I don't know how to braid."

Close enough to touch her chin with his fingers, he struggles to resist sliding his finger over her lower lip just to feel and see her reaction.

"_Then you better make it a good one." _The faint memory of their first kiss comes back to him, the urge to finally experience the second one is almost irresistible. Unlike most people, Byakuya has always believed the second kiss is the sweetest. Because in the second, you are both ready for it. You see it coming and the feeling of that first kiss flashes in your mind so brilliantly strong you mold into each other so anxious it puts the first shy kiss to shame. It's possible to walk away from someone after one kiss, but not after the next one. The second kiss is where the real magic happens, it's when you taste passion for the first time.

"Yoruichi-san, braided it for me."

The mention of the were-cat's name breaks his attention and he puts a hand on her shoulder. "You should rest. That woman will appear early in the morning for your training."

"Alright." Reluctantly she steps back swiping a hand down her face. "I am tired." Wondering back downstairs to the door she looks up at his dark-haired frame feeling a little sad that she cant' stay nearby a little longer. "You sleep too, okay, Byakuya?" Ichigo adds with a hint of worry in her voice.

"I will."

"Good night."

"Good night, Ichigo."

Just as she starts the leave her head pops back through the door. "Oh, and I'm Ichigo, I never give up! I'm going to find out who she is!"

"Feel free to try."

* * *

><p>Hey all sorry this is a little later than I planned. I agonized over the chapter Plus I've been rather busy lately. hehe^^ I want to say thanks to all the reviewers it means so much to me. As long as I get reviews I will always make time to write for you!I wanted the chapter to have a fun feel to it. I hope it's okay and made you smile^^ HUGS YOU ALL Fuzzi<p> 


	7. Incandescence

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

**This chapter goes out to EmpressHimiko. I hope you are staying warm. =D Fuzzi**

_**Antebellum**_

_**"She felt suddenly as if nothing existed beyond that circle, and she wondered at the joyous, proud comfort to be found in a sense of the finite, in the knowledge that the field of one's concern lay within the realm of one's sight." -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged**_

_**Chapter 7; Incandescence**_

"_Why are you crying, Ichigo?"_

"_I-I don't have any words that will make it better, Byakuya." Her fingers curl into her her back hakama pants wiping away the sweat on her palms. How could this happen to him? What did he do to deserve this?_

"_I do not require comforting." Byakuya says slowly lifting a hand up and gently touching her right shoulder. The trembling under his fingers keeps him there, lingering near her. Like the land shifting to touch the sea he suffers dreams of knowing her in a sweeter way. "Being my friend is enough."_

"_I'm your friend... always. But I'm going to be angry for you. Very angry."_

"_Let it go."_

"_That is something I can not do." she says taking a step towards the manor exit feeling his fingertips slipping from her shoulder. "I'm going to find who did this."_

People start changing from the moment they are born and continue until the day they die. The change varies in importance. You change your clothes, your perfume, and if you are lucky even your mind. But physical change is slow, spread out over a lifetime of experiences. Our mind and intelligence grows at the same time. That is what we call maturing.

What happens when you are fifteen and just trying to protect your friends and the next day you wake up and suddenly are an adult?

However, as Ichigo stares at her reflection in the lake just outside her room in the dim red lamp lights of predawn she can't process the changes in her body. "It's like I'm a different person." she says tossing a stone into the lake and watching the ripples disturb her reflection.

"It only seems huge because you were sleeping." Yoruichi says appearing from around the corner of a building. "Good morning, Ichigo."

"Yoruichi-san..." Ichigo looks up at her with a muted sadness. "It's like I'm not me."

"So your hair has a little gold in it now." she replies walking toward her with a backpack tossed over her shoulder. "You are taller, curvaceous around your hips and thighs, your breasts are fuller, womanly. Growing up means changing."

"While I was sleeping..." her fingers curl into a fist. "I feel like I missed everything."

"The emptiness you feel inside is the experiences you lack." Yoruichi puts her hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "You missed some of the pain of growing up. You know, Ichigo with a little time you might remember."

"It's like I'm that fairy tale character who wakes up after a curse was put on her."

"The one where true love's first kiss wakes up the princess?" Her arms circle Ichigo and she tickles her sides. "Who do you want to kiss you?"

"N-N-No one!" Ichigo begins to squirm still in her night clothes. The white top and matching bottom pant suit hugs her shapely body. "Stop it!"

"How about Bya-Boo? He'll kiss you good!"

"_Rukia will be here in sixty seconds."_

"_Then you better make it a good one."_

"I doubt it." she mutter holding a hand to her forehead and touching the small scar itched into her skin. The voices... why does it seem like her and Byakuya? What about the feelings she senses there? Unsure and warm. So warm. Growing still Ichigo is released to stand on the porch. "Not when he has Miss Gold Star to kiss on." she grumbles folding her arms in front of her chest.

"Miss who?"

"Oh, it's nothing." she says shrugging her shoulders and trying to look indifferent. But her irritation wins over and she speaks up. "Evidently, Byakuya is under pressure from his family to get remarried and he has a first choice." Turning to walk inside her room she frowns and grumbles again. "I'm dying to know who she is."

Her large yellow eyes suddenly sparkle with interest. "Ho?" The possibly of messing with Bya-Boo begins to echo through her veins. "Why not ask?"

"I did! He isn't telling. But, he has a file in a _locked _desk drawer with a gold star on it."

"Ahhh, _Miss Gold Star_."

"Only one woman is capable of drawing my interest." Ichigo says in a deep mocking tone.

"He said that?"

"He is so irritating! Why can't I see his dream girl? It's jaw-dropping that he actually has one."

"Ichigo..." Tossing the bag on her shoulder to Ichigo's arms she quietly shuts the door to let her change. "We have a long day ahead of us." The Kuchiki family has finally gotten around to forcing Byakuya to choose a new wife. She knew it wouldn't take them long. But what does this mean for Ichigo? Her presence in the Main House will no doubt raise some eyebrows. _"Bya-Boo, what are you planning? Won't the family see Ichigo as a threat?" _Shaking her head she tries to understand Byakuya's motives but he is still a mystery to her. What is he thinking?

~/~

With his morning ritual complete Byakuya slides open the door between his and Ichigo's room eager to finally wake her up. "Ichi-" His eyes narrow at the empty futon. "Shihoin Yoruichi..." his lips tilt in a frown at the neatly made bed without a woman tucked inside. There should be a girl in there waiting for him to watch her eye lid lift open and focus on him.

Utterly defeated he looks around the large empty room and decides he knows what to do with his Sunday. _"A change is needed." _ Leaving the room behind, the dark-haired noble sets out to find Rukia. His sister will be able to assist him int his particular mission.

Change can give birth to new feelings, and Byakuya is counting on it... more than anything. _"Ichigo..."_

~/~

The break for lunch is a welcomed breather. Ichigo finds herself wondering the compound searching past the many buildings with a veiled interest. Living here for ten years seems unbelievable. Taking a long gulp of cold water from the round wooden cup in her hand she turns right walking between two older looking buildings towards a steep hill with a set of stone steps carved into the earth. "Hmm, what's up there?"

In lazy unmotivated steps Ichigo's sandals scratch the steps as the wind blows at her long pony tail. Despite the cooling air she actually finds the breeze refreshing after spending the entire morning in a sweaty workout with Yoruichi-san.

Within a few minuties she reaches high enough for the top of the hill to come into view. There in a large arena is Byakuya Kuchiki with a large bow pulled back his face still in concentration as he fires an arrow across the open space and hitting a black target in it's center.

Intrigued she lingers at the top of the steps watching him pull another arrow from a brown leather quiver on his back with two fingers. Amazed she gapes at him looking for refined and graceful releasing arrow after arrow into the target. _"I didn't know he could do that." _He looks the part, in the traditional Kyujutsu clothing, his wide stance and expression so calmly masculine. _"He is looks so impressive. His manner, the tone of his voice_

The arrow once placed into the large bow point to the black dot already holding numerous shots. Byakuya's body suddenly turns toward Ichigo.

Stupefied she stands still as an arrow whistles past her. "What are you doing?" she says with a smirk as he reaches for another arrow. He is bluffing. He wouldn't-

"I am going to kill you." he tells her in an icy tone. "I would attempt to dodge this, if possible for someone like you." And his fingers release the next shot.

It streaks by her right cheek close enough the draw a thin line of blood. Ichigo's eyes widen is surprise, his arm is already drawing back the next arrow. Fast... he is fast. On reflex her hand goes up to her sword, but it's not there. Zangetsu isn't hers until she can gather enough reiatsu back to flash step. "D-Damn."

"Over there." Byakuya says, nodding towards the single wooden blade laying on a white cloth setting on the entryway to the building on his right.

Narrowing her brown eyes she darts to the right heading to the blade while arrows punch into the ground just behind her in a trail. She should be afraid, terrified that the next arrow is going to cut into her. But she has fought Byakuya before, she knows what he is capable of. If he were serious, she would already be on the ground in a puddle of blood. Every action he has made towards her in the past few days has been for her benefit. Three more steps and her hand reaches out to the wooden practice sword, her fingers splaying wide as the sounds of an arrow homing in on her echo in her ear. Her body drops and rolls, her arm moving out so her fingers coil around the cool wood of the sword. "Ha!" she says lifting up the sword as the arrow lodges in the wood with a crack. "He aimed for my heart." she mutters with the blade in front of her chest. _"I know, Byakuya..."_

"I suggest you start flash stepping or you are going to get hurt." he replies pulling out another arrow from his quiver.

"_You know me..."_ Lifting an eyebrow Ichigo's lips widen into a smile. "I would hate to disappoint you, Byakuya." This is what she needs and he understands it perfectly. Not that Yoruichi-san's training isn't enough, but there is something between her and Byakuya. Almost as if the same desires unfold and bind their hearts.

"Then fight."

"Yush!" she answers, raising up a hand and snapping off the arrow in the wooden sword. _"It's unshakable... when I look at him, I see something in his eyes. Whatever it is... I can't let it go."_

Arrows begin to come at her in rapid succession, each time she barely manages to twist her body in time to avoid them. The weather and cool breeze lapping at her neck and hair are pushed to the back of her mind, only the practice area and Byakuya permeate her senses. Her thigh muscles begin to scream as she moves the wooden blade in a wide arc to block the next shot.

But she loses sight of him, only the faint puff of dust and the vacant footprints of where he stood are left in his wake. Narrowing her eyes, Ichigo looks left and right trying to notice his reiatsu. _"He knows me... but I know him too!" _Instinct rises in her blood, the incredible feeling of her heart pounding in her ears makes her stir. Ichigo pivots her foot, turning around in time to listen to the bow crackling out another arrow. This one is fast, it's target deadly accurate.

Byakuya's fingers release the arrow, he watches stoically while inside he is simmering with determination. She has to do it now, or she is going to be terribly wounded. This stunningly beautiful woman is going to take that arrow in her chest if she doesn't flash step. "Now, Ichigo!" he yells out with his fingers clinching the bow, ready to flash step and grab her if it hits her. _"Move... You have to move."_

His voice cuts deeply, expanding, echoing inside her mind as her eyes connect with his. The ashen blue abyss of his eyes becomes brighter and brighter as his reiatsu expands shrouding him in pale blue light.

In a blast of suffocating force her body lurches, her vision blurring out of focus as the arrow comes within an arms reach. Power, gathers around her body. In a subtle shift she senses the familiar, the constant, the one thing she must grasp and hold tight to swirling deep inside her soul. Reiatsu. Her hand extends in front of her, her palm facing out with her fingers spread wide.

Time pauses around Byakuya. the string gathering her vibrant locks snaps, feathery light tendrils of her orange hair rise up. This Ichigo, is stunning, the fighter, the shinigami, the woman he chose for his own. In a monochromatic burst of black energy he watches her old shinigami robes begin to burn like thin flames lifting in tendrils from her collar, her wrists, and the hem of her hakama pants. Those brilliant amber eyes of hers shine in pale blue orbs reminding Byakuya of her resolve. "It's time..." he whispers, watching the power of her reiatsu burn away the arrow as it reaches her chest. From his haori he pulls a dark red cloth with cold steel tucked safely inside. For the past ten years he has kept it within reach and now, "Return." Tossing the cloth in the air the silver hilt glints in the sun as the fabric slips away, the short chain lifting towards the woman on instinct. "Protect her once again."

In a zipping motion the hilt whistle's through the air to her palm.

"_Ichigo, has my voice finally reached you?"_

"_Old man Zangetsu..." _Her reiatsu responds to Byakuya's, the tiny bubble inside her stretches out and grows larger and larger. _"I hear you..." _Gripping the cold steel in her hand she extends her arm behind her and feels the power streaking down and into the hilt. _"Zangetsu..." _

"_I've missed you, Ichigo."_

Byakuya barely has time to put up a barrier before the force of her reiatsu arcs from the hilt in a mass of black destruction. The building past him splinters into pieces of debris, but he is preoccupied with Ichigo. Blackness starts to surround Byakuya, his barrier crumbling away. "The reiatsu of a true shinigami..." he whispers, forcing more power out to remain standing. Was this what Aizen saw? Did he feel this incredible power coming from her? Byakuya lips move as the massive storm of her reiatsu creates a tall black to the skyline, the sounds of his words lost in the deafening rumble.

"ICHIGO! Pull back your reiatsu!" Yoruichi screams darting onto the scene with her large cat eyes round in shock. "Pull it back into Zangetsu!"

"Huh?" Ichigo's eyes suddenly focus on Byakuya's unusual expression. _"He looks almost..." _

"You fool! Not everyone can withstand this spiritual pressure!"

"S-Sorry!" she says, coming out of her trance. Instantly her blade and clothes solidify. Turning Zangetsu's blade toward her she knit's her brows together in confusion. "What the hell! Zangetsu?"

"This blade, is the blade of a shinigami." Byakuya says, holding out a hand to the shikai he first saw years ago when Ichigo was given reiastu from all the captain's of the Gotei. It didn't escape his notice then, that it took thirteen powerful captains, and friends to fill the void in her. "If you had been born, and raised in Soul Society. This is what your power would have matured into."

It's the same feeling. Zangetsu is here so close and she can touch him again. Running a hand down the black and white blade she marvels at the slight differences. "It's shorter, but wider... and the tip... it's crescent shaped?"

"A fine blade." Byakuya tells her, his eyes full of the remarkable way her long hair against the black of her reformed uniform gives her a refined look. "Cutting Moon."

Then she notices the hilt is longer, and instead of a simple white strap there is a short chain dangling from the end. "The chain..." she whispers letting her voice trail away recalling the parts of the journal where she battled Aizen. "I guess it was longer with the Final Getsuga."

"Don't let the changes overwhelm you." Byakuya walks towards the steps and exhales a sigh. At least she isn't powerless now. _"I worry for you. But it's a little less now." _If the attackers come for her now, they will be hard pressed with a capable fighter. _"Ichigo... things that are the result of hard work and determination can never be taken from you." _

"WHAT THE HELL!" Ichigo screams staring at the long black marks running up her hand. "I GOT A TATTOO!"

Change can creep up on us when we least expect it. Like a noble numb by laws and expectation challenged by the impossibly of a human girl fighting on equal terms with him, or that human girl crying out on the inside for the power to protect what is precious to her. Neither really planned for their worlds to connect, but they did stirring the miracle called change.

And again change arrives for them... All that is left is to make a choice. Let the change strike you down or...

"Deal with it quieter." Byakuya turns to give her a stern warning. "And do not be late for dinner."

You can just shut the fuck up and deal with it.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hey all~! Whew this was hard. So hard! I was tempted to end it with a fluffy scene but It would have to put off the update for another day... and I'm kind happy with this the way it is. I apologize for my action scene. I did the best I could. Please dont' be too hard on me~! As you can see I'm a nervous wreak about it. Please review me some support! HUGS YOU ALL Fuzzi<strong>_


	8. Synchronicity

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Antebellum**_

一緒に数えてくれるかい_**  
><strong>_君についた_**  
><strong>_僕の歯形を

**_"Growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness" ~Jean Vanier_**

_**Chapter 8; Synchronicity**_

"Did you know that the light is associated with goodness, and purity?" he asks rising from a chair with his hands stuffed in his pockets and walking toward the short dark-haired shinigami brought before him. "But the dark is considered evil. I was terrified of the dark as a boy. I would cry for a night light, open up curtains and shut my closet doors, do _anything_ to push away the shadows creeping up on me."

"You...?" Her violet eyes widen, her hand reaches for her blade only to find it missing. "But your..."

"You remember me now? How interesting." He neatly lands next to Rukia Kuchiki and pulls out his blade, the silvery white glinting in the dim light. "As an adult I learned not to fear the darkness, that it's just a tree outside my window. Logic told me there is no such thing as a monster in my closet." He stabs her through the chest, listening to the man in the shadows giggling in excitement. "But Rukia-chan... what happens when there is no tree near our windows, or late one night the monster in our closet snatches us away before we can even scream for help?"

Only capable of gurgling she drops to the floor feeling the wetness of her own blood seep into her black uniform. How can this person be acting so cruel? She thought-

"How do you explain the fear that shouldn't exist?" The man leans down to hover over the fallen woman, his thin long fingers lightly stroking her hair. "That's when I found the darkness inside Ichigo Kurosaki."

"B-Bastard, stay away from-"

"That _Black Getsuga_... fills me with such a fear." he draws in a deep breath and exhales slowly. "Her darkness is different than anything I've ever felt. The moment I felt it, I knew... "

"That... you're... crazy?" she groans desperately trying to force out a kidou for her hands.

"No." he drops to his knees in the center of her back listening to her bones snap. "She is like me, when I was little... before I embraced the shadows and I have to save her."

"S...ave Ichi...go?" Rukia sputters, blood filling her mouth choking out her breath.

"Yes. I'm going to make her accept the darkness inside her. So she isn't afraid anymore." Sliding another blade from it's sheathe he lifts up from Rukia and turns her over with a nudge of his foot. There splayed out before him is the sister of the man he despises more than any other. Oh he could kill her, but the he would not get to enjoy the anguish she will bring Kuchiki or the woman he loves. "Ichigo Kurosaki is going to be punished, and you are going to help me."

"_Punished? For what?" _Are Rukia's last thoughts before the cutting pain of his blade hits her chest.

~/~

"He tells me not to be late and he doesn't show up?" Ichigo grumbles pushing at the food on her plate fighting the disappointment of Byakuya's absence.

"Psst, Ichigo."

"Hmm?" Looking up from her rice bowl she sees Yoruichi leaning against the doorway with a wide grin. "Yoruichi-san?"

"Where is Byakuya?"

"Hmmm." Shutting her eyes she senses him in the compound, his reiatsu coming from the bathhouse she was in earlier. "I think he is having a bath."

"_Ichigo can sense Byakuya, even when his reiatsu is undetectable by me..."_ The dark-haired woman glances down at the flattering silver and blue sleeveless kimono Ichigo is wearing and gives out a whistle. "You look nice~."

"He left a note that I had to wear it and then he doesn't even show up to see me in it." Her lip pokes out in a frown her elbow pressing to the table. "He pisses me off." she groans, setting her chin in her palm.

"Forget about that." Yoruichi grabs Ichigo by the arm and drags her through the manor. Weaving through the buildings the two women dart into a building close to Byakuya's bedroom barely missing being seen by the head butler. "This is going to be fun." The cat-woman produces a thin metal pick between her fingers.

"W-What are we doing that is fun?" Ichigo whispers pressing her back to the wall as two servants walk past the end of the hallway they are hiding in.

"A little breaking and entering." she laughs covering her mouth enjoying the chance to mess with Byakuya and Ichigo at the same time. Hoho~! This is going to be great!

"This is his office. It's private!" Ichigo whispers loudly, folding her arms in front of her chest. "I want no part of it."

"Not even if you find out about..." Her yellow eyes shine as bright at her wide toothy smile, her fingers twirling the lock-pick anxious to get inside Byakuya's office. "Miss Gold Star?"

"Oooooh, you are evil." Ichigo lifts a fist in the air at Yoruichi's cackle. "Hurry up before he is finished in the bath!"

With lightening quick speed Yoruichi picks the lock on the door and slides open the door to Byakuya's study. "You said it's in the desk, right?"

"Y-Yeah..." Following her closely behind, she keeps looking back at the door expecting a tall man to appear with a disappointed glare on his face. It feels wrong to be here without his approval. He has let her into his home, and hasn't asked for anything. Unwilling to violate his trust she lingers downstairs near the two long red chaise he is fond of napping on. She really has found out so much about him the past few days. Surprising things, pleasant mannerisms and he is still the strong shinigami she fought. _"He is my best friend."_

"I got it!" Yoruichi waves the folder in the air. "Ok, Miss Gold Star let's see your face!"

"Great..." Ichigo mutters to ashamed to look up. Would he feel betrayed, if he found her here?

"Don't you want to know?"

"I'm not sure." Dropping to the soft cushion of the chaise she looks down at the fabric of her kimono with a frown. "I thought I did, but... I don't care about some rich princess." Just saying the words feel dirty to her. Who is she to deny him a person to share his life with? _"I had a fiancee before." _Her hands shake, she stares at her ring-less finger heavy with sadness. _"I'm sure he felt happy for me. I should be supportive! That is what friends do." _

That's right. A young woman will make him smile. His fingers will touch her hair. They can sleep on this chaise curled in each others arms. "I have to go." Darting up from the chaise she heads for the door, more confused about her feelings than before. _"Why am I upset? Why does it feel like my heart is breaking?"_

"Not so fast." Yoruichi flash steps in front of Ichigo holding up the file between them. "What is it, Ichigo?"

"It's none of my business who Byakuya marries."

"Oh, It's like _that_, is it?" Feeling put off Yoruichi opens the file to Ichigo's disapproval and the two women end up fighting over the small piece of paper. "You want to know as much as I do!" Yoruichi presses her foot on Ichigo's cheek holding her squirming body to the floor. "Admit it!"

"You bitch! Get off my face!" Ichigo growls wrapping her fingers around Yoruichi's ankle and yanking her off her feet and into the air. "I don't care!" Grabbing the paper she shoves it back in the folder and stomps toward the desk to put it back. "Byakuya deserves to be happy!"

"You are right." Flash stepping in front of Ichigo again, her feet touch down on the steps leading to the loft. "He does deserve to be happy." Folding her arms just below her breasts, she narrows her eyes in disgust. _"You make him happy, Ichigo." _ Realizing it's too soon for Ichigo to admit her feelings toward Byakuya, she exhales a long sigh. "_But you don't know that yet. Please notice soon... or he really will marry some other girl." _Snatching the file from Ichigo's hands she opens it and looks at the paper. "Her... really, Bya-Boo?"

"Who!" Leaning her head over Yoruichi's shoulder Ichigo reads the words on the paper. "Dear Losers, Try harder. B." Crinkling the paper up in her palm she stomps out of the room listening to Yoruichi's laughter. "ARGH!"

Typical. He knew all along they would try and find out about his choice. Looking left and then right she feels his reiatsu close by. "He is going to tease me... I know." she mutters and heads for her room to hide, no read. She is going to read! "I'm not afraid of him!"

"Good evening."

"GAH!" she jumps up in the air her arms flailing from Byakuya's unmistakably deep voice thundering from behind her. "B-Byakuya, how you?" Struggling to act nonchalant she leans an arm on the wall next to her only to knock over a large crystal vase of lilies. "Damn! I'm sorry!"

"Leave it. I have something to show you." Leading her towards the exit, he is anxious to show her what he was working on for most of the morning. "Here." Slipping a long white coat around her shoulders he opens the door and lets her follow just behind him in the brisk cold wind. He is nervous, it has been decades since he has tried to please a woman. But Rukia helped him pick out most of the things he was unsure of. Arriving at the smaller blue house they walk up the steps and enter to get out of the cold. "This is for you."

"What is for me?" Ichigo waits for the door external door to shut behind her before putting a hand on the door to the next room.

"Go on and see." Byakuya lingers near the doorway as she slide the partition open and steps inside.

"It's a bedroom?" she exhales a surprised gasp at the western style bed and furniture setting in the traditional Asian building. "You did this for me?"

"The entire building is fully furnished." he says opening another panel door to reveal a dining area and another to her right that leads to a bath. "I realize you can stay at the division, but I would..." He pauses reluctant to speak his thoughts when she turns toward him with her brows bent together. "Are you unhappy? Rukia told me you like white and lavender." Byakuya gestures to the lavender colored bedspread with a bit of worry he has picked out wrong colors.

"I love white and lavender." Her arms fold in front of her chest. "It's just... the cost must have been-"

"I want you to..." It's difficult to tell her what he wants, it's _her_ that he wants. _"I want you to feel at home... here with me, Ichigo." _This isn't going well. Is this the best Byakuya Kuchiki can do to express himself to a young attractive woman? Undignified and practically stuttering like a fool? "You will stay here from now on." He says a little too sharply before marching out in the cold winter snow. Terrible, he said it all wrong and sounded pissed at her.

"_Pathetic, Bya-Boo... get it together and try to make her see the good parts of your personality." _Is exactly what Shihoin Yoruichi would say if she witnessed that wretched display.

Taking solace in his room he finds a book and pushes everything out of his mind until a butterfly floats around his head.

The Hell's Butterfly flutters away from Byakuya's fingertip after bringing him disappointing news. Ukitake hasn't seen his sister, or sent her to the human world for a mission. Rukia's missing reiatsu is giving him a terrible break in his concentration. It won't go away, that tight feeling in his chest that something is wrong.

Turning the corner to the main house he notices Yoruichi darting away into the night. That damn were-cat didn't waste much time coaxing Ichigo into spying. Not that he minds Ichigo being in his study, he invited her there hoping she would feel more at ease in a place he is comfortable. _"I must keep her a secret a little longer, Ichigo." _

Sensing two familiar reiatsu coming from down the hall he returns in the direction he came from to fetch Ichigo. This meeting is a long time coming. Sliding open one partition then making a quick left and opening the next divider he finds her kneeling in her room with her sword in her lap.

Lost in deep concentration, Ichigo is obvious to the dark eye on her. Earlier he was too distracted to really notice just how lovely she looks with her long orange hair vivid and free down her back. The modern designed kimono hugs her tiny waist with a magenta obi, the neckline of her silver top dips just enough to accent ample breasts. He has long sense considered her the most beautiful woman he has ever met. Byakuya stares at her for a long moment admiring her straight back as she sits with the long dress tucked neatly under her and large blade in her hands. Delicate fireflies embroidered in a shimmering mother of pearl dance about the length of the gown in a rainbow of colors from the lamp-light hanging from four tall black holders located in the four corners of the room.

With his arms at his sides he watches her communicating with her zanpaktou. The welcomed sight is enough to make him feel a bit of contentment. The long sleep affected so many people.

Just as they were coming together, injury took her away from him. The mental rebuke he will carry the rest of his life. However she is hear now, close enough to touch. Even if she doesn't remember the softness they shared, or the friendship, she is _here_ and that is a start.

"Everything is prepared the way you requested, Byakuya-sama." The young house servant Magnolia says motioning to the room on her right.

"That will be all." Byakuya lifts a hand dismissing her. "Are you ready for a surprise?"

"You've done so much. I really don't-"

"I will do as I please." Lowering a hand to her, she slides her fingers around his warm palm. "Do you understand?"

"Yeah." Lifted gently from her seated position her feet touch the floor and follow him to another wall. "It's just.. you let me stay here for years. Now you are buying me expensive clothes..."

"This isn't a gift and it didn't cost anything." With a smooth glide of his hand he parts the double doors leading to the next room.

"H-How..." her pink lips tremble in confusion at the tall slender figure standing up from a chair with strawberry blonde hair to greet her. "M-Mom?" The hair, the eyes... even the way she stands, it's her mother in every way.

"No, Ichi-nee. It's me, Yuzu." The young woman smiles nervously, her large brown eyes fighting back the tears of a decade of separation. "Look at you... You are just as I remember. You are still..." she sniffs her tears spilling down her cheeks. "Ichi-nee."

"Yuzu..." Ichigo's legs almost give out on her as her sister crashes into her arms."You've changed so much."

"Ichi-nee... I missed you!"

Byakuya watches Ichigo crumple to the floor with her sister clinging to her waist.

Ichigo's face tilts up to Byakuya her expression filled with such a beautiful gratitude he wants to reach out and wipe away the tears streaming down her cheeks.

However, that isn't his place in her life, yet. Slipping from the room quietly, he leaves the sisters to take comfort in each other.

Time for a shinigami flows like an infinite coil with each twist and turn, taking us to new places in order that we learn to bend and curl along with along it's endless framework higher and higher until our deaths. Seconds, minutes, hours, even the years pass leaving little impact on the body. But the overwhelming opportunity to stare at this woman's face for uncountable seconds, to hold her hand, to sit next to Ichigo and breathe in those same hours along with her is inescapable. The desire to have her is enough to make him disregard the twists and turns for a straighter path.

"_She loved me once... just a little bit."_ Pausing in mid-step he leans a hand on the wall. Glancing down at the hardwood floor he sees the shattered vase and bends down to pick up the pieces. A piece of rose colored glass cuts him so deep drops of blood slip down his index finger. Dropping the broken glass he wonders if he can win her heart again. Can Byakuya get it right, this time?

"_You will stay here from now on." _

That is if he can express himself better. Practically ordering her to stay was _not_ his intention. Maybe he should go back and clarify... No, No. He will have some tea and soup then go to bed early for once. _"I'm sabotaging myself..." _

~/~

"_I'm married now Ichi-nee, and I'm having a baby."_

"_Oh... Yuzu, that is great. Do I know him?"_

"_No... I met him after you... fell asleep."_

"_Ah... Good for you Yuzu."_

Sitting in the center of her bed with shiny new furnishings and a room filled with foreign stuff given to her, Ichigo can't help but feel out of synch with life.

The visit with Yuzu dripped with carefully chosen words and fragile hugs. It's not that she resents her sister for deciding what 'truth' to reveal. Hell, Ichigo understands more than anymore just how difficult it is too say things that will open up a wound. It's just that she isn't used to being the one who is protected.

"_I'm going to coming home. Let me go tell Byakuya."_

"_Ichi-nee... when you got your shinigami powers back you realized you belonged in Soul Society. They accepted you and made you one of them."_

"_But Yuzu..."_

"_I may have been quiet about where you ran off too, but I always understood what kind of person you were. You are a good girl, Ichigo. So good that it hurts..."_

"_Y-Yuzu?"_

"_It was hard realizing you aren't the kind of person to ask for help from anyone. Kuchiki-san, and Rukia-san... they understand you and support you."_

"_Oh, come on! What about Dad and Karin... they-"_

"_You belong here. Stay here."_

Slipping her eyes shut, she understands. The trembling of her fingers and the suffocating tightness of her throat taunt her. The reality is simple, there isn't a place for her in the human world to go back to. No clinic, no little sisters to protect. Chad, Inoue, Ishida... they are all thirteen years older. And here she is barely looking twenty.

There must be some reason she came here. They didn't force her, Yuzu wouldn't tell her to stay in a place if it wasn't Ichigo's own idea. So what happened? Just what made her stop being human?Grabbing the stack of Diary's on the cherry wood nightstand next to her bed she flips through the pages searching for the answer.

"_The following weeks after your shinigami powers were returned to you came to Soul Society many times. I heard of your comings and goings from Rukia and was surprised when you appeared in front of Captain Commander Yamamoto during a meeting. You looked at everyone and smiled in your usual warm manner then spoke words that I still carry in my heart with an overwhelming weight of responsibility._

_'I should remain here. It's better for... me.'_

_Ichigo Kurosaki, you made a very difficult choice that day. I will never forget your sacrifice."_

"What did I sacrifice?" Unbearable anger wells up inside her. Ichigo throws the book across the room, it hits the wall and thuds on the floor falling open to blank pages. Understand... Understand. UNDERSTAND! But it's impossible, she doesn't understand. There is just no way to _understand_ turning her back on her family.

~/~

Shortly after midnight Byakuya wakes from his slumber, his ashen blue eyes open gently and flick to the door. Just outside his room he can the water in his pond being disturbed and he senses Ichigo's reiatsu fluctuating.

Yanking back his covers her darts through the two doors and outside in the freezing winter air to find her waist deep in the pond, bent forward with her arms searching the numerous stones lining the bottom. "Ichigo."

"I didn't mean to wake you." she smiles giving him a wide handed wave. "Go on back to bed. I'm just going to be a few more minutes."

"What are you doing? It's in the middle of the night and the water is turning to ice on the surface." Walking across the porch he stands near the edge of the pond watching her ignore him and being diving under the clear blue water. "Ichi-" She splashes water up on the porch making him take a step back to avoid getting wet.

Just before her lungs give out she feels a hand grab her by the waist and pull her out of the icy water. "L-Let me go, Byakuya! I have to find it!"

"What could You possibly-" Two gentle hands push him back and he releases her before he can counter. "I have to insist you leave the water." Byakuya says in a firm tone watching her drenched body begin to shiver in the lamp lights hanging from the covered porch. A gust of wind blows at his hair, the stinging bite making his eyes shut for a moment. It's killing him seeing her so upset. She is actually trying to find that ring she tossed in the pond. Reaching out a long arm he pulls her back out of the water. "Enough, Come inside at once."

"No! I need to have it!" she slips through his fingers back into the frigid waters her head dipping down into the darkness only to be grabbed from around her waist and lifted off her feet. "Back off, Byakuya." She flashes him a stern glare, her eyes turning yellow for a split second.

"_Oh, no you don't." _ But Byakuya is at his limit of patience. He carries her directly into the Ichigo's old room and sets her on the futon. "Why would you risk freezing to death over a trinket given to you by someone you do not even know?"

"It's not a trinket!" Ichigo bites back the tears stinging her eyes. "It's proof someone wanted me!" She promised she would be brave, that she wouldn't take her problems to him and look at what she is doing. Gathering her strength she rises to her feet and tries to go past him, but her sadness and the bitter cold takes it's toll on her. "I left my family to protect them from _me_!" she screams letting her body lurch forward as tears pour down her face. "I'm _that_ dangerous!" Pressing her hands down her face, the pain in her stomach makes her drop to her feet. "And t-today..."

"Today I moved you across the manor." Byakuya interrupts realizing his mistake. _"Oh, god Ichigo..." _He can't have her think he doesn't want her around. Dropping to his knees in front of her, Byakuya grabs her by the shoulders and pulls her to his chest. What can he do to erase this pain she is carrying? "Ichigo... I'm sorry." Moving his hands from her shoulder to her cheeks. The bitterness seeps into him, his large palms sink warmth into her face until his hands being to ache. "Forgive me for this?" he asks leaning his head closer to hers.

For a moment she is wide-eyed, young and shocked. The next he is leaning into her pressing his warm lips against hers. Instantly her heart begins beating faster, heat from his hands spreading a sweet sensation through her chest and calming the ache in her belly. Gently closing her eyes she starts to feel the emptiness of the past few days melt away with each tender caress of his lips.

Slowly, carefully Byakuya senses her mouth moving gingerly against his and the hope he had locked away in his heart for them flickers up into a bolder flame. Slipping his hands into her soaked orange hair he supports hers head as he takes the kiss deeper and all the things he swore he would never talk about suddenly don't seem worth the secrecy. Any escape plan, any contingency he had for finding a wife is now unthinkable. She is the plan, the goal, the only prize he will have. The coldness of her skin becomes concerning, he pulls back from the kiss and grabs a blanket from the end of the futon. "Take off your clothes."

"W-What?" Ichigo stares at him completely shocked. "This is kinda fast for me."

"Your lips are blue, and you've stopped shivering. You are too cold." he says growing impatient. "I'll help you."

"_W-Wait what is he helping me with?"_

Pulling her off the floor, he sets her on her feet and unfurls the red blanket in his hands. In one swift move he tosses the blanket towards her, reaches around it and literally rips the wet silk fabric of the kimono down the side, and yanks it away all before the cover wraps around her.

Once the dress drop to the floor and the blanket is in place he lifts her up and carries her into his room. Ichigo finds herself cocooned in a dry bed with Byakuya curling up next to her. "I-I'm not sure I'm ready for th-this to happen yet!" She tries to scramble from the bed only to feel an arm pull her back against a solid chest.

"Yet?" Byakuya whispers with his lips near her ear. "Yet means one day you will, right, Ichigo?"

"U-Um..." Her cheeks flush bright red as she ponders being in the same bed as him. "I-I-I-"

"Just kidding~." he chuckles turning on his side and shutting his eyes. The reiatsu coming from behind him is calmer now, even her heartbeat is strong and steady. "I will have your belongings moved back in to the adjacent room in the morning."

"O-Ok..." Ichigo snuggles deeper into the covers thankful she isn't sharing a blanket with him. _"I'm naked under here!"_

"I sleep better with you nearby anyway." he tells her, his voice low in a warm whisper.

"I think I do too, Byakuya." she replies before letting her eyes close and the thoughts of the day flow through her mind. So falling apart didn't end in disaster. Ichigo isn't arrogant enough to think she can rewrite the mistakes she has made... but that white diary has plenty of blank pages.

* * *

><p>Hey all! Whew what a long chapter! I do hope you like it, I worked very very hard on it for you! HUGS Fuzzi<p> 


	9. Captain Kurosaki

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Antebellum**_

**_Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need. ~Khalil Gibran_**

_**Chapter 9; Captain Kurosaki;**_

The blaring ringing of an alarm clock wakes Ichigo Kurosaki from a deep uneventful sleep. Not dreaming of anything in particular her brown eyes open settling on a small blue vase with a single Chinese Bluebell stem setting inside. Her lips spread in a small smile recalling where she is and the kiss Byakuya surprised her with the night before. _"He kissed me then brought to his bed..." _

Does this mean he likes her? Instantly her cheeks blaze red, her stomach fluttering nervously. "He is too... too Byakuya for me!" she exclaims yanking the blanket over her face. The heavy covers move as she rolls over on her stomach and presses her face to the large fluffy pillow next to her. The soft masculine scent of Byakuya's shampoo fills her with a warm sensation in her belly. _"His pillow." _Her hand slides down the soft fabric of his pillow, finding it cool she tugs the blanket off her face and rolls back to her side of the bed. Propped against the vase is a small note with her name written beautifully on the front. Just behind the vase is a ornate changing screen with her uniform and the white haori she was given a few days a go by Hinamori-san. _"That's right, I'm a captain now." _Exhaling a breath she grabs the note and rises from the bed. "Damn it's cold." she says snatching the shinigami robes and darting behind the screen to change.

A few minutes after eight she arrives at the fifth division gates. One glance at the tall foreboding entrance with the Gotei symbol eclipsing the double doors, she swallows a knot in her throat. _"How am I supposed to pretend I belong here?" _How the hell does Byakuya think she can pretend to know what to do?

Her haori billows in the crisp breeze, reminding her of the note from this morning and decides now is a good time to read it. Reaching inside her sleeve-less haori pocket she pulls out the message. Flipping it over she breaks the wax Kuchiki seal, the note crinkling in her hands.

"_Good morning, Ichigo. When you first became a captain you fretted greatly over making the right decisions that effect your subordinates. Know that you can come to me in the evenings and I will council you to the best of my ability. I can't be there to answer all your questions, but if you are asked something that truly leaves you without a confident answer, I will tell you some advice. Never appear confused or say you do not know the solution to the problem placed in front of you. Your response should be this... 'I will address this at a later time.' Good luck. Byakuya."_

Narrowing her eyes she puts a hand on her hip. "That's your big secret, eh?" Waving an arm in the air she slants her eyes to the right. "I'm supposed to say, 'I'll get back to you?'" she yells at the sky curling her fingers into a fist. "No way is anyone gonna buy that!"

"Captain Kurosaki-san?"

"Why me? No one has ever cared about my opinions before." Ichigo doesn't notice Hinamori Momo standing next to her until a finger taps her shoulder. "Wha-What?"

"Captain?" Her large eyes grow round at the taller woman's long orange hair drifting free in the breeze. "Oh, did you want me to braid your hair for you this morning?"

"_Oh, great a freaking question." _Ichigo gives Hinamori a nervous smile, her eyebrows slanting together despite her best effort to look friendly. Pretend, you know her. Pretend this is all familiar and normal.

"Captain is everything alright?"

"S-Sure!" She pats Hinamori on the back lightly. "Let's just head to my..." Oh god does she have an office? Byakuya has one, so should she right?

"Your office?" Momo adds after a brief silence, her hands wring together in concern. "Perhaps it is too soon for you to return to work after-"

"H-Hinamori-san... w-what are you saying? I'm fine~! I'm excited to see..." No one really. She doesn't know a single person in the fifth division but Aizen and he was a traitor. "everyone. To the office! You lead the way!" Oh god she isn't going to make it through the day. People are going to see right through her, and Byakuya is going to shut his eyes in that disapproving way that makes her feel like she is a flea to him. _"A flea he gave a flower to..."_

~/~

Byakuya spends most of the morning at the relief station after being woken by his head butler. Sometime during the night Rukia's body was found in Rukongai and Captain Unohana spent the dawn in emergency surgery.

"Captain Kuchiki-san, there can be no doubt." Unohana says in a calm, but concerned voice. "Whom ever attacked Kuchiki-san, also attacked Captain Kurosaki-san."

Already surmising this information, Byakuya doesn't respond. Instead he walks closer to the bed with his sister laying with bandages around her body. Whoever did this to Ichigo and to Rukia has only one enemy.

"You have someone hunting those under your protection, Kuchiki-san."

"Will the coma be lasting like Captain Kurosaki's?"

"There is no way to tell. However, Rukia-san might surprise us all and wake up tomorrow." Unohana tells him in a hopeful tone. The years of treating Ichigo has brought the different qwerks of Byakuya's personality to life for the healing captain. It's obvious to her trained eye, Byakuya is angry and it's likely that sometime soon she will be called during the night to heals his wounds. _"I understand... despite your desire to keep people at a distance, you are a very territorial man." _Flicking her blue eyes towards the window she can see the darkening clouds of a storm coming.

"I'll leave you to this." Byakuya says walking out of the room and vanishes around a corner, his mind closing in on a few possible enemy's. Until now, he was certain the one who attacked Ichigo was after her, but to take his sister and not kill her... _"I'm being sent a message." _His fingers clench briefly, the urge to go to Ichigo's division and pull her out of there is a drumming temptation echoing in his head.

Byakuya's normally confident stance pauses, his foot sliding on a sand covered stone. Shocked at slipping he puts a hand to a wall, his eyes widening in shock. It's no good. He is off balance. Turning a corner he finds himself at a intersection of three possible directions. To the right is Ichigo's direction, and to the left is the path toward his division. A sharp blast of cold air blusters his haori as he stands there. "No." he says firmly, but in a whisper, then turns to the left. This isn't the right time, not yet. Pushing the drumming sound down into his chest he tells himself she isn't his, not yet... not yet... Twice sampling those sweet, water kissed lips has left him with a need he can't logic his way out of. _"Ten years of waiting has made me impatient." _

Exhaling a sigh he flash steps to his division and the for the remainder of the morning Byakuya is thankfully distracted with his regular Captain duties. However, soon as his lunch time arrives and Abarai has been dismissed, the silence causes his thoughts return quickly to Ichigo.

All night, he lay awake with her warmth so close. The pounding sound in his head rumbles back to life. Swallowing a dry gulp of air he recalls her hair drifting over to his pillow. Byakuya's chin slumps into his hand, and occasionally her arm would drift over his chest.

Louder and louder, that damn sound is torturing him. The worst of it was when that blanket would drift down her chest, and her legs would tangle around his hip- He jerks out of the chair heading for the private practice hall behind his office. It's terrible to be this way. Ichigo is destroying his focus and making him get hard just sitting at his desk. The strumming... the enticing beat that Byakuya Kuchiki is afraid to stare down, and too weak to push away has a name. But he can't speak it yet, not yet... not yet.

Sliding open the doors of the adjacent building the noble prince grabs a bokken and begins practicing swords forms. The only option is drowning out that wretched siren in his mind with discipline.

Meanwhile Captain Kurosaki is wondering around the corner of the building Byakuya just vanished into. After looking left then right, she is confident at successfully sneaking into the division without anyone detecting her. It's odd but maybe she has actually improved her skill at controlling her reiatsu. But how is it working when she isn't really _aware _of how to make it work?

Slipping in through a window she darts behind a red curtain before Byakuya turns around. Peeking through a gap in the curtains covering a changing screen her amber eyes widen at the sight of Byakuya's bare chest. The perfectly toned pale skin of his entire upper torso has a thin sheen as he begins to move into another sword form. This one Ichigo doesn't recognize from her limited High school Kendo classes, it's impressive, his strong arms moving the wooden sword up over his head in a arc to pause in midair. Traveling down the length of his broad shoulders and long arms, her cheeks blaze crimson. _"I-I slept next to that last night? HOW!" _

Oh god, he looks... well she can't believe she is going to think this but he looks so incredibly... "Sexy..." she says aloud to her own personal terror. Ichigo suddenly panics pressing her back to the curtain. _"You didn't hear.. Byakuya didn't hear me.. Please dear god! Don't let him notice m-"_

"Show yourself at once." Byakuya's icy voice echoes across the room. A vibrant orange head pokes around the screen, the familiar face lifts up to look at him. _"She is here." _

_**Thump Thump.**_

Instantly the sound he has been running from echoes through his veins. _"She's wearing her haori..." _He's never seen her look more beautiful than right now, her normal Captain's attire, the deeply curved blade on her back accenting the power she carries so effortlessly on her shoulders. But for the very long orange braid laying down the front of her chest, Ichigo looks every bit like the woman he has longed to see for the past ten years. "What are you doing here?" he says gruffly, turning to walk over to the screen where the top of his uniform and his haori are hanging up. _"I'm too sharp with her." _He slants his eyes to the right looking her up and down as he passes her by. _"What does she want? I'm trying to NOT think about her and here she is looking incredible."_

"N-Nothing at all." she whispers, turning in the opposite direction and heading back towards the window she came in. "I-I mean-" Before she can finish- her eyes widen with the realization that she sounded sad. "I-I mean... It's nothing that can't wait until later. Haha..." Her voice pitches high and unnatural, she reaches the window frame and whirls around to give Byakuya a smile. "I'll just let myself-"

_**Thump... thump...**_

Her gaze meets his as Ichigo struggles with a half dressed Byakuya. The churning unsatisfied feeling in her stomach, keeps getting hotter and lower, her legs actually feel like they are going to buckle._ "Damn it, I sound stupid. " _Timidity wins out in her battle and she looks down at the floor.

"Has something happened?" he asks confidently, sure his voice comes out calmly concerned without sounding too harsh.

_**Tha...thump...**_

"Nah, I'm fine." He is going to take back that incredible kiss and say something to excuse sleeping next to her. _"It didn't mean anything. Of course it didn't. He is Byakuya 'freaking-" _It's not going to happen again.

"If you are fine, then why are you out of breath?" He steps a single foot towards her body, the strong sounds of a heart loud in his ears. "Answer." Byakuya says unable to fathom why she is in front of him with that fake smile/laugh combination she's used on him in the past. _"I deserve better than the phony smile you use on everyone else."_

"I-I'm not-" She notices it then, her throat tightening up like being too long in the midday sun on a hot summer day. It's winter though. _"Why did I never notice how sexy he is? Damn sexy." _Lifting a hand to her neck she tugs on the high collar of her shinigami uniform, why is it so hard to breathe? "I... don't know." Ichigo finally admits tilting her head up their gazes locking again in a blast of heat.

"I know." his lips move faintly in a whisper, the thumping growing louder and louder... It's unbearable to him, the ringing in his ears. Swiftly, his feet move toward her body, seizing her mouth, instantly the drumming in his head intensifies, thunderous, loud and heavy.

Lips, strong and forceful attack her open mouth, her wild amber eyes going wide in shock. A flame of hope leaps in her chest with each caress of his lips. It's not impossible, it's happening again. Wet and so smooth his kiss fills her stomach with warm heat. Sensing his mouth easing away, Ichigo wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him back. Lightly brushing over his upper lip, her eyelids fluttering shut.

"_It's her." _He understands now... it's so perfectly clear. The noise in his head goes silent, his arms lifting her off the floor so he can hold her body to his. At last the pressure in his veins erupts, his head lowering against hers, his mouth seeking more of her taste. Subtle rushes of relief cloud around him along with her vanilla scent. Ichigo's fingers slip into his hair, the delicate shy touches giving him such a contentment that he drops to his knees.

As his lips nudge her backward, his arms hold her tightly. Her bottom comes to rest on his lap. Ichigo instinctively wraps her right leg around his waist. Is this really her? She she curling herself so snugly around this man's body. _"Yes..." _Heat spreads between them and his long fingers move under her haori to stroke her back gently. In some way... he fills her up, until there isn't any room for anything else. Just him... Just Byakuya.

A knock on the door forces Byakuya to break the kiss. "Enter." he says darting a cold gaze to the small brown haired young woman appearing in the doorway.

"C-Captain's Kuchiki-san, Kurosaki-san..." Hinamori looks down at the floor at the floor realizing she is interrupting an intimate moment. "I-I'm sorry for intruding. I'll just go now!" she says nervously, her eyes still burning with the image of her Captain kissing another Captain. _"They look like secret lovers! Kyaaaa!"_

"You alright, Hinamori-san?" Ichigo sets her feet on the floor, Byakuya rises up careful to keep his hand on her shoulder.

"I felt your reiatsu spike, and thought something-" she waves her hands in front of her face blushing redder. "But it was just you and Captain..." Unable to complete the sentence Momo looses the last of her nerve and suddenly flash steps away.

"I better go after her." Ichigo says darting toward the door when a gentle clasp of fingers around her wrist stops her. "Byakuya?" turning her head toward his half lidded gaze, her body hitches in surprise. For the first time it becomes very clear to her that Byakuya is a man, and if they are going to be together she will need to understand his needs. "I'm sorry... I really have to go. Ever since Aizen was captured Hinamori-san has been a little..."

"She suffers greatly due to Aizen's influence over her." He says in a plain manner. "Because of this, you asked to be placed with her division."

"I did?"

"Yes, you felt responsible for her." Byakuya's lips thin. Ichigo always feels responsible for anything she touches. But the truth is... she doesn't have to care. It's just one of the things he feel protective over her about. "You have duties. Of course I will understand." he says sliding his fingers over her hand.

"I'm guessing we have a few things to talk about."

Byakuya simply nods as she slips from his grasp to dart out the door. Dozens of times she has walked out of his sight, but this time feels different. Somehow in his heart he can sense a change inside him, her touch extends to him also.

That drumming in his head begins again.

~/~

Ichigo flashes steps past her division gate and into her office directly behind Hinamori. "Hinamori-san.."

"Captain.. I've told you, you can't call me Hinamori-san." she lifts a finger up scolding her captain. "It's Lieutenant Hinamori or just Momo!" Her lips widen in a smile.

"Alright... I get it... I'm a captain now I have to get used to the honorifics." Ichigo relents to the girl holding a hand behind her head. "Now about what you saw back there. Could you-"

"Oh, my lips are sealed." Momo says picking up a stack of papers half her size and carrying them to a small desk in the corner. "I'll never speak of you and that Captain~!"

"Oi! Momo!"

"I have the power of the _secret_!" she adds dropping the stack of paperwork on her desk and curling her bicep. "The _secret _is more powerful, the longer it's a _secret_! Therefore I must keep it a _secret~!_"

"Thanks... Lieutenant Hinamori." Ichigo sits down at her desk, her chin tapping her palm as she leans on it, her thought instantly going back to the practice room and the kissing.

"Oh and captain!" Momo pops her head from around a stack of paperwork. "I'm so glad for you!" She gives Ichigo a thumbs up.

"_Oh god..."_ Ichigo rolls her eyes at the waving finger above the stack of papers.

"You could use some good news after what has happened with Vice Captain Kuchiki-san, right?"

"What happened to Rukia?"

"She at the relief-" Before Momo can finish her sentence Ichigo is darting away. "Oh, Captain... you never use the door."

"_What happened to Rukia?" _Ichigo's mind swirls in a panic, she didn't feel her reiatsu drop? Setting her foot down at the Relief Station she begins to walk towards the gate when a reiatsu appears behind her.

"Hello Ichigo."

As she turns a strange sensation streaks through her, a smoky voice from her past... a voice she has never heard but she knows it. Before she even sets eyes on him, she knows it's him. The man who gave her a ring that she tossed in the bottom of a pond.

"Miss me, lover?" he asks, his thin lips stretching into a grin.

* * *

><p>Hey all! Here it is! Whew! Another long chapter for all my friends =D. Here I hope the themes got through. Ichigo discovers need for the first time and Byakuya realizes contentment is possible with Ichigo. I hope you like and send me some reviews! Happy Holidays and remember somebunni loves you all =D HUGS Fuzzi<p> 


	10. Shadow Games

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Antebellum**_

_**Find beauty not only in the thing itself but in the pattern of the shadows, the light and dark which that thing provides. ~Junichiro Tanizaki**_

_**Chapter 10; Shadow Games**_

The noisy spray of fast steamy water dancing off Byakuya's shoulders does little to mute the voices of his subordinates chatting in the stalls nearby. The men yell and cut-up with Renji like the differences in their power are meaningless if they are naked. Do they not loathe their own weakness?

His wife's voice echoes in his head, a distant memory of the first year they were married.

Faced with difficulties from the very start, Hisana struggled to stand tall with his family looking down on her. Byakuya managed to shield her for the most part from their tongue waging and cruel disapproval._ Nevertheless_, Hisana could never get the confidence to walk next to him, and he silently allowed her to hide in his shadow with the excuse of it being proper etiquette for a nobleman's wife.

"_I prefer to walk behind, Byakuya-sama." _

"_Very well..." _

And it remained so, despite Byakuya's longing for a wife with a stronger presence. Hisana remained buried beneath his title to the very day she died.

Exhaling a gasp of air past his lips he leaves behind those memories to turn off the faucet. Can the water rinse away the shadow he has locked away in his heart? "Ichigo, you would not be satisfied to trail in my wake. You've always run ahead... so far ahead of everyone else." he whispers, focusing his ashen blue eyes on the smooth tile in front of him ignoring the water flowing freely over his head and face.

Lips warmer than the water slid over his mouth covering his, the passion finally breaking is a great victory after a ten year battle. So why does he feel so unsettled by the sounds creeping up on him?

The source of his restlessness, and the subtle drumming in his head, is the woman he kissed not twenty minutes ago. Captain Unohana was right in the bond he and Ichigo have achieved. Somehow, their souls managed to blend over the long years while she slept nearby to the point, he can hear the beating of her heart. Forcing his head to dip lower under the stream of water Byakuya continues to ponder the next steps to take. _"I should have went to the manor for a soak in my bathhouse."_ Bathing would soothe him more, but he can not return to his home without being late returning from his lunch break.

Somewhere in the vastness of Soul Society that strong beating heart stops it's gentle echo, _"Ichigo." _his thoughts crash together as he shuts off the water and quickly dresses.

"Captain?" Renji's voice is slapped to the floor of the division dressing room as the dark haired noble darts away.

Seconds later Byakuya's sandals touch down to the scene. "What are you doing with her..." he asks the dark haired man in front of him holding Ichigo's lip body in his arms. "Shukuro Tsukishima."

"Ho? We always seem to _cross _each others paths, Captain." The dark haired man replies in a whimsical tone.

The area trembles as Byakuya's right hand moves toward his hip where his zanpaktou rests in it's sheathe. "I will not repeat myself."

Undaunted by Byakuya's reiatsu crackling at his skin, Shukuro's lips thin in a smirk. It's true, this man has never once showed him a hint of leniency. Why should he... when they are after the same thing. "If you are referring to my fiancee, the moment she set eyes on me she passed right out." His left arms cradles her easily as his right hand comes to rest on Ichigo's cheek. "I guess it was a bit of shock to her." Shukuro's eyes meet Byakuya's filled with amusement. Very few people are truly as entertaining as Byakuya Kuchiki. "I've always found her beautiful when she sleeps in my arms."

"_This man... thinks his past intimacy with her will put me at a disadvantage. Fool." _If it were ten years ago Byakuya would turn his back on this person and walk away. "Ichigo, wake up." Byakuya calls out to her in a firm voice, he isn't capable of leaving her, this woman's heart is in his head. How can he ignore that? "Ichigo."

"Hmm?" Ichigo's eyelids flutter as she struggles to wake from a strange dream. Slowly the realization that she is in someone's arms settles over her as a shadowy figure casts a shadow over her. "Byakuya?" she mutters at the dark outline before focusing on the dull brown eyes of a stranger. "Whoa!" Quickly darting from his grasp she scrambles away from the man finding herself a few feet away from two dark haired men staring each other down. "Byakuya and...?" Flicking her eyes to the second figure, the one who was carrying her, she finds something in his eyes strangely familiar. "Do I know you?" Scratching at the back of her head her shoulders shrug. "I'm Ichigo Kuro-"

"Captain Kurosaki." Byakuya corrects her as he steps next to her. "As a result of her brutal attack, she has no memory of the past thirteen years. You are a stranger to her, _former_ shinigami Tsukishima."

"Now that isn't very fair." Tsukishima puts a hand on his hip arching his neck to look at the woman who used to sneak into his room at night to sleep next to him. "I guess I will have to make her fall in love with me all over again."

"Ridiculous." Byakuya replies with a frown. "You forfeit any claim to her ten years ago."

The air around Ichigo turns crisp as Byakuya and her fiancee glare at each other. Are they actually fighting over her? This has gotta be a first... "Um... guys... there isn't a reason to get up-"

"Stay out of this, Ichigo." Both men turn an eye at her.

"Oi! What the hell?" Raising a fist in air she starts to step in between them when a hand settles on her shoulder. "Huh?" Turning her head she sees Captain Kyoraku's face appear behind a straw hat. "Kyoraku-san where-where did you come from?"

"Kyoraku-san? You haven't called me that in so long. Does this mean we are growing closer?" he gives Ichigo a mischievous grin. "I'm so happy~!"

"What?" Ichigo panics at his innuendo. "Don't tell me... Heh... heh Sorry about that Captain Kyoraku-san. I was just distracted for a moment."

"Oh?" Tsukishima's eye sparkle for a moment with the knowledge Captain Kuchiki and his little Ichigo is keeping her memory loss a secret. This situation just became interesting. "Captain's if you will excuse me, I would like to talk to my fiancee alone for a moment." If they can play at it then he can too. Taking Ichigo's hand he pulls her around the corner leaving behind a smirking Shunsui and a stewing Byakuya.

"Um, Tsukishima, right?" Ichigo pulls her hand from his grasp retreating to high white wall to stand against. Before she can speak the tall lean man leans close pressing a long leg between her knees and smacking a palm to the wall near her head.

"Sweetheart... Sweetheart... tell me you remember this." Shukuro lifts an open hand to her chin and leans forward to kiss her. Just how much has she forgotten? And what about... before? What will _that_ do?

"No-Nothing at all!" she says pushing a hand to his chest nudging him away from her lips. "So none of... whatever this is."

"Are you sure you don't recall something about the man who was going to be your husband?" His head tilts, the expression on his face carefully dripping with sadness. "Any single moment?"

"I um..." Confusing images cloud Ichigo's mind. She struggles to grasp something, anything that might make this person familiar. A beautiful kimono, hushed voices and a tender feeling in pit of her stomach washes over her.

_"I want to more than anything." _

_"Just do it already." she blurts out, her cheeks turning the color of her dress._

_"Rukia will be here in sixty seconds."_

_"Then you better make it a good one." Ichigo whispers then grabs his robe crashing her lips to his. _

It's just a glimpse like a flicker of emotion. But feelings... the feelings were so intense her lips suck in a deep breath.

"Oh, you remember something." Tsukishima's left hand moves down to his side. "Tell me what you've remembered Ichigo." He has to know if everything is really gone. All those moments of her resting her head on his chest, the quiet kisses just outside her division, the time he made love to her in the rain, is all of that really erased? "Tell me." Shukuro demands clutching her chin with his right hand forcing her eyes to meet with his.

"I-I..." Her eyes widen from the turn of his demenor, and the roughness of his fingertips digging at her cheeks. The memory and the person hurting her face doesn't add up for Ichigo, and this memory... is precious. Her hands press at his chest firmly and she steps away from him. "I don't remember anything about you. I'm so sorry." Something feels wrong here. Something is terribly wrong.

"How did this happen?" he almost growls the words turning his back on her. Glaring up at the bright midday sun his eyes glow crimson in anger and frustration. The blankness of the blue sky piercing down on him only feeds his frustration. "It's impossible!" He did not delete himself from her yet so why is she a clean slate?

"I'm sorry, I was told by Byakuya I was attacked and I was cut on my head." she takes a step toward him and pats him on the shoulder. "I can't remember three years before that moment."

"You were cut?" he turns around to find her lifting up a long lock of hair to reveal a small scar. "This isn't a cut, it's a stab wound."

"Damn, you can tell that just by looking at it?"

"Yes, when you draw a blade and fight, it's a common technique to slash. But this is a piercing wound." Soon as the words come out his fingers tightening into fists. "Who would dare..."

"Shukuro... san perhaps in time I will remember." Interrupting him and the dark reiatsu radiating from him, she tries to put him at ease. Those memories, the tenderness, it was real and she has to try and get them back. _"At some point... I loved this person and I made promises to him."_

Meanwhile just around the corner Kyoraku shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Kuchiki has always been such a mystery to him. Right now that noble stubbornness is keeping him here instead of going over there and busting up the little talk Ichigo is having with her no-good ex-boyfriend. "You aren't gonna let him win are you?"

"I have no idea what you are-"

"If you let that young punk take Ichigo away without a fight. It just proves you don't deserve her." Shunsui says walking toward the relief station and Nanao-chan. "What is the report?"

"There has been another attack- This one is a fifth seat it happened just a few minutes ago and there was a note left on the body." Nanao hands Shusui the letter with Ichigo's name written on the front with a frown. "Oi, Kuchiki-Taichou. This involves you, you better have a look at it."

_Ichigo Kurosaki, the time is coming for you to die._

So much for the theory that Byakuya is the main target. "Has Captain Unohana seen this?" Byakuya takes the note from Nanao and folds it in half sticking it in his haori.

"Yes, Captain. She is performing an exam of the victim and will send her results to you this evening."

"Very well." Byakuya heads toward the door.

"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Kyoraku points to the group of buildings Ichigo vanished behind. "Or are you thinking of hiding it from Ichigo-chan? Deception isn't wise when it involves the woman you love Kuchiki."

"Ichigo does not need my shadow."

* * *

><p>Hihi my dear friends. I bet you've been wondering where is the update? Well I decided to just be honest with you all and tell you I'm very sick. But, I promise to finish this before I'm too ill to write anymore. =) I've been getting some varying reviews from people and I wanted to ask your understanding and to please refrain from being to critical, okies? It's just a story about a proud guy and a stubborn girl nothing more. If you like it review, if not that is okies too. =D our support over the past three years has meant so much to me thankyou! Remember to toss me a review and I will see you next chapter. =D I love you all, Fuzzi<p> 


	11. The Friend Zone

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Antebellum**_

_**The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is. ~Winston Churchill**__**  
><strong>_

_**Chapter 11; The Friend Zone**_

It's a pleasant, quiet day in the division. Most of the seated officers and non-seated officers are out on repair duty leaving Momo to her second cup of hot tea. She takes a small sip squinting from the heat and smiles. If it was spring the birds would be chirping out a sweet song lifting Hinamori's spirits even higher.

"Momo!"

"Whaaaaaat! Captain!" she says jerking out of her seat and spilling tea all over her shinigami robe. "Are we under attack?"

"Momo..." Ichigo sets her hand on the smaller girls shoulder. "Any minute a man claiming to be my fiancee is going to come through that door."

"F-F-Fiancee?"

"Yeah. Tell him I'm not here. Do anything to get rid of him. I'm counting on you." Ichigo slams her office door plastering herself to it. _"He won't go away!"_

"You're m-m-marrying him al-?" Momo's words stop mid-sentence as a dark figure appears next to her.

"I would like to talk to your Captain."

"D-Do you have an appointment?" Momo asks leaning away from this tall skinny stranger.

"I'm her fiancee. Shukuro Tsukishima. I think she will want to see me." He walks toward the brunette with a wide grin until she is flat against the office door. "Step aside, please."

"_F-F-Fiancee?" _Hinamori's complexion suddenly drains of all color. Some people can say please and it not mean please at all. It's a threat, a warning to step carefully or they will devour you to achieve their goal. And the way this man stands over her, makes Momo think of Ichimaru Gin. "I-I think she is gone until tomorrow." A sharp knock on the wall makes the girl raise her hands in a panic. "U-Um, next week. She is very busy until next week. I have to insist you come back another day." She gives him a determined look certain that her armpits are damp from this persons strange reiatsu.

"Are you sure I can't talk to her just for a second, Vice Captain Hinamori Momo?" Shukuro smirks at the young woman's pathetic attempt to be strong. Lazily he slides a hand toward his sword. It could be so easy. One swing and she will think the world of him and give him everything. But, it might be noticed by his precious Ichigo hiding behind that door. He can't have that, not yet. It's too soon to tip the scales too much in his favor.

"_Your ability, Tsukishima, is incredible. You can write any life you want, any number of times. Be a hero, a savior, a god to anyone you want. Just be sure you don't create your own tragedy. Where's the fun in that?"_

Tsukishima's hand moves away from his sword. "I will do as you ask." he says calmly, Ginjou's words digging under his skin, the blades... he can still feel those blades ripping at his chest.

Darting from the division he retreats to his small shack in Rukongai. Shutting the door behind him he slumps to the dirty wooden floor and begins to sob. "I'm not a hero. I can't even play the part of the leading man properly. I'm the fool in this story." The pain and frustration pours out of him until he punches his fist through the floor. "Ichigo!"

"Tsukishima... would you like me to take the pain away again?"

"More than... anything." he replies to the shadow creeping up closer and closer in front of him.

"Very well."

"Wait!" He suddenly reaches out and grabs his sword's handle. "Just enough to calm me down. She stays... I _need_ her to stay."

~/~

"Hinamori, I think I have very serious problem." Ichigo gasps slumping over her desk sending stacks of papers flying about. "I've managed to get myself a fiancee and a … well I'm not really sure what Byakuya is, we haven't really talked about it, yet."

"Um... Captain?" Momo starts snatching papers up before they have a chance the land on the floor.

"I don't know what to do."

"Well, obviously you can't keep them both." Hinamori replies with a nervous chuckle. "Unless you... do? I mean it's the modern era so I understand some people-"

"I'm not that kinda girl!"

"I'm kidding! It's just a little joke." Will this lighten the mood? It will right? Her captain is fun accept when she... Her dark brown eyes slant to the fist punching a hole in the desk. _"When she is like this..."_

"Byakuya has been really good to me. Protecting me all these years, being my friend. Now, there was kissing and my brain is fried!" Her arms swing knocking over another pile of paperwork. "Are we friends or are we moving towards something else? I'm fried Hinamori!"

"_I can't blame you. If a man like that kissed me I would be fried too." _Clearing her throat Momo decides to give Ichigo her opinion. What's the worst that could happen? After all this is her captain and she wants the best for her. "Well, if you want my opinion."

"I do! Yes, Hinamori-san. Tell me what I should do!" Ichigo grabs Hinamori's wrists in desperation. "I've never had this problem before."

"You are going to have to choose one, and the other will go into your _'friend' _zone."

"Friend Zone?" Ichigo repeats thinking about road construction. "That doesn't sound too bad. I'm a fantastic friend. How do I do that?"

"Huh? Captain..." Momo cocks her head at Ichigo utterly confused. "Y-You're the one who told me about the "friend' zone."

"I-I did?"

"Yes, I was having trouble dealing with Shiro- I mean Captain Hitsugaya." She shuffles her feet nervously, still even after these few years saying his name brings a tight feeling in her chest. "You told me that I had to figure out Hitsugaya's level of 'Protection' and if I needed to put him in the Friend Zone or the Boyfriend Zone."

"Damn, I said something that cool?" she whispers listening to Momo's explanation. _"When did I get so smart when it comes to relationships?"_

"...and I discovered he wasn't trying to protect the breasts. He was protecting his little sister and I put him into the Friend Zone. Now I'm after Kira-san. And I'm going to get him!" Momo lifts a fist into the air with a dreamy expression. "He wants to protect the breasts."

Ichigo's mouth falls open. _"What the fuck did I do to her?" _Innocent little Hinamori-san is now using her breasts to-to... "Level of Protection? Protect the breasts? C-C-Can you please explain it as if I don't know what the hell you are talking about?"

"Ah, Captain. You are so funny!" Momo sets the stack of papers back on the desk and holds a finger to her cheek. The blush on her face blooms brighter red. "There are two levels of Protection. Level A that wants the protect their friends who happen to be girls," she lifts up a second finger with a smile. "And B , the ones who want to protect you because they love your breasts."

"Hinamori... I don't think you should ever listen to me again." Ichigo starts hitting her desk again.

"So Captain!" She points a finger at Ichigo. "Find out if Captain Kuchiki likes your breasts!"

"_I wanna go back in my coma..." _

~/~

In vain, he tries. _"Don't change your habits, for one person."_ Byakuya gives it his best effort to wait for Ichigo to return to the manor, but when she fails to show up for dinner his worry wins out over his patience. _"But I already changed for her so long ago." _Stepping out of the dinning room, he shuts the sliding door behind him to glide down the enclosed walkway leading to another set of buildings. _"I do not need to know where she is at all times." _But he stops and ponders his choice before changing his mind and opening the glass doorway on his right. Soon as the brisk wind hits his face he draws in a sharp breath and shuts his eyes. _"Where are you?" _The warm sensation pulls at him and a moment later he is sliding open a door in her division.

Soft light and muted silence leads him down a long hallway lined with lamps along the floor every few feet. It's calm and strangely empty in Ichigo's office area. At the end of the corridor he turns right and finds four sliding doors one after the other all flung wide open. _"Is she incapable of closing a door?" _Of course not... His lips hitch amused at the way something so practical speaks volumes of the woman behind this last door. Pushing aside the dark blue door with a pleasant white lily wallpaper he comes face to face with Ichigo. "Ichi-" His eyes widen at the sight of her naked from the waist up and her hands gathering the long orange locks he admires so much into a ponytail.

"Byakuya! Get-" And that's when Ichigo notices his dark blue eyes shift to her breasts. He is looking at them. What should she do? _"I can't make a fuss. He might never kiss me again!" _Her entire body sizzles recalling that kiss in the practice room.

"Pardon me for interrupting." He turns to make a fast retreat, his eyes burning with the image of her round perfect breasts. It'll take him an hour just to calm down. But a hand grabs his wrist, Ichigo's hand unbelievably is keeping him in the room. "Ichi-"

"I-I don't know what you are thinking, yet. " she exclaims leaning her forehead against the middle of his back. "But-"

"Ichigo." Byakuya attempts to turn around and face her, but Ichigo takes a step to her left remaining safely hidden behind him.

"Please just listen!" Ichigo's fingers grab at his haori. "You know how you spar with someone many times, you can kinda predict what their next move is? Or friends long enough with them, you can tell what are thinking when they smile?"

He nods making a light sound so full of curiosity about her next comment that he wouldn't dream of moving from this spot.

"I don't know what you are thinking, yet." Pushing out a breath of air she forces the trembling of her lips to calm. "I don't know the expressions you make when you are happy, or feeling sad. But, I want too... _so much_. I want to know everything so I can stand next to you with confidence."

Byakuya's shoulders hitch. How could she see so easily into his heart? It's too much for Byakuya to just ignore. Pivoting on a foot, he turns toward her to gaze in her eyes. As expected he finds her face warm and flustered, but filled with honest determination. "This is what I look like when I want to kiss you." Tilting his head, he leans forward to claim her lips. Finding her supple and willing, he tenderly draws her shivering body into his arms. The roundness of her breasts press against his clothing illicit a breathy moan from Byakuya's mouth. If only he could shed the burdens on his shoulders this very instant and glide over her body.

"Captain the report from captain Unohana is finally here!" Hinamori says darting into the room. "I-I-I have to start sending Hell Butterfly's!" Momo's turns around facing the long path of opened doors.

"It's fine Hinamori." Ichigo says feeling Byakuya haori wrap around her chest. "Do we know anything new?"

"It appears Rukia-san did not suffer a head wound. But all her other injuries are identical to yours."

"How identical?" Byakuya asks turning to take the haori back from Ichigo as she puts the top of her robes back on.

"100% They completely overlap. The same length and depth. Like it's the same-"

"A proxy." He interrupts the lieutenant, looking over at Ichigo. "Someone is reliving the attack made on Ichigo over and over."

"Why would anyone wanna do that?" Ichigo asks in a low whisper feeling a shadow creeping up on her. That kinda thing... it's just someone must really hate her, to want to hurt her over and over again.

"More importantly, why wouldn't they kill Kuchiki-san?" Momo adds with a sober expression. "Forgive me Captain, but... According to the data Rukia-san faced her attacker. She certainly saw who it was that-"

"Rukia's in danger because of me. Because of something _I _did. Byakuya tell me what I did?"

"No, Ichigo. Stop and think." Byakuya nods for Hinamori to leave and soon as the door shut he pulls Ichigo's chin up to lock their gazes. "You can not take responsibility for this. I will _not_ allow you the luxury of wallowing. It's pointless and will not help us catch the person who did this. So calm down and focus."

"R-Right..." Looking down at the floor of the changing room Ichigo struggles to clear her mind. _"What did I do? What could-" _Her thoughts stop, Byakuya's hand tugs at her palm setting something inside. "Byakuya?"

"Hurry and decide."

"Hmm?" Opening her hand she sees Tsukishima's engagement ring and instantly flusters. "I-I-I!"

But she looks up finding him gone. "Byakuya... you make it sound so effortless." Leaning against the wall she exhales a long sigh. "But it's hard to just let somethings go."

"Captain~!" Momo pops through the double doors with a grin. "He likes the breasts! I'm so glad for you!"

"Hinamori..."

"Um, yes?"

"Does Soul Society have a file on me somewhere? And where would they keep it?"

"Well, They do, but it would be in the Great Library."

"Awesome, That's where we are going." Ichigo says, dragging Momo behind her. _"Byakuya... you and your diaries. You made sure I wouldn't go fishing for information. I know you left something out. You can't just pick and choose what truth to give me like my sister did."_

* * *

><p>Hey all, Here is the update I hope you like it. I wanna say I'm sorry for not answering your reviews ; ; I value them so much, but the longer I'm on the computer The more my leg hurts, so I will reply here with a big THANK YOU ALL! =D I love you all!<p> 


	12. Path of Regrets

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Antebellum**_

_**One need not be a chamber to be haunted;  
>One need not be a house;<br>The brain has corridors surpassing  
>Material place.<br>~Emily Dickinson, "Time and Eternity"**_

_**Chapter 12; Path of Regrets**_

"Hinamori, I'm getting the distinct feeling that we are being avoided." Ichigo grumbles, setting her chin into her palm and glaring at the stack of paperwork on her desk. Despite her best efforts her and Hinamori tried all night to get permission to enter the Great Archive only to be sent away. Four times! They made her wait there an hour, just to tell her no. EACH TIME! "Those Assholes!" Curling her fist in anger she punches her desk to hear the cracking sound or the wood. "Die! Die!"

"Not the desk!" Momo flash steps into the small office with a cup of hot tea and a tray of fruit. "I just got that one fixed!" she groans setting the tray on the desk with a frown. It's becoming clear that her current Captain needs 'handling' as Rukia once warned her.

"_Hinamori, I have some advice on how to deal with Ichigo."_

"_Oh, Yes! Please tell me anything that might help Captain Kurosaki!" her large eyes shin brightly with hope. "I want to get along with her~!"_

"_If Ichigo gets in a rut. Which will happen sooner or later. She is really pathetic when she wallows." Rukia raises a fist in the air and lifts her leg out. "You just have to use The Kuchiki Secret Intervention Technique Method for Ichigo Behavior Modification- or I.B.M. For short."_

"_What?" Hinamori's mouth drops open her eyes tilting to the side. Lifting a hand to her lips she fights laughing. Rukia-san actually created an acronym. _

"_Of course!" She lifts her head with a hint of pride. "It was Nii-sama's idea." She snaps her leg out lightening fast churning up dust under her heel."Make sure you cock your knee for maximum torque." _

"_Torque? L-lieutenant Kuchiki-san... I can't do that!" Waving her hands in front of her she quickly blocks out the idea. No no! That is simply out of the question._

Captain, you haven't slept all night. Have some breakfast. It'll clear your head and allow you to approach the problem from another angle. Or better yet, you go home and I will continue making requests on your behalf."

"I don't want too." Ichigo swishes her head to the right sticking out her lower lip.

"I brought you some tea." Hinamori's right eye begins to twitch. _"Ichigo-san stop being useless with this mood." _

"Tea just makes me jittery and when I'm jittery I get pissed off." Punch, punch, punch!

"Ah, Captain..." Setting the tray of food on a side table near a open window, Hinamori tries to block out the dull thud of the desk buckling under Ichigo's frustration. Punch...punch...punch! But it's no use, each crack and bend of the desk is a nail in her morning serenity. "D-Don't make me I.B.M. you!"

"Where?" Ichigo suddenly jerks up from the desk and grabs her ass. "What is I.B.M?" For some reason that phrase strikes a deep fear in her. A fear that is horribly painful. "Is someone going to throw a computer at me?"

"I have an idea!" Hinamori's fingers snap together. Clearing her throat Momo decides the only course of action is a different way to get the same result. "Why don't we ask another Captain to get your file for you? Someone they would never say no too. Someone like..."

"Ukitake-san!" Ichigo darts from the room instantly heading for the thirteenth division.

"The door..." Momo's hand smacks the desk. "was totally open. I just don't understand why she can't _step_ through it." The desk crumbles to the floor in a puff of dust. "Damn... I'm going to have to go ask for another one."

~/~

Moving toward a goal has always filled Ichigo's mind with such an excitement. Like crossing the finish line in a race her heart pounds loudest with the echoes of the past. Never once has she thought it should be any other way. However with pieces of her memory cut away she is lost at how to reach in and pull out enough determination to push through the obstacles.

Flash stepping to the large gate leading into Ugendo she touches her palm to her chest. Breathing seems difficult today. Her hands lifts to knock on the gate, but pauses. "I don't remember something important. Something Byakuya doesn't want me to find out." Somehow, in the deep crevasse between her thoughts gnaws a creeping shadow on her heart.

"I'm so fucked." she whispers lowering her hand. Stripped of her history she can't decide what's right. _"Byakuya... the truth is something I've never felt the need to know. I was always in the dark."_ Turning away from the large door she finds a dead end of an alley and slides down the wall to sit. She didn't mind being kept in the dark. Secrets about her mother, lies of omission, the shadows kept on changing around her constantly. Never tempted to ask, or question why a few details seemed strange, Ichigo was alright being in that darkness. "Fucked!" she punches at the ground making a wide long crack in the smooth stone under her. "Gah! I think I've gotten stronger!"

"I've always found your violent side rather sexy."

Looking up she winces for a moment at the bold sunlight blocking out her view. Tall and thin a shadow steps in front of her breaking the harsh rays and giving her a shelter to open her eyes wider. Instantly recognizing Tsukishima she exhales a curse under her breath as she stands up. "So you've caught up with me _Stalker-kun._"

"Stalker-kun?" Shrugging off her obvious distaste for his company Shukuro smiles with the right corner of his mouth. "Is this to be my pet name? Are we growing closer?" Yes, teasing her is something he deeply missed. Moving his dark eyes to her face he soaks in the hue of her blush like a private gift.

"Not at all!" Ichigo swishes past him heading for the larger doors of Ukitake's division. "See ya." A yank at her hair stops her in mid-step. "Get off the hair!" she barks, her face shifting into a scowl. "It's heavy and I can't even fix it, yet-"

"Then let's cut it." Tsukishima draws his blade, the quiet steel glinting in the light, before holding the blade up to her neck. "I've always liked your hair short and wild. Boldly free and unpretentious. It expresses everything I like about you."

Those eyes of his. They seem so cold. It's almost like... _"Killing Intent." _The reiatsu hovering around Ichigo changes slightly. "I'm sorry..." Ichigo whispers lifting the back of hand up to gently push away the sword. "But, I like it this way." Tapping the flat side of the blade she nudges it away from her neck.

"You mean '_he_' likes it. Right, Ichigo?"

"Yeah, Byakuya does like it." she admits with a small grin.

His eyes narrow. Even with all that time... that bastard still has some invisible link to her heart. _"I truly... utterly hate that man."_

"But I'm not keeping it long just to make him happy." Threading her hands through her hair, she yanks away the band keeping it off her neck. "My hair was growing the whole time the world was passing me by." Closing her eyes she lifts up her hands and feels the wind passing through each strand. Images come to her mind of it growing while the sun moves across her face. Day and night, over and over the cycle repeats at the same time as she lays on the futon asleep. Rukia or Byakuya occasionally kneel next to her and speak of daily events. They talk about things she is missing or read books they think she might like. "Although I slept, it grew. Despite my heart and mind remaining unchanged, this part of me flourished. Cutting it would be like throwing away all those years it gave to me."

"I see." he answers calmly, his vision brightening as the sunlight reflects the golden hues hidden on the deep orange locks. "It moved forward for you, even when you could not."

"Heh... That makes me sound really clever." Scratching at the back of her head she smiles a little wider. "But I'm just Ichigo after all."

This side, she rarely shows, and easily hides away is why he loved her. Still loves her. The ache pulls at him again. The pain, the agony of everything... "Will you come with me?" His hand moves quickly, grabbing her wrist. "I want to show you something."

Reasons for declining pop up one after another. She should work. She should sleep. Hell she should really freaking eat. And there is Byakuya. Would going with Tsukishima be an act of betrayal to him? But his expression flashes sad for a moment swaying her head to nod.

Taking her hand inside his palm they both start to flash step.

"What are you doing?"

Freezing in place at the sound of a very familiar voice Ichigo suddenly jerks her hand away from Tsukishima. "Byakuya?"

No...

...It feels wrong.

"_I shouldn't... have let him take my hand." _She has done something... is it dishonest? Filthy? No, it feels more like betrayal.

She.

Didn't.

Intend this at all.

Words fumble in Ichigo's mouth the only thing she manages to utter is, "Byakuya... I-" But he passes by her without so much as a glance.

"Tsukishima Shukuro, you will answer my question." Byakuya glares at the younger man with disdain and utter contempt.

"Do I really need to explain myself?" Shukuro is careful to lace his words with a carefree tone. Showing fear was never something he would do in battle. Why should he now? After all, he has fought this man before. But this time the stakes are even higher. It's unacceptable to fail on this mission. "I should think my goal here is clear."

The delibarate phrasing of Tsukishima's words make Byakuya's blood stir. Yes. He knows very well. "This morning I did some checking in the Great Library."

"_They let him in and not me! Those bastards!" _Ichigo's face contorts, but she hasn't time to complain the two men in front of her are looking at each other like bitter rivals in a battle.

"I wasn't surprised at what I found." Byakuya takes a step forward to make his stance square with Tsukishima. "You've peeked my interest."

"Ho? I'm afraid I don't swing that way _Captain_. I only have eyes for Ichi-chan."

Byakuya's eyes narrow. If this man keeps speaking he just might lose his composure, and that would make him do something Ichigo might despise him for.

"_He is mad. Tsukishima has made Byakuya very angry." _

"Let me be clear then. You quit being a shinigami. You have no reason to be in Seireitei. Leave now, never return, and I will look the other way."

"Bending the rules for me? How unlike you, Kuchiki-san. Has Ichigo's softness rubbed off on you?"

"I merely consider you Ichigo's guest." How distasteful. It digs at him. Stinging his pride to the very core. Again this man uses Ichigo as a shield for his short comings. "Guest passes are only granted for a week. If I see you in Seireitei after this time limit I will-"

"I get it." The thin man waves a hand in the air. "Ichigo, I will come for you tomorrow. Be ready."

Her large eyes shirt to Byakuya's civil and cool expression.

"_Hurry and decide." _

Recalling Byakuya's words the night before gives her a small smile. Of course he wouldn't be fazed by this. He seems perfectly confident, she will choose him. But Hinamori is right, One of these men will have to be put in _The Friend Zone_. "Um, Tsukishi-"

But he flash steps away before she can finish leaving her with Byakuya standing with his back to her. The alley seems to close in on her. How could she not boldly push through and chose? It is who she is. She is Ichigo. Anything, anytime, for her friends. But this isn't for them. It's about her life and it's terrifying. _"I don't know what to do." _

"Ichigo, come here for a moment."

"What is it?" Flicking an unsteady glance at his calm face she notices his teeth digging at his lower lip. That's weird. She 's never seen him make that kind of face. "What's wron-" Her mouth is suddenly claimed with a surprisingly forceful kiss. Her eyes widen for a second from the shock. _"I see... it does bother him." _Unprepared she stumbles backward ready to fall when arms warm and strong wrap around her, pulling her into his strong embrace. Byakuya's body is close to hers again. The clean crisp winter wind blusters up a cold breeze that tosses her hair. That unique scent of his skin fills up the corners of her mind. "_How is he able to push away all my fears and doubts so easily?" _

"Do you see what you have done to me? I'm so jealous I can't breathe." Byakuya gasps in desperation his mouth traveling to her neck to kiss. "I've never felt this way in my life. I thirst for your lips..." His mouth envelops hers so softly, so briefly, he feels her head lean towards him when he pulls away. "I crave your touch..." Slipping his hands down her back he caresses her hips. "Ichigo, I hunger for your love above anything I've ever wanted in my life."

Feeling the impact of his words make her hands clinch with regret. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." she whispers clinging to him, her fingers digging into his haori. She wants to hold him closer, and closer, to turn her ear towards his damp lips so the wind doesn't snatch away the precious words sealing the dark cavities in her heart. _"Byakuya... I'm a little slow but, I really get it now." _She lifts up on her tiptoes and nuzzles his cheek with her own. _"I... made a choice. Something difficult..."_ That's right. Each and every action he has made in his life has always had purpose. She finally gets it. Why he went through the effort to keep her in the dark. _" It came with a terrible price...and you are trying to protect me from __the regret of it." _Hidden within the hollow crags of her mind the weight of his choices spark a reality. "Byakuya, I-"

"I thought I felt your reiatsu." Ukitake appears around the corner of the alley with a warm smile. "Oh... I've in-inter- I'll just- um... well." He turns red and stutters over his words at the sight of the two together. "Lieutenant Hinamori said you might be coming by. Did you find the answer you were looking for?"

Ichigo's gaze returns to Byakuya's. The path to move forward is now clear. "Yes" she replies with a smile. "I did."

"Good for you then." Juushiro waves goodbye and vanishes back inside his division for tea and maybe some pineapple upside down cake. He feels like celebrating. It's not everyday that you get to actually witness the moment two people figure out they are in love. _"How nice... very nice."_

"So you've decided?"

"I have." She says tilting her head to the right and letting the precious feelings in her heart kindle. "I'm going to let you take care of me.

"I'm glad." he whispers, his voice breaking with an overwhelming relief. All the years of waiting. Months and years of waiting to give her everything pile up on him. All the choices he has made. Finally he is rewarded with the thing he wants. "I'm so glad." Trembling with thankfulness he snatches her away in a bold flash step.

"_So I've decided to love this man, and let him protect me from the secrets of my past that might hurt me. I may never remember the mistakes I've made. I may never recall the moment I first loved him... but I'm gonna do my best, for the remainder of my life, to show him my love. So my hands aren't left with only the remnants of regret."_

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><p><em><strong>Hey all here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it! Once more I wanna thank all the people supporting this story and me during my health issues. Please look forward to the next chapter and a chapter of Karma coming out soon. HUGS Fuzzi<strong>  
><em>


	13. Ichi no Torii

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Antebellum**_

**_"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out." ~Anton Chekhov_**

"So you've decided?"

"I have." She says tilting her head to the right and letting the precious feelings in her heart kindle. "I'm going to let you take care of me.

"I'm glad." he whispers, his voice breaking with an overwhelming relief. All the years of waiting. Months and years of waiting to give her everything pile up on him. All the choices he has made. Finally he is rewarded with the thing he wants. "I'm so glad." Trembling with thankfulness he snatches her away in a bold flash step.

_"So I've decided to love this man, and let him protect me from the secrets of my past that might hurt me. I may never remember the mistakes I've made. I may never recall the moment I first loved him... but I'm gonna do my best, for the remainder of my life, to show him my love. So my hands aren't left with only the remnants of regret."_

_**Chapter 13; Ichi no Torii **_

A Nobel Prize winning poet once said 'All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.' She read the quote in one of the books in Byakuya's library and thought about the void in her own heart._"Is that the value of a life filled with memories?" _Ichigo ponders as they make their way towards an unknown destination. Is it possible for someone like her to live a life filled with more than pain?

The bold midday sun passes quickly over Ichigo, the sky is barren but for the large round sun. Only empty blue with hints of yellow gold... so much like the years that were stolen from her... and nothing to suggest the storm inside her own mind.. While nestled lovingly in Byakuya's side images of past battles flicker like seconds on film. _"I've only fought for other people..."_ She stands outside the scenes observing her behavior. _"What about for myself?" _The sword always comes down firmly, pain is the one constant in her life. How does all the struggle go away and be replaced so easily by the softness of Byakuya's voice? _"Can I fight for my own happiness?" _Looking up at his calm expression she only feels warmth pushing out the brisk arid winter winds blustering at her long orange hair. "Byakuya... I-"

"Give me your hand." Byakuya says, setting his feet down on a patch of grass near a pavilion in the Kuchiki estate. "This way." Pulling her behind him he leads them to a walled area with an elaborate old gate. "We need to discuss the future." he tells her, pushing open the large double doors leading to a vast grassy area with a long walkway.

"Everything will change." she says staring up at the blank sky. "I-I'm not-"

"Come inside, and then we can talk about it."

"Alright." stepping past the large wooden doors they walk up a cobblestone path hugged by tall trees. Flicking her gaze around she sees a row of brilliant red Torii leading up a hill with carved stone steps. "Are we going to a shrine? I'm not really dressed for that and I should take a ba-" She stops as Byakuya turns around with a rather serious expression on his face. "I'll be quiet now." Tilting her head down, she blushes with guilt for not sensing his mood.

"I do not mind." Byakuya sets a hand on her shoulder, comforting her rattled nerves. It's understandable that she is feeling uneasy, she just decided to stop poking into her past. Abandoning the truth is can be scary, especially when it's Ichigo. She is bright and sweet, but also a person who takes everything personal. The more closely she guards her feelings about something, the heavier it weighs on her. "Tell me how you feel about everything and I will listen always listen... always." he repeats with a crackling sound in his voice. The most unlikely thing happened just a four minutes ago. Ichigo is next to him by her own choice. It feels ephemeral, like any minute she will vanish from his fingers and go back to sleep leaving him to an endless empty dream. Every pore in his body is aching to latch onto her shoulders and clutch her to his chest. _"Say you are mine... say it and I'll believe." _Clearing his throat he guides her over to wash their hands and mouths then walk past the next building and up the stairs into the heart of the shrine.

Despite his reassurance she grows quiet walking through the shrine just behind his tall shape. The sights around her are lost in the dead silence of the room. Focusing on the floor everything is blocked out until he stops walking and she bumps into his back. "Oof." Looking through her bangs she sees the shrine of his parent's, and instantly her stomach tightens with nerves. _"Why... did he bring me here?" _This is a place of respect, a place of remembrance and most of all the final resting place of the people who gave Byakuya life. Death lingers heavily on her, bringing with it pain and overwhelming guilt. _"On you too Byakuya..."_

"Mother, Father... this is Ichigo." Byakuya says reaching behind and taking the shivering woman's hand. "I love her." he says firmly, without a hint of doubt that it makes Ichigo's eyes widen in shock. "I am going to make her a part of the family." Tugging Ichigo in front of him he takes her hand in his and bows to show his respect.

Ichigo quickly follows him, bowing in a daze over his words too afraid to speak and say something foolish.

"Once again, I'm faced with breaking my word to you. I did not choose a woman from the same social class. For the second... _time_..." his voice cracks, dropping to his knees he bows deep placing his palms on the polished hardwood floor. "But it can not be helped. I love her, and_ beg_ for you to allow this one indulgence."

"_Byakuya..." _Ichigo's mind churns with turmoil over his sudden change in emotion.

"Father you told me once that I should choose one thing I like above all others to make my vice. For the remainder of my days... Ichigo _IS _my vice. I will only love her."

"_B-Byakuya... why?" _It doesn't feel right to see him this way.

"I am happy to accept any punishment. If you will only let me have her."

"_No... don't do this for me. You shouldn't-" _Her heart starts to pound, it's deafening... the many shrine's stare at her from across the room, their cold eyes... cut into her seeing her every weakness. _"This weight... it's too much. What if I screw it up?" _ Their silent accusations flare up stabbing at her consciousness until she feels the muscles in her legs shake.

"Mother, look upon her with kindness. Ichigo will be the mother of my children."

"_No... I'm clumsy.. headstrong, and reckless! I screw up more than I get right."_

"Can you see the wonders in her eyes and give us your blessing?" Rising from the floor he clutches Ichigo's hand in his. "Ichigo will shape the future of the Kuchiki bloodline."

"_He wants to marry me and have a family." _His words hit her bittersweet. The silence stretches out, tugging at Ichigo's thin lips to speak her thoughts. However, nothing in her swirling thoughts can equal the precious emotions Byakuya just exposed. _"I've never seen this side of you, Byakuya."_

Is she capable answering his confession with as much honesty and passion? In the end, she chooses to stay quiet, weighed down by the overwhelming burdens of being the person he loves.

~/~

After a modest late lunch, Byakuya leaves Ichigo at the doorway to the bathhouse with the promise he will return soon as his work for the day is finished.

Giving him a small smile, she watches him vanish around an unknown corner of the vast grounds before slipping inside the changing room for a much needed bath.

"I still didn't say anything..." Dipping her body lower into the hot water she feels drained and tired. "Ugh! Why couldn't I say something!" her hands splash at the water in frustration. Sucking in a deep breath she sinks down to the bottom of the large bath to sit.

"_Tch, you getting all scared over that pretty boy? You make me sick!" _

Her breath catches in her throat at the familiar sound of the hollow within stirring in her blood. _"Y-You... are you still here?"_

"_Sorry to disappoint you... but I'm a part of you, a part of Zangetsu. I'll **never **die."_

"_Why..."_ her lips curl in anguish at his mocking tone. Will she ever see eye- to-eye with this art of herself? _"Everyone seems to have all the answers."_ she says looking up through the water to see a shadow creeping over the surface. _"I hate it."_

"_But, I ain't your enemy anymore, Ichigo I put away that shit years ago." _The hollow sneers knocking at a large empty sounding place inside her as his foot kicks at the waters surface.

"_Even though you feel disconnected from this place, never forget we are by your side." _Zangetsu says his deep rich voice echoing like drops of water in her soul.

"_Ichigo..." _Tensa finally speaks up his youthful sound radiating with the other two voices into a harmonious resonance. _"We exist to protect you." _

"_Who is that?"_ she tilts her head at a new shadow, this one... is strange. His feet slide through the water, approaching her. _"You are so young..."_

"_Tensa Zangetsu..." _

"_Fuck, I've got a another one..." _Swiping a hand down her face she doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. _"Guys, this is getting out of hand!" _

The fractured pieces of her soul begin to whisper.

"_The part of you that rages..."_

_ "The part of you that guides..."_

_ "And the part of you that protects..."_

_ "We are your blade." _The shadows all mold together until one man is left staring at her with bold blue eyes, long white hair, and wearing a tapered cape that seems to block out the sunlight. Reaching a strong arm into the water Zangetsu grabs her by the shoulder, his face serious with a hint of pain in his eyes. _"Thrive! We believe in you, Ichigo!"_

"_You are right, Zangestu." _Ichigo wraps her arms around him, pulling him close. _"I won't be alone anymore."_ It's decided. She chose. There is no reason to resist, not a single excuse is good enough to remain alone.

Her head bursts forth from the surface of the water in a sudden gasp of air, giving her a cleansing deep breath, oxygen filling her lungs. "I need to think about my future." But before that, she climbs out of the bath and dresses with determination. She isn't shattered, even her broken parts have found a way to be whole again. Pulling on a simple lavender yukata with large white flowers adoring it, she combs out her hair while shoving her feet in a pair of soft pink slippers, so quickly she almost trips over her own feet.

Shoving open the door, she darts from the room and flash steps with Zangetsu on her back. She has something to say, a lot to say, and she is ready to tell him. Arriving seconds later she pops through Byakuya's office window. "Yo!"

"What are you..." Byakuya blinks at her perched in the window wearing a light purple yukata. She looks fresh like spring, her hair long and wild, even with her large black blade on her back. Silently her feet touch the hardwood floor, her smile and the hint of pink speaks to him of her intent. "Renji, you can finish you work tomorrow."

"Captain, I can get it done in another fifteen-"

"It can wait." Byakuya says sharply without moving his eyes from her shape walking towards his desk. His hand lifts out to grab her but he pulls it back remembering Renji is in the room. "Get out, Abarai."

"Ok, o-" Renji, finally looking up from his stack of work orders sees Ichigo in the room. His jaw drops open in shock. "W-Wow..." he starts to whistle only to get a chilling glare from Byakuya. "Oh..." His dark eyes shift from Byakuya to Ichigo and then back to Byakuya. So it's like that. "Oh... see you later!"

Soon as the door shuts Ichigo's hand lifts behind her to curl her finger around the hilt of Zangetsu. Byakuya watches her intently, marveling at how she can look so delicate in that yukata, and yet deadly capable with a weapon in her palm.

Tugging her sword away from her back, Ichigo walks slowly over to a bookcase, lightly setting the blade on a stand that looks like it was designed for that very sword. Turning around she joins Byakuya at his desk, slipping between his long legs to sit on his lap. She doesn't speak, just looks at him, admiring his deep blue eyes, and the strong jawline that draw attention to his mouth. Lifting up she slowly tilts her head, grazing her lips over his. Instantly her body warms.

Feathery light, and soft his lips are captivated. Ichigo's kiss is gentle, sweetly nudging at his lower lip revealing her feelings so perfectly he is satisfied. A fragile caress like velvet against his mouth of devotion. A tender touch of desire as her fingers lift to touch his cheeks, sending chills over his arms. To know affection with her, to feel it with her... "Ichigo." he whispers cupping the back of her head with a hand and sliding his free hand down her back lightly edging her closer.

"Hmm?" she replies with a teasing grin keeping her lips barely from touching his.

"Again... So I know I'm not dreaming."

Nodding she curls her arms around his shoulders and kisses him again and again with the same softness. Her body blazing up in a sweet frustration rubs against his chest. It feels good being here with him, like lovers. That seems ok. Ichigo wouldn't mind it, if it's him.

Tilting her body towards his desk he breaks the kiss only to nuzzle his mouth into the curve of her throat. Her gasp, and the light moan from her vibrates against his lips igniting his passion. His head moves lower, nudging open the part in her yukata, his lips finding silky fragrant skin to lavish with kisses. He wants her. Needs everything about her.

The door to his office unexpectedly slides open and a tall man stands there in disbelief. He heard the rumors but didn't believe it. The leader of his clan has actually taken a lover for the first time in decades. "Byakuya-sama, I've come to inform you that Rukia-san has vanish from the hospital. But I see you are per-occupied by some..._ thing_ else."

Ichigo darts from his lap to a corner of the room to stare at a picture on the wall. _"Shit! It's like being busted in high school by old-man Yoshida." _That wrinkle-ridden janitor used to know every damn time she was late for third period! And she was positive he would get high down in the boiler room!

"Thank you for taking the time to inform me, Elder Takeda-san." Byakuya says in a cool tone fully aware that his cousin is staring at Ichigo a little too closely. "Ichigo.." he lifts a hand waiting for her to return to his side and soon as she does he takes her hand and walks out of the room leaving the interloper to scoff in his office. _"Choose your words carefully cousin. Or you will see a side of me few have."_

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><p><em><strong>Hey all! A new chapter! I hope you like it and review for me! LOVE Fuzzi<strong>  
><em>


	14. Towers and Trials

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Antebellum**_

"_**Each day I live in a glass room unless I break it with the thrusting of my senses and pass through the splintered walls to the great landscape." ~Mervyn Peake**_

_**Chapter 14; Of Towers and Trials**_

When you are a perfectionist you spend vast amounts of time examining each aspect of your life like pieces of a wooden tower. A mother dies bringing you into the world, a wife wilts unable to live with her guilt, a sister is found and puts herself on a cross to feel connected, you rise, you fall... you fail to protect any of them. The mistakes always pile up, the thin blocks fitting neatly next to each other until you run out of wooden squares. But even in the organized chaos you can't let it go. Your hand picks up the oldest failures from the bottom of the stack, to place them one at a time on the top of the wobbling fortress. Before you know it, the never ending cycle creates a citadel of grime.

So you see, you aren't allowed to forget. The tower keeps rising until a shadow creeps over your face eclipsing any kind of happiness you might experience. Living with all that darkness is almost impossible. To cope you start to make promises, to yourself, to your family, to make up for the things you lack. The only problem is... even if you do something right. It feels like you could have done more. Every detail matters, when you try to reach for the ideal solution. Until, at long last a breaking point occurs and the stack comes tumbling down spilling a lifetime of sins at your feet.

Failure can be more painful than the satisfaction of victory. How do you wash it away the bitterness and allow yourself to be happy? The answer was incredibly simple to Byakuya: Ichigo_ is _happiness. Being near her for several years, and then watching her sleep made him realize how much he longed for her.

Tonight, Byakuya moves through the Kuchiki manor without knowing where or why Rukia vanished. Soon as he left his office upon being notified by his cousin he traveled to the Relief Station to hear the news of Rukia's disappearance from Captain Unohana in person. Ichigo, who remained by his side through the whole thing appeared quietly distraught. _"Why didn't you return home, Rukia?"_

With his mind spinning in a fog of answer-less questions he feels for Ichigo's presence. _"There you are." _Questions always leave him unsettled, the simple act of thinking of her puts his mind at ease. Even when she slept those many years, when Byakuya felt troubled or unsure about a decision he was about to make he would slip into her room and hold her hand. The warmth of her hand in his and the calming expression on her face soothed him in ways he will never speak of to anyone.

Now he walks towards his private rooms after a soothing bath. Lifting a hand to slide the door open he pauses feeling a subtle presence beyond the door. Somehow he always finds his way back to her, or maybe she finds him. Slipping through the door Byakuya's eyes dart to the long curtain of orange flowing down her back against the simple pink and mauve stripped pajamas set she is wearing. There she sits on a cushion with a white blanket draped over her thin body and a cup of hot tea in her hand.

"I know I'm in your room," she tells him without tuning to look at him. "but I just felt like being here." Wanting to get a feel for him in a place he relaxed in brought her here an hour ago. The things about Byakuya that seem mysterious and ephemeral last night in the shrine all melted away the moment she came into his room. Here, his smell and the view of the water garden settled her nervousness. All that she had in life is stripped away, so she has to find a place to plant her feet on the ground.

"And what does it feel like?" he asks settling into a cushion next to her.

"It's strange." Ichigo says, leaning her weight on her left arm and sipping her tea as she looks out the open doors of his room. This side of his rooms has the outer glass walls protecting the house, keeping out the fresh snow and outside traffic of the late afternoon. "No, that's not what I meant to say at all." she adds quickly, raking a hand through her hair roughly. What can she say that will be equal to his confession?

"Tell me when the words come to you." Byakuya finds a place next to her and settles into a cushion to watch the sunset. "I will not push you."

"You said I could tell you anything, right?"

Nodding calmly, he fights the tightening in his throat. Women have always been fragile things to Byakuya. They feel everything so deep and refuse to use logic to cope with difficult emotions. But Ichigo is so brave and relentless, he struggles with the right ways to handle her. How many sunsets will he have with her at his side? He just doesn't know. So he will take what he can and leave the rest up to her. _"If you do not return my feelings... and feel overwhelmed like Hisana... I may never recover." _Reaching a hand out to her hair he gently lifts a lock of hair to tuck it behind her ear. _"However, I have too much pride to force my heart on another woman. I must be patient."_

"I've been doing some thinking about myself and the kind of person I really am." Ichigo feels the blanket fall from her shoulders as she turns to face him. "I'm always running, aren't I Byakuya?"

"I... can only say. I wish to be the person you run to."

"I know..." she gives him a tender smile, the sunlight is warming all the places on his face that she once found concealed with shadows. Warmth is something she only expressed, but now here is this noble person full of so much desire he can barely sit next to her without touching her in some small way. She wants to give, she wants to share, and she wants to receive anything from him that he is willing to give. "I can't keep doing everything on my own anymore. It's dangerous, isn't it?"

"Yes, but I am no longer impartial towards you." He replies lifting the blanket up and covering her with it. "And you aren't as isolated as you once were, Ichigo." Her body suddenly scoots into his side, her head finding a small crook on his shoulder to rest. "You can count on me."

That's it. The feeling that is lingering just under her skin... is that she isn't alone anymore in her battles. "It's such a relief." she exclaims, letting the tears fall down her face. "Ugh, why am I crying?" swiping her sleeve against her face, she tries to push away the breaking in her heart. "It's so stupid, right?"

Looking to him for acceptance means she cares, she is opening up to him, and that feels so incredible. Tightening his arm around her waist he pulls her as close as possible. "You aren't stupid." is all he can say without letting his feelings escape and risk pushing at her too much.

They watch the sun vanishing behind the horizon together in the same place. Eventually her body goes limp and he carries her to bed. She's been awake for almost two days after all and in that time she has managed to leap towards him. _"In this way too, you exceed my expectations." _Pulling the covers over her body, he stands to look at her in the western style bed of her room. Never once, wanting anything so much, he climbs in the bed next to her careful to keep to one side and ponders the next steps until sleep claims him.

~/~

The following morning, Ichigo is sitting at her desk stewing over a giant stack of paperwork. "Hinamori, I don't get it. If I just have to sign them... then why can't I use a stamp or something."

"Oh, you need the stamp too." Momo produces a small stamp and pad from Ichigo's desk. "Sign and stamp!"

"Gah! Why didn't you tell me already!" Ichigo pulls the second pile back over the the center of her desk. "I gotta start all over."

"I forgot... You don't have all your memories."

"Well... I don't envy you for being my vice-captain, Momo." Ichigo scratches at her pony tailed hair with a smile. "I'm a noob so please take care of-" Looking over to Momo's glazed expression she rises from her chair to put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"Captain... Aizen... the Captain... isn't my captain anymore! I'm Captain Aizen's lieutenant! Not yours! Not yours!" Turning on the ginger-haired woman she pulls out her sword and lightening fast swipes at her. "It's YOUR fault! You took him from me!"

"Whoa! Hinamori!" Ichigo takes a step back only to feel a cut on her cheek. Her eyes widen and Ichigo grabs Momo's arms by the wrists. "Wait a minute here. I.. I'm not-"

"You should be in prison not my captain! You came here and changed everything! YOU SHOULD BE THE ENEMY!"

"I-I know... I'm sorry Hinamori." Ichigo holds the trembling young girl to her chest letting her tears seep into her shinigami uniform. There is nothing she can say- she read what happened, the things she did. And in the end Aizen's capture was due to her using that Final Getsuga. "But he is alive, and maybe one day... you will see him again." The words don't seem to be enough to satisfy even Ichigo. The pain in her eyes is so real, the desperation and the sounds of her crying so heart-wrenching that Ichigo lifts a hand over the girls wild eyes and covers them. Almost as if she knows exactly what to do a spell activates and dark purple flowers fall over her as Momo goes limp in her arms. This pain is a weight Ichigo will carry.

Picking her up she flash steps to the relief station and looks around for Captain Unohana. People stop suddenly and look at her with shocked faces. "Um... I'm Ichigo-"

"Captain Kurosaki-san, please come into this room." Isane finally says, lifting an arm towards the long hallway. "Quickly before she wakes."

"Right... okay." Nurses and medics alike all part as Ichigo walks down the hallway with Momo in her arms. _"Why are they looking at me like that?" _Led to a simple room with a bed and covered with white cushions she lays Momo down on the bed in a daze of confusion. _"I did this to her... I've made Hinamori so sad."_

Pale blue light erupts from Isane's hands snaking to Hinamori's arms and legs binding her to the bed. "Why are you doing that?" Ichigo says stepping towards the brown-haired girl covered in a layer of sweat. "Turn it off!"

"We can not do that Ichigo-san." Unohana says entering the room silently. "It is for her protection and yours."

"She hurts herself?" Turning to face Unohana, Ichigo's face washes with grief. "How can I help her?"

"The mind control over Vice-captain Hinamori is too strong to break." Retsu says putting a hand on Ichigo's cheek to heal the bleeding cut on her face, but the strong willed woman moves away. "Pain always remains even if we heal the surface."

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me." The anguish is too much to put away. You can't take back the past, no matter how much you apologize... it's still there to choke at you. "Unohana-san... what do I do to make Hinamori's pain go away?"

"There is nothing you can do." Unohana walks over to Hinamori and begins to try and calm her rippling reiatsu. "This girls actions, while on the surface, only appear to be your fault. They are the result of her own weakness and _That Person_. Do you think yourself so important to take their sins as your own?" she says lifting her blue eyes in Ichigo's direction. She is being harsh, but the only way to help everyone involved is to break Ichigo's delusion that she is responsible.

"That's not-" Taking a step back she bumps into the wall behind her. "I-I.." Her throat closes up and fear sprinkles her forehead with sweat. Does she really think like this? _"But I was only trying to-"_ Images flicker in her mind; Aizen's face splitting into-something horrible, monstrous... lunatic words and desperate machinations. The chaotic scene bleeds into black as their blades collide. Then silence... _"No... it's loneliness." _The same emotions that Ichigo felt when Momo dropped into her arms.

"We will look after Hinamori-san."

"Right... thank you Unohana-san." she whispers darting from the room. The pain in her belly streaks to her head sending a wave of nausea over her. She manages to make it outside and around the building before retching behind a row of shrubs. _"Aizen was just alone..."_

~/~

Sometime around noon Byakuya's office door opens and a petite blonde appears in the doorway with a basket looped on her right arm. Her appearance is not a welcome sight. "Hoshino, Suzu-san, what brings you to my office?" he asks setting a file down on his desk and closing it.

"Good day Byakuya-sama." The young woman pats the basket with a hand while giving Byakuya a smile. "I've brought you lunch. I hope you are hungry." Walking over to his desk she begins to unpack food. "I spent all morning cooking up a feast."

"Did my family ask you to do this?" His eyes narrow at the blush filling her cheeks.

"Your cousin, Takeda-san asked me to take care of you." Suzu places a small dish on the desk and sets a cup on top of a saucer. "He said you were needing the company of a proper lady. I'm so honored to be requested. "

"I'll... just be going to lunch then." Renji says darting out the door to escape before his Captain flips out. _"Goddamn it! He is going to be pissed the rest of the day, and I was hoping to ask off early to go to the human world and eat some Chinese food." _Turning a corner he bumps into someone. On reflex he reaches out and grabs their hand to keep them from falling.

"Fuck, Renji. Just knock me over next time..."

"_I know this voice." _That is when he realizes the person he has rammed into is Ichigo. "Hey Ichigo. How you feelin'? All ready to kick someone's ass I bet."

"Only one person comes to mind." she scowls yanking her hand away from him.

"Tch, save it for the chick in Byakuya's office." He gives her a wide grin. "A _HOT_ chick. I'd rate her about a habanero, but you are just Tabasco."

"A hot chick?" her mouth drops open in disbelief. "Yeah right." This is Byakuya we are talking about. He isn't the type to have some chick in his room. "Whatever..." Ichigo walks down the hall and flings open the door to Byakuya's office. "Hi Bya-" Freezing in place, she stops in the doorway in disbelief. "Holy Miss Gold Star... it's a Barbie in a kimono." Fuck! And she said that out loud. Ichigo curls a hand into her haori feeling suddenly under-dressed. "I'll... just be going now..." She turns around trying to block out the shimmering red kimono decorated with flowers. Oh and the blonde, yes the very pretty blonde standing next to her... sorta boyfriend... _"Can I call him that yet?" _ Well, she should! They kiss and kiss more _and_ sleep in the same bed. Even though there isn't any sex yet, there could be sex! Lots of sex!_"Maybe I should tell Miss Gold... THAT!"_

"You must be Ichigo-san." Suzu gives a dainty bow. "Byakuya-sama was just telling me about you."

"He did?" Ichigo blinks in shock flicking her eyes from the Shiny One to Byakuya's indifferent expression. He... doesn't seem to be affected by the Shiny. That's good. Well hell. He always has that kinda look on his face. That stoic glare doesn't tell her shit. "That's Byakuya... really really polite."

"Byakuya-sama is very lucky to have found someone so pretty and cheerful." The small blonde lifts her basket from the desk and scoots to the door. "If you need help with the wedding. Please think of me!" Giving one last bow she winks at Ichigo. "Princesses need to stick together, after all."

"Well... Byakuya and I aren't-"

"Thank you, Hoshino-san. " Byakuya finally speaks shooting Ichigo a quick glance. "I will be sure to instruct Ichigo to call upon you for assistance."

"I'm so excited! I'm an only child and I've always wanted to throw a wedding party for a sister!" The tiny blonde smiles with a warmness that takes Ichigo by surprise.

"_She doesn't seem so bad." _Ichigo waves at the girl as she passes Renji lingering in the hallway.

"I can carry that basket for you Hoshino-san." Abarai smoothly lifts his arm to help her try not to trip over his tongue. _"She's so tiny and cute!"_

"Renji called you a _hot_ chick, Suzu-san. And compared you to a vegetable." Ichigo says with a toothy grin conveniently ignoring Renji's 'go die you bitch' glare. "HAHA!" Serves him right for down rating her!

Soon as the door shuts Byakuya grabs Ichigo pulling her into his arms. "I have a very important question to ask you, Ichigo."

"Y-Yeah?" she sucks in a deep breath. It sounds like he is going to ask THAT question. You know the one that means buying a dress and walking down an aisle and all that. _"Ah, shit! I'm not prepared for this. I'm not even comfortable calling him my boyfriend. He is so far ahead of me it's unfair."_

"Will you... go to lunch with me? I'm starving."

"Oh, thank god." she exhales the trapped air in her lungs with a sense of relief. "Sure!"

"What did you think I was going to ask?" He tugs her chin to look at him with a finger and the bold gash on her cheek surprises him. "You're hurt."

"It's nothing..."

"This is Lieutenant Hinamori's doing. I can feel the reiatsu still burning at yours."

"Don't worry about it." She pleads in a unconvincing tone taking a step back. "So, lunch?"

"I believe, I already asked for a date with you." Tsukishima says appearing in the office doorway. "Shall we go, Ichigo?" Reaching out a hand he waits for her to slide her hand in his.

"Oh." she jumps slightly away from Byakuya and laughs nervously. "Give me just a minute, Tsukishima?"

"I will meet you at the gate." he replies before vanishing.

"Rain check on that lunch, ok?" With a carefree wave Ichigo turns toward the door. "Don't worry. I promise not to have any fun." she says with a playful wink.

"May I expect you for dinner?"

"I promise~!"

Tilting his head he walks to the window to watch Ichigo running out of his division. Her steps increasing quicker and quicker the further she gets from the division gate. Then in a puff of cloudy dust they both flash steps away, her reiatsu showing her going in the opposite direction of the senkaimon. Shutting his eyes Byakuya feels her soul rippling with new worries and fears like another plank in a impenetrable tower going up around her heart. _"The person you are now, Ichigo... Isn't the same one who fell in love with that person." _Does ignorance of sin grant you mercy? How can she believe herself responsible for events that she herself doesn't remember? Her past should remain a secret lost in antebellum, so it doesn't cause a scar on her heart.

Walking out of the office he passes Renji and the group he is laughing with during his lunch break. This afternoon he will search for Rukia instead of attending to his Captain duties. Logically it's irresponsible as a Captain, but as a brother... and the one who loves Ichigo, it's perfectly acceptable. It makes perfect sense.

* * *

><p>Hey all! Here is the next chapter. I want to thank all my new readers and my faithful ones too! Please everyone send me a review to tell me what you think! Love Fuzzi<p> 


	15. Acceptable Risk

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Antebellum**_

"_**You must give up the life you had planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you." ~Joseph Campbell**_

_**Chapter 15; Acceptable Risk**_

Being raised as the Kuchiki heir afforded Byakuya many luxuries. Despite the wealth, privilege and the best education, growing up a Kuchiki also came with the heaviest obligations. He always understood this, and never looked beyond what was required of him. Accept once. His love for Hisana. When he saw her everything became a battle. Perhaps it was his naiveté or his stubbornness that made him refuse to give her up. Looking back on it now, he is shocked at how close he came to loosing the support of the elders and how he struggled in silence to appease everyone.

He worked day and night to become worthy of the family, to be what they wanted, and he wanted it too. To be that shinning Prince everyone could look up too.

But then Ichigo arrived with her unapologetic nature, shaking his world and belief system to it's core. She slowly took more of the weight off his shoulders, restored his place as brother with Rukia and gave him a push to be more.

"_I'm sorry.. I still don't understand! If it were MY sister, I'd fight the law!" _

Now it's natural to Byakuya to want to ease the burdens on her shoulders too. It feels right to help her, to be near her. How could he not love the woman who showed him what the meaning of family really is? _"I was seeking..."_

"Hey Captain!" Renji darts up behind Byakuya with a drink in his hand. "Was that Ichigo I just saw running off with Tsukishima?"

"Indeed." The noble replies with a soft voice turning away from Renji's stupefied expression to depart for Rukongai. _"I was longing..."_

"Why are you letting her run off with him?"

Byakuya's fingers clench into fists at being questioned. He still doesn't like to be second guessed in his choices. "It's an acceptable risk."

"I don't get it. I would keep that woman under lock and key. Hell I'd put one of those GPS chips in her butt and know where she is at all times." he says with a loud cackle.

"Tell me Renji..." he pauses to let his hands unclench. "Do you recall when you first considered Ichigo a friend?"

"Um..." Renji lifts a hand to his head to scratch out the answer. "I can't say I do. Bein' her friend was something the just kinda happened."

"I remember the precise moment." Byakuya shifts his weight ready to flash step, the thousands of reiatsu's around him don't have an effect on him like the one that just vanished through a senkaimon near the twelfth division. Tsukishima must have used the portal near Urahara Kisuke's office to take Ichigo to the human world. _"I'm concerned. That man may corner you, Ichigo. He was always the type to enjoy provoking those around him. Be careful."_

"Captain?"

"Ichigo... " he answers clearing his dry throat. "she went out of her way to make it clear. Saying 'How about it, Captain Kuchiki? Friends?'"

"Hmm." In silence he ponders Ichigo's actions and lifts his lips to smile. "She never even asked me that. We just had the same goals during the same time."

"It was for my benefit." Byakuya replies, then flash steps to Rukongai leaving Renji behind in a tiny cloud of dust. _"I couldn't hide my emptiness from you."_

"Yeah, captain..." Abarai turns back to the table with his friends overlooking the fact that Byakuya didn't really answer his question. Why? Why does a man the very symbol of control let the woman he loves dart away with her old boyfriend. If it were him... well it's not him though and that is alright. For the first time Renji understands the bond between those too. _"I get it. She challenged you, but she challenged all of us. Captain, you are the one who loved her for it."_

~/~

Home is supposed to be that place you can always go back too. If your life turns to shit or you have some bad luck with money... home is where you are welcomed with open arms. It's that the one safe sanctuary in life with unbreakable walls and stone. Everyone knows, and feels it at some point in their lives... the overwheleming need to return home.

Crawling into bed after a long day or a big battle is one thing Ichigo really cherished. Safe, and cozy, familiar, and thick with memories- that is home. The darkened windows and torn down clinic sign don't fill Ichigo with anything near the happy moments she spent inside the now vacant house. Darting her eyes to Tsukishima as he walks next to her with his hands shoved in the pockets of his tight black pants she wonders why he wants to show her this. She'll never be able to return to the memories she once did inside this house ever again.

"They all moved, Ichigo."

"Yeah, I can feel... or rather I can't feel anyone." It's so strange. The town always seemed so alive. Without her family and friends it's so barren and desolate now. Even in the middle of the day she can't cling to any bright moment of the past. Lifting her head up she sends out a faint pulse of reiatsu. "Oh... I do sense one." Giving him a crooked smile she chases after the familiar reiatsu each step making her heartbeat louder and stronger. "This way!" Ichigo smiles excitedly, it's going to be good to see them again.

"Wait." Tsukishima says calmly, his hand grabbing the fabric of her white haori and almost ripping it. "Are you sure you want to see them?"

"Hell yeah! They are-"

"It's been years... and you left everyone behind." Tsukishima adds sliding his hand from her shoulder, the tips of his fingers grazing the long orange pony tail blowing in the stiff winter wind. "It was _you_ that pulled away from this town."

"Oh..." Ichigo's head tilts, the sadness too much not to stop her in her tracks. She loves this town, every warm memory in her mind centers on this place. Why was she able to turn away from it so easily? "That's right, Byakuya's diaries said that." she whispers, the unnoticed cold winter chills up her back as her sandaled feet still. Why... does the home she once loved now vacant make her feel so cold and alone. "Byakuya said..."

"_I wish to be the person you run to." _Byakuya's voice, and the memory of his embrace push at the isolation closing in around her. No, someone has been aware of her since she woke up, someone sees the challenges she is about to face. It would be impossible for her to feel alone with a man like Byakuya reaching out for her.

"How much of your past did Kuchiki tell you?" Shukuro's eyes darken slightly, his demeanor shifting with the sorrow washing over her face. "I could..." He wraps an arm around her shoulder pulling her against his chest. "fill in the gaps."

"No." she says slipping from his arms and standing with her back against the blustering wind. "I don't think it would really help me." Gust after gust of wind presses at her causing the haori around her body to billow out the gleaming white rustle of the fabric is a reminder of how far she has come since waking up. "I don't know what happened to make me leave, but if I did, it was for the best."

"Ichigo..."

"I can't change what I have done, right? So I gotta go forward and trust myself." she says forcing a smile to appear on her face gathering up the strength in the faith that was placed on her by her friends and the man waiting on her return. "Look Tsukishima-san... I know we were together... but-"

"You are staying with him." he says turning around and letting the blood in his veins start to boil. "Figures... even with half your memory, the bond between the two of you is unbreakable."

"I'm sorry!" she lowers her head, blocking out the site of his shoulders trembling. Hurt is the one emotion she hates to see on others the most., and she is the one causing it."I'm so sorry..."

"You aren't sorry!" he says whirling around and grabbing her by the haori. "Don't be sorry! You've never once apologized to me for the way you feel about him!" Jerking her face closer to his, he lets his reiatsu begin to slip out. "I was..." Tsukishima pushes her backwards until she hits a wall. "I was always the loser!"

"Loser?"

"You always ran to him! Even when I told you _everything_ you went to HIM!" his voice turns desperate, crackling with remorse over his own mistakes. "Even when I asked you to be my wife, his name was the first one your lips. Why... why didn't the truth make you run to me!"

"I don't know." she answers meekly, turning her face away from the grief stricken sadness of his dull black eyes. "I don't know anything about you. But I know Byakuya. I feel-"

"Why did you even come here with me? Tell me that Ichigo!"

"I felt I owed it too you. I can at least be clear and show you enough compassion to say it to your face."

"Compassion..." His fingers feel burned by her words and release the fabric of her haori. "If this is your compassion, I don't want it!"

"Tsukishima-san, I'm-"

"You don't get to be the one to walk away without hearing what I want you to know!" he growls gripping her arm tight and flash stepping through the city.

Ichigo's lungs quiver for a split second before the smooth stone of granite is felt under her feet. She understands his anger and feels responsible for it, it's her fault he is hurting and he deserves to be heard, but deep down she isn't pitying Shukuro. _"I can't apologize for hurting him anymore. It feels somehow wrong. I am not sorry for feeling the way I do." _It's just that this is the right thing to do. When you hurt someone you apologize and make it right. That's what 'good' people do.

"Look!"

Yanked literally out of her thoughts she stares down at the black granite in shock. "It's a tombstone." Reading the name she closes her eyes and looks away. "What do you want me to say?"

"Don't turn away. Get a good look." he mutters wrapping a heavy arm around the trembling woman.

"I read about what Ginjo-san did." Ichigo pulls away from Tsukishima and curls her right hand into a fist. "I-I think I made the right choice."

"You sure about that?"

"No, I'm not! But I gotta try to be!" She screams back at him as the air around the two becomes thick and foggy.

"When you killed him... you took everything from me."

"He took things from me too... My powers, our friendship, trust, he even took away my family." Lifting her hands to her face she covers her eyes and clenches her teeth together. "He came with his own reasons and left me a future with the weight of his death on my hands. I have to carry that all alone!"

"You don't know anything about isolation." Tsukishima's face contorts in utter contempt. "You had everything. Family, friends, power..."

"What? Do you want to know if it bothers me? YES! It's on my mind, it's a ghost haunting after me. But I'm not sorry! He was killing shinigami!"

"So?" he says coldly letting his malice put a edge to his words. "What's a few shinigami deaths mean to you?"

The words hit her in the face. How did she ever come to love a person like this? The gleaming white haori seems heavy around her shoulders. "I- I'm... I'm a shinigami!" she spits back at a loss of what to say.

The sudden hard crack of a fist connects with her chin sending her flying back against a row of gravestones. Dropping to the dirt on her palms and feet she grabs at the blade on her back, but Tsukishima's silver blade appears directly in front of her nose. "No, you were a human." he says growing lowering his voice to a whisper. "This isn't going like before. " Shaking his head his shoulders start to tremble when rain drops stark and cold drench his cheeks. "Before, you said something totally different." Lifting his face up to the sky he stares up at the darkening skyline with the pain in his chest intensifying. _"What would it take...?"_

"_Nothing I can say will ease his pain." _Pulling the ring out of her pocket she sets the glinting band on Ginjou's tombstone. "I don't have it in me, to regret what happened."

"With Ginjou or..."

"I came to give this back to you." she whispers and turns her back to him. Being cruel is the worst feeling. Like sinking under the blackest waves her body lashes forward fighting at the current. "I gotta keep my head up." Days like this, it's hard just to stay _above_ the water, let alone tread it. "I HAVE to."

"Ichigo..." Tsukishima sheathes his sword and turns his head enough to see the ring adding a hint of light of the midnight colored stone of Ginjou's final resting place. "You were the one to bring him back from Soul Society and bury him."

Her feet still and the tears finally come, hot and wet on her cold cheeks. "Thank you, Shukuro-san." So she did regret taking a life, and try to make it right in her own way. Now that is the Ichigo she believes in. "Forgive me. I can't bring myself to put you above Byakuya." she says full of remorse before slipping away through the tall square stones, the only sound, is the rainfall.

Shrugging off her words he looks up through the large raindrops. The stars don't seem as bright as they used to be. This didn't go as planned. "I really thought, If I brought you to this place you would remember... us." Everything will move in a different direction for him now. Shifting his weight he grabs the diamond ring from Ginjou's grave and begins to laugh desperately. "Ginjou, is there anything more pathetic than loving a girl who doesn't remember you? HAHAHA! It's the worse story ever!"

"You are real sad looking right now." Comes a faint echo in reply. "But it doesn't change your mission. You know what you have to do."

"I know... "

She killed a vow, and burned any chance at restoring what they had. _"I left him there to bleed it out, alone." _Those empty pages in her dairy are turning again and filling with new choices and she will carry that book safely next to her heart. Her voice begins to stir and her determination flickers up. "

~/~

"_Why are you letting her run off with him?"_

"_It's an acceptable risk." _

Byakuya's eyes shut recalling his reply from Renji's question. For some, taking risks is second nature. Ichigo, Renji, and even his sister Rukia accept risk with very little forethought.

"_Do what is expected. No more or less! You are to be the next great leader of this noble family."_

Yet, someone like Byakuya who was raised in discipline and reason, risk is more of a dirty word. "I'm willing to... " he whispers slipping an arm through a dark blue yukata with thin golden stripes. "Risk anything to make her happy."

"_Take the chance, take it and don't let it go." _Are the words he longed to hear. _"You deserve to be happy." _But they never came from the people surrounding him. Byakuya began to curse the freedom they represent.

Int he end it was Ichigo who said them to her. On a battlefield, bleeding and stubbornly resilient she thrust him into a different world. He finishes dressing with a sweet warmth in his chest. The feeling that he has captured something ever elusive for once in his life is so pleasing that the moment Ichigo's reiatsu kindles up in the faint distance an excited smile stretches it way on his face.

"Byakuya-sama everything is prepared."

"Very good." he replies sliding open his dressing room door and following the servant. "Direct Kurosaki-san to the room after she is prepared for dinner. Be sure we are not disturbed, no exceptions. I want nothing to hinder this evening."

"Yes, Byakuya-sama." The head of the servants steps forward with a white gloved hand. "I will see to it personally."

Stepping inside he nervously looks over the room and nods his head with approval. It's perfect, just what he asked for. Now only the woman is missing. Turning around he waits for the candles to be lit before the door starts to slide shut. "Thank you for everything."

"Byakuya-sama?" Old Touji is taken aback by the rare expression and gratitude directed at him. The master isn't known for saying thank you, or much of anything outside of an order. "Y-You are most welcome, Byakuya-sama." The door closes silently and he stands tall next to the private chamber with a sense of pride. "The servants all hope for your happiness, Byakuya-sama." he replies quietly, his fingers lacing together as he waits for the lady to appear.

Minutes later the doors open and Ichigo arrives with her brilliant colored orange hair braided in one long smooth knot that lays down the front of her pale lavender yukata. She stands there for a moment with a veiled expression recalling the fight with Tsukishima his words still burning at her skin. "W-What is all this?"

Bluebells, Red tulips, yellow marigolds by the dozens are in vase after vase covering the tops of two long cherry wood tables on the right and left sides of the room. Evergreens and bamboo line the walls, ferns with large bowing leaves are behind Byakuya, even the floor is covered in a thin layer of grass. Flowers she doesn't know the name of crowd the walls and hang down covering spaces that draw her to look at the center of the room and the glinting table set for two.

It doesn't escape Ichigo that this room was an expensive endeavor, it's the middle of winter and all of these flowers must have been brought over from the real world. _"I'm being treated as someone special." _No one has ever done anything like this for her before and it's come on a day she could really use some tenderness.

"It's finished."she says in a quiet voice forcing her feet to step past the doorway and into the beautifully decorated room. Sliding her tired eyes up to the ceiling and over the walls, the room drips in flowers. The scents of flowers she's never even seen before mingle with the glowing candle-light almost hypnotizing her, and he is there... that tall man with his broad shoulders and quiet reassuring nature.

"Can I hold you now, Ichigo?" They are only a meter away, he stands just behind the table with his shoulder length midnight hair neatly laying on his shoulders. The look on her face is worn but he can glean a hint happiness in her eyes.

"Yes!" she says with a great sense of relief, and stepping quickly across the room to stand next to him. "I would really like that." Only when her arms are wound securely around his strong neck and she feels his blue eyes intensively staring at her face, does Ichigo stand on her tiptoes to kiss his lips. Instantly her mind feels fuzz, her stomach flipping in a swirl. It's exciting to touch him. More than The warmth of Byakuya's body is welcoming and spreads through her so fast Ichigo's breath hitches slightly.

Byakuya's eyes widen in surprise, lips soft and velvety tug at him for a reaction, and he eagerly kisses her back. Allowing his eye lids to slowly shut, desire fills his chest as her hands slip into his hair. Despite the flowers, he still smells her scent above them, clouding around him, soothing away all his unanswered questions.

"Why is it so good?" she gasps soon as her lips are released and his mouth begins nuzzling at her neck. "My skin's on fire Byakuya and I love the way you make me feel."

"There is more." he whispers seductively in her ear, his arms circling her waist and pulling her against his chest. "Experience it all, with me."

The reward for taking risk is here next to him. He gets Ichigo, and he dares anyone to come between it. _"I'll cut anyone down... anyone who tries to take her away from me."_

* * *

><p><em><em>**Hey all! I bet you thought I forgot. I didn't! I just had some health issues and personal problems to deal with. But I really hoping you are enjoying the story. I love writing it and hopeyou do too. HUGS and see you in the next chapter, Fuzzi**


	16. Hero to Whore

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

**Dedicated to RamecupMiso Cheer up girl~! Bunni loves You!**

_**Antebellum**_

"_**We deceive ourselves when we fancy that only weakness needs support. Strength needs it far more." ~Madame Swetchine**_

_**Chapter 16; Hero to Whore**_

Just after Ichigo's mom died, she began sleepwalking around the house. The first few nights it went unnoticed, but one morning Isshin Kurosaki woke his eldest daughter finding her asleep on the floor near the side of the bed his wife would lay, with her tiny hands clinging to her mother's nightgown, the light pink fabric pulled to her face.

That evening her father began reading to her and her sisters before bed stories of heroes like Yoshitsune, Abeno Seimei, or Odysseus. The latter quickly became her favorite. Odysseus was one of the most influential Greek champions and arguably one of the first true heroes recognized by history. Mainly he is famous for his ability to cunningly thwart the enemy and for taking _ten years_ to return home. He must have taken the scenic route.

"That's all of volume nine." Ichigo says rubbing at her tired eyes.

It's been a week since Ichigo made her way from the human world. Hinamori has returned to work, and the flow of the everyday grind of duties begins to take shape. Not a word or clue has been left as to Rukia's whereabouts and Byakuya often searches late into the evenings causing Ichigo to worry over him more with each passing day.

Upon Byakuya's suggestion Ichigo is learning the vast history of Soul Society. It's a long and tedious amount of information, but she is taking an active interest. Her job as captain should be taken seriously after all. When she came upon her own name in the largest and most recent volume it took her breath away. The chapter title was Hero of the Winter War. She must have read that chapter four times before she was able to fully understand everything that happened. Sure she read Byakuya's version, but this one is in the official history books. " With another day drawing to a close Ichigo lifts up from her chair and shuts the last of her books. "Momo, I'm going to head out early today and look for Rukia with Byakuya."

"Captain, you are supposed to drop by the barracks this evening. The entire division is throwing a welcome back party for you."

Ichigo lets out a loud groan of protest. She starts to edge out her office door only to feel a hand grabbing at her shoulder. "Awe, come on. How about next week?"

"You can't get out of it." Momo shakes a finger at her. "Besides, they are excited to see their favorite captain back. You are a hero to everyone in Soul Society, your men look up too you with pride."

After another groan and finger wag Ichigo surrenders and follows Hinamori downstairs and outside to the set of buildings where most of the shinigami under her command are already waiting for her to arrive.

"The Captain is here!" The voices call out. "Welcome back Captain~! We knew you would return to us!"

Setting her sandaled feet on a wooden step Ichigo looks around the modest party. In the center is a long table loaded with food, just above it hangs a banner that simply says, 'Welcome Home' And there are these incredible smiling faces all pointed at her. These are her new allies, her new friends, and the precious people she is responsible for. Face after face, she looks at them all searching for a hint of familiarity wishing she knew more about them.

"Hey." she manages to say meekly, the crowd bursts into laughter and people start loading their plates with food. Thankfully, they seem to know she isn't one to talk in crowds. With a sense of relief Momo leads Ichigo to a chair where she can watch and listen from the side. Plopping into the seat she starts to relax a bit thanks to the cool drink offered to her.

"C-Captain?"

Shifting her eyes towards the tiny voice, Ichigo finds a girl about Rukia's size with short azure hair cut to be just off her shoulders.

"C-Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure." Dear god, they are talking to her, please don't let her say the wrong thing.

"I'm Yuki the new twelfth seat. "the young girl explains in a trembling voice. "W-Well I was the new twelfth before your accident," her cheeks go hot from mentioning something that is sure to cause her captain bad memories. "I- I am now the third seat."

"That's great. You must have worked hard."

"It's because of you!" Her arms wave in the air frantically. "You told me not to give up and to keep trying and everyday I tried my best. And I can Shikai! Captain do you want to see it?!"

"No!" Everyone yells in response.

"Awe!" Yuki puffs up her cheeks at the crowd. "I-I'm getting better at controlling it!"

"Yuki-san, congratulations." Ichigo smiles warmly at the young girl who faintly resembles her sister Yuzu in her face. Friendship flows easily from people like her, and Ichigo is truly grateful. One after another individuals approach her with a gift or a story on how she touched some small part of their lives that it's almost overwhelming. For the next hour she listens and chats with them, while trying her best to memorize their names and faces.

Holding a hand to her chest a strange emptiness haunts her, the attacker took this away from her too. _"I won't lose anything else." _The fingers close enough to her heart to feel it's steady beating curl into a tight fist. _"I swear on my soul."_

~/~

Byakuya's busy day finally comes to and end after he searches the dusty streets of Rukongai for his sister then returns to the manor for a bath. His thoughts keep him so preoccupied that he doesn't hear Ichigo's voice until he is a few meters away. Standing at the corner of one of the storage buildings with her haori still around her shoulders she speaks in a hushed voice to someone unseen.

"Look, I don't like the idea of meeting here or keeping it a secret from Byakuya." she says folding her arms in front of her chest. "Don't ask me to do this again. So what do you want?"

"The family has discussed your relationship with Byakuya-sama and found it to be unfit." The familiar voice of his Aunt Kumiko's eldest son, Takumi reaches Byakuya's ears.

"Unfit... meaning?"

"You do not belong here to be precise." Takumi lifts his hand up and points a finger at Ichigo. "This family will never accept you."

"Like I care..." she turns to leave when Takumi steps in front of her, his face sour enough to make her wince. "Ugh, what?"

"Are you too stupid to realize that you are nothing more than a mistake that should crawl back to the side alleys of the Red Light district each morning?"

Yeah, she gets it. This guy is an asshole. "Look, I don't want a fight. I don't mind if you call me a whore or whatever, but I think we should try and understand each other-"

"Each day you remain beside him, his place as leader slips further from his grasp."

"You are saying Byakuya's going to lose the support of the elders because of me?" Tilting her eyes to the ground she thinks about her choices unaware of Byakuya's shape just behind her. In five minutes she has gone from hero to whore. That's gotta be some kind of record. It's obvious that Byakuya values his place as leader, but since waking she has also realized there is much more to him than a noble clan leader. He made his feelings so clear when they went to the shrine.

_"Mother, Father... this is Ichigo." Byakuya says reaching behind and taking the shivering woman's hand. "I love her." he says firmly, without a hint of doubt that it makes Ichigo's eyes widen in shock. "I am going to make her a part of the family." Tugging Ichigo in front of him he takes her hand in his and bows to show his respect._

_Ichigo quickly follows him, bowing in a daze over his words too afraid to speak and say something foolish._

_"Once again, I'm faced with breaking my word to you. I did not choose a woman from the same social class. For the second... time..." his voice cracks, dropping to his knees he bows deep placing his palms on the polished hardwood floor. "But it can not be helped. I love her, and beg for you to allow this one indulgence."_

_"Byakuya..." Ichigo's mind churns with turmoil over his sudden change in emotion._

_"Father you told me once that I should choose one thing I like above all others to make my vice. For the remainder of my days... Ichigo IS my vice. I will only love her."_

_"B-Byakuya... why?" It doesn't feel right to see him this way._

_"I am happy to accept any punishment. If you will only let me have her."_

Sensing Ichigo's reluctance Takumi's lips stretch into a menacing toothy grin. "In the end it'll be _you_ he resents for taking away his precious pride."

"No offense," Lifting her head up she squares her shoulders and puts a hand on her hip. "But that's total bullshit. They wouldn't remove him just because of me. They didn't before why would they now?"

"Unfortunate things happen everyday. Who knows what accident or misplaced information might befall our current leader and taint his reputation?"

The words of the person stalking her burn through her skull._"One by one... I'll take them all." _

Ichigo's hand snakes out clutching Takumi's pristine red yukata jerking the man off his feet. "Nothing you do to me, or can say will separate Byakuya from me. I know we are going to be family one day..." She drops the trembling man letting him thump to the dirty ground. " so I'm not going to hurt you. But if you cause him a single moment of unhappiness I'll _crush _you."

"You have enemies here in Soul Society!" he spits at her. "Around every corner is someone that wishes to bury you!"

"Let them come. I'll kick all of their asses into the dirt."

Stepping back into the cover of night Byakuya's mouth up turns into a smile. The actions of his cousin have had the opposite effect, not that he is surprised. Pushing Ichigo just makes her push back and harder. _"Threatening to hurt the ones she cares about, stirs her into action,Cousin. You've only announced yourself as her enemy. What a mistake."_

No matter how many sleepless nights he suffers through to keep watch as she rests he won't regret choosing Ichigo. Regrets are for people too weak to live out their convictions. _"I will regret nothing I've done to keep her in my arms." _

He travels to his study to wait for her quiet footfalls and sweet scent to fill the room with her presence. In the evenings their time together is becoming increasingly feverish, her kisses satisfy but linger with promises of more. With each passing day he witnesses her love for him growing, he only waits until she gives him a sign that she is ready for more, to take it further. _"I want to make love to her. Does she feel the same?"_

Picking up a book from his desk he walks downstairs to one of the red chaise to distract, no read... to read until she joins him. The tea set on the small coffee table is arranged properly and he has these small cookies, called Madelaine's, Ichigo raved about the night before sitting on a tray nearby.

Forty-five minutes go by and still no Ichigo. Just as his book snaps shut the door to his study slides open, Ichigo appears wearing the black yukata with purple and blue flowers decorating the arms and hem he gave her. "I was about to search for you." Byakuya says rising from the sofa to greet her.

"I'm sorry you had to wait." she replies softly, her eyes lifting to admire the way his dark hair lays over part of his face. Her gaze drops to the dark blue yukata that slowly turns white near the top half of the garment. "You look nice. Handsome and all that."

"Shouldn't I be the one to compliment you?" he tells her, lifting a hand to touch her cheek. "I thought about you all day, considered more than once visiting you in your office and stealing you away for myself."

"Oh, that's a good one." Ichigo lifts up on her tip toes and kisses him tenderly. The moment their lips meet his masculine scent, his body heat, and his large gentle hands soothe away her jitters. The mess that was her day melts away to be replaced by sweet emotions flowing between them.

"But that wasn't a proper compliment, Ichigo." Byakuya says moving his lips from her mouth and down her neck. "I can do better."

"It's enough." she whispers wrapping her arms around his shoulders to hold him against her. "You are good for me." The thought of losing him, of leaving him, or even mourning him presses at her heart so suddenly that a sense of urgency fills her veins. "I need you to hold me. I-" Her feet leaves the floor and she feels her back touch Byakya's solid chest as he sets down on the chaise with her perched on his lap.

"Is this better?" Byakuya whispers tugging her hair away from the left side of Ichigo's neck to expose her ear. Without waiting for a reply his lips tickle at her earlobe then nuzzle at the soft skin below, his tongue flicking out to taste her. Over and over he teases at her until her body begins to squirm in his grasp.

Unable to bear it Ichigo whirls around on his lap planting her knees on each side of his hips. "I still haven't responded to you from the night you took me to the shrine." she says looking him in the eyes, her hands holding each side of his face. "You said something beautiful to me and I just stood there like a idiot."

"I know."

"Y-You don't have to agree so easily!" Ichigo says turning her face away and scrunching up her face. "Anyway, I wanted to say..." Looking back at him she tilts her head and says, "I don't remember falling in love with Tsukishima, the first place we kissed or where I was when I first told him I loved him back." Slipping a finger down the white collar of his yukata she struggles with a tight feeling in her throat. "Everything about him pulls me into my past, but you, from the very beginning have thought of nothing but my future." Her fingertips pause when his warm hand curls around them. "It's thanks to you that I now have the memories I need. I know the place where I fell in love with you for the first time. I'll never forget the first place we kissed, or..." Her lungs fill with air and she exhales the words buried deep in her heart. "the first time I said I love-"

Byakuya can't stop himself from leaning forward and claiming her lips. Ichigo's precious words echo in his mouth sending a strong shiver up his spine. Finding strength in her words his hands move up and cup her cheeks keeping the kiss firm. So much softness, damp lips slick over his lower lip as a haze of her scent sparks his desire. Passion drags the kiss on, and soon they are both panting short breaths. Still he doesn't let her go, that's unthinkable for Byakuya. Instead his palms move down to her neck, his thumbs stroking small circles on her creamy golden skin.

Nestled in a wave of pleasure, Ichigo's stomach flip flops, teetering on a desire she hasn't experienced before. Throwing her arms around him, she kisses him back the feelings are simply too good to stop. Her hands move through his hair, her fingers tugging lightly on the dark silky strands.

"Mmm." he growls lightly into the kiss, her touch, her scent making him feel hungry for more. Sliding his mouth down her neck, he hears her gasping for air at finally being released. Byakuya hides the satisfied smirk appearing on his lips by trailing her collarbone with light kisses.

The collar of her yukata slides from her shoulders exposing them to the cool air of the room. Sucking in a deep breath Ichigo lifts her head up and exhales a surprised gasp when his lips travel down to kiss the tops of her breasts.

Inch by inch Byakuya's mouth explores firm peach colored skin, enjoying the softness against his lips and cheeks. His fingers curl into the fabric of her yukata gathering it in his palms as he tugs it further down her shoulders until all of her upper torso is bare for him to see. Beautiful and perfect he licks a pink nipple and hears her breath hitches.

The heat of his touch burns her deep, the scene taking on a new heat that undulates with each slick of his tongue. Words begin to escape her mouth, the pooling between her legs, and the tugging of his teeth shake her literally making her hands grab at his shoulders. Tilting her body, she tumbles to the sofa pulling him on top of her.

Finding himself on top of Ichigo he props himself up on his palms too admire her flushed face. Beaming and full of lust, her hair is in a wave down the side of the cushion, her eyes brightly shinning. Everything about her is seducing Byakuya to make love to her. Just as he is about to kiss her again, right when her hands reach up to untie his belt both stop and give each other a knowing glance.

"I sense Rukia." They both say in unison.

~/~

In separate rooms Byakuya and Ichigo dress quickly in their shinigami uniforms, and haori. Meeting in the center room they look at each other and nod.

"We will continue that later." Byakuya tells her pushing his sheathed sword into his belt.

"Yeah, Byakuya. Let's do that." she says giving him a wide smile as she lifts her blade up and presses it to the red strap on her back.

"Shall we?" He opens the outer doors, and waits for her to step next to him before wrapping a arm around her waist and flash stepping into the night.

Like her hero Odysseus, she took ten years to find her home. Did he have the same problems once he arrived? For some reason she can't remember the end to that story, but the one thing she does know is, _"It's damn good to be home, Byakuya."_

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><p><em><strong>Hey all! Here is the new chapter. I really hope you like eeet =D HUGS Fuzzi Please review and vote in my poll! <strong>  
><em>


	17. Guided By Voices

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Antebellum**_

_**"A blocked path also offers guidance." ~ Mason Cooley**_

_**Chapter 17; Guided by Voices**_

One day the world is glowing and ideal. Your mother wakes you for breakfast and brushes your hair, while your father hums a game show tune in the bathroom amazingly enough as he brushes his teeth. For years you will wonder how he manages to do it. Two twin sisters play happily on a soft blue blanket situated just close enough to be within a glance on your mother's careful eye. Its perfect, and you are happy. This precious handful of people, they are the voices guiding you through your days.

Then it comes, the trial of your life. One quick moment, on a rainy night takes away one single thing... and perfect is shattered. After, no one is there to brush your hair, the songs are silenced, and play time is forever replaced with longing for the vacant figure you once could touch.

That is the power of presence. The irreplaceable missing from Ichigo's life can not be counted on one hand or even two. They are numerous and despite the ache inside to find them, to lay eyes on the missing pieces of what she had, she instead reaches out and clasps Byakuya's long fingertips as they follow the hint of Rukia's reiatsu.

"You are very quiet." Byakuya says with a worried tone, they've been tracking Rukia for at least an hour now. The pursuit leading the pair into the dark delivery tunnels underground Soul Society. "Is something on your mind?"

"I have to find her, Byakuya. I have to bring her home." she says firmly, taking a few quicker steps to lead the way through the dimly lit corridor. Making a right then a left, the impatience wears at her so much that when his fingers squeeze at hers she yanks her hand from his. "Stop distracting me, and help me find, Rukia!" Ichigo yells, and marches stubbornly in the opposite direction. "I should have been out looking for her the past few days! I should have paid closer attention. But I was so caught up in _you_! How could I do that to her!? What kind of friend does that?!"

"Your objections are noted and completely understandable." Byakuya replies gently putting his hand on hers again, gripping it firmer than before, and drawing her to his side. "And I am ignoring them."

"What?" Her feet stop dead in her tracks and her mouth opens in disbelief.

"Struggles, battles, they are inevitable. However, I will not let temporary crisis derail our relationship." he says just as firmly as he can without sounding angry. The truth is, she is frustrated. It is possible to empathize with Ichigo. She has always been the self-sacrificing type of person and that side of her truly scares him. _"How do I get her to find a balance of happiness and responsibility in the world she now lives in?" _She must stop taking it all on herself.

"But-" she lifts her voice to protest when Byakuya's free hand touches her shoulder sending a reminding chill down her back. He is beside her... Byakuya is here next to her and she can see and touch him. He isn't a void in her life. "Damn it." she exhales an irritated sigh sickened by her own behavior. "I'm sorry for-" The familiar feel of his fingertip on her lips silences her. She tilts her eyes up to find his expression filled with a warmth that erases the mistake in an instant. "Oh..." That kindness, the way his bangs are pulled back from his face... when they used to partially skew a clear view of his deep blue eyes, now make him look so completely open, and eager to be loved. "Byakuya, I didn't mean to say that you were less important than Rukia. You... are right. I was panicking."

"Ichigo. You told me once that as a child you heard your mother's voice guiding you to make wise choices." Byakuya stops in his tracks at hearing her sweet remorseful words. Yes, she has always been the kind to force through any problem with a focus that even a noble born man like himself can admire. "And after her death the voice became silent, you were only able to close your eyes and picture your mother standing over you, her arms out stretched, the words drifting away on some unseen wind." he gives her a small reassuring smile, "But then you became Shinigami, and her voice reached you again. I too heard a voice..."

"You did?"

"My father's voice, and after I married Hisana it left me to my own choices. I felt abandoned and rejected, I loathed myself for the loss of his guidance."

"Byakuya..." she says softly, the urge to comfort him in some way welling up in her chest. "He wasn't unhappy with you. Only your guilt made it impossible to hear him."

The sentence send s chills down his spine. "Ichigo! I said that precise thing to you long ago. Do you remember?" It takes everything inside him to not grab her by the shoulders and hold her close. "Do you recall that kiss in my study? Or when the manor was on fire?"

"I.. um." Ichigo's voice falters, as she struggles to pull anything up from the blackness inside her memory. _"I want to remember!" _Something.. flickers past... her hand, her mind reaches out to grab a faint image pressing at the base of her recollection.

_It's a sunny day, and the picnic with Rukia sitting nearby fills Ichigo with a pleasant sense of belonging. Her friend, very best friend turns to look at her and grows serious, her large violet eyes widening as she speaks in a hushed tone..._

"_What about Nii-sama?"_

"_Byakuya?" _

"You were wearing a red kimono. You looked so beautiful, so full of life and I'll never forget the affection in your eyes. I..." His voice turns softer deeper and vibrates in the dank corridor around him. "I knew then, that you loved me."

"Byakuya?" she repeats blinking in shock as the bright warmth of the day shifts into a dark and damp hallway and the man next to her is looking at her with expectation. How his voice and way of thinking pulls at her. _"He really is a handsome man, so tall, and broad shouldered."_ she thinks taking in his profile as they move deeper into the tunnels and down a set of stairs. Just being close to him stirs something strange inside her. _"I want to touch him. Should I touch him?" _

Ichigo starts to move towards him when his fingers, lightening fast jab at her chest sending her flying backwards.

Long and brilliant, a blue arc of energy blasts just past where Ichigo was standing causing Byakuya and Ichigo to narrow their eyes and look to the source. There at the end of a dark hallway stands Rukia wearing a dirty brown cape around her small shoulders.

"Rukia!" Ichigo screams gathering herself to her feet and darting down the now darkening corridor. Her friend, is right there and so close. If she brings her home, things will become calm again and she will allow herself to be loved. Yes, that is what she needs. "Rukia!"

Byakuya follows, his steps landing next to Ichigo despite the strange ringing in his ears from the kidou Rukia just blasted at them. His eyes expertly look for signs of deception. If this is his sister... why did she just try to hurt Ichigo?

Another arc of power blasts past Byakuya, but this one Ichigo deflects easily with her sword sending the massive glowing demon magic into the wall on her right.

"Remember Ichigo! Before it's too late!" Rukia says defiantly, and sends another blast that Ichigo avoids. The wall behind her crumbles away, "The deed is done." she whispers to someone just over her shoulder.

"_Rukia?" _No this woman is certainly Byakuya's sister. What is she attempting to do? Just as they are close enough, and Byakuya prepares to raise his sword in defense, a second figure appears tall and familiar next to her. Stunned by the turn of events Byakuya pulls out his sword and swiftly moves to engage in battle. "What is your goal?"

Tsukishma glances at Ichigo for a split second before his blade connects with Byakuya's. Her face is twisted into confusion and surprise, but beyond that is an inner strength rising by the minute. _"Shit, I must hurry before Ichigo becomes angry."_ Steel on steel the two swords ting out as reiatsu blasts at the walls around them. "Nice to see you again, Kuchiki." His dark eyes flick back to his former lover showing a hint of concern. "And you too... Ichigo." Taking a step towards her Byakuya's blade moves to cut his shoulder, but Tsukishima has seen this move before and counters it with ease. "Are you sure you can protect her? Isn't it the other way around?" His cold eyes move back to Byakuya's meeting the same defiance. "Come now, Kuchiki... You can't keep the truth from her forever."

Patience, and control are Byakuya's true strengths, he won't allow Tsukishima's provocation to effect his focus. He feels nothing from him, the only reiatsu splashing around is his and Ichigo's with Rukia's somewhere below theirs. _"He has no power?" _Three strong blows is all it will take to break his enemy's blade. A blade without a soul is only as strong as the material inside. One to the right. A fake to the left and Byakuya's zanpakutou collides with Tsukishima's again. Two, and now for the final blow, he turns the brooding man just enough to slip past the blade and move.

Crack! The long silver sword in Tsukishima's hand crumbles away. But Kuchiki isn't letting up he sees that hand coming for his chest again... again... this man goes for his heart. How many times is it? So many he can feel the pain before his heart is crushed. "You always go for the heart now, Kuchiki. That is the gift I bestowed upon you."

"Nii-sama! NO!" Rukia stands in front of Tsukishima with her arms splayed wide.

The blade halts an inch from it's mark. Byakuya's expression is grave, and Ichigo scrambles up from the dusty ground. From the corner of her eye she sees a small shimmering blue marble drop from Tsukishima's fingertips. Without thinking she grabs Byakuya by the back of his haori, and raises her sword at the same time. "Getsuga tensho!" The simultaneous massive shock wave jerks the four people apart, Ichigo's sword release creating a wall blue between them.

Stone walls crunch, shattering like glass, the force is more than she expected, and the man next to her instantly turns them as the fly backwards. "Hold on to me." he says above the roar of the debris flying everywhere. Massive stone slabs start to topple and he lifts her up in his arms trying to out run the collapse. "Hadou number four, Pale Lightening."

"Byakuya... let me down I can- whoa!" Ichigo is startled by the blast of power that makes a hole in the wall of the next room for them to slip through as they flee. Soon as their feet touch down Ichigo turns to see the path block with huge boulders of large white rock. The room goes pitch black and the only sounds echoing are of the remnants of stone settling around the room they retreated too. "I can get us out of here." Ichigo says with a chuckle and raises her sword, "Getsuga-"

"No wait!" Byakuya senses it then, the decline of his own reiatsu like it is being devoured by something. "Hadou number four, Pale Lightening." he whispers without putting much power into it.

The arc of light bounces off the walls and past their heads until the power fades into blackness.

"Shit! What the hell is this room?" Ichigo gasps as darkness surrounds her again.

"It's Seki stone. We are trapped in a room made of spirit absorbing material." Byakuya quickly surmises lifting up a hand and touching the wall next to him. "It's a _very_ effective way to contain a shinigami."

"They set a trap for us? What the hell, Rukia!" she yells at the room in frustration.

"Hmm." Byakuya feels something strange about the stone around him. Sliding along the wall his fingers dip and bump like the surface is damaged. _"Why is this here?"_

"I'm... really confused."

"We are trapped. Lets escape and then figure out what to do next." he replies calmly, his eyes unable to see anything in front of him. _"This wall... feels like it's carved."_

"Why do you think Rukia was with Tsukishima?"

"But that is impossible, Seki stone can't be cut by normal means." he mutters under his breath, still pondering how they stumbled across this long forgotten place. "It would take a force much greater than a Captain." And not of Shinigami reiatsu.

"Are they... together? You know like..." she nervously fidgets in the darkness for the right word to describe her and Byakuya's relationship. "Us? We are an Us, right? What_ do_ I call us?" Ichigo continues to think and speak a the same time unaware of the smile on Byakuya's face. "Calling you my boyfriend sounds weird, like the word is too small or something for guy like you."

Still preoccupied by his own thoughts Byakuya says, "I've always liked it when you call me Byakuya." in a matter of fact tone. _"The room is sealed..."_

"R-Really?" Her face flushes bright red and she suddenly feels excited at the idea of pleasing a man like Byakuya. "But I used to always add things after... like 'you bastard!' or-"

"I only recall you saying my name. Very passionately." he replies, sliding his hands over the wall to where the fractured remains of stones block the exit.

"P-Passionately?" she whispers, her lips part, her face contorting into shock. "Is that how you hear the things I say?" How the hell didn't she pick up on that? It's... well him thinking it's sexy is... kind of seductive.

If he could force a blast of kidou through the spaces in the stone perhaps. "Ichigo, can you step to the back of the room?" His hand reaches out and touches her shoulder. _"No, it wouldn't work. My power isn't strong enough. It would take someone with a ridiculous-"_

"How did you know where I am?" The room is pitch black. _"Does he sense my reiatsu despite the seki stones drawing at our power?"_

"I can hear your heart beating." he tells her in a soft tone, his hand moving up Ichigo's slender shoulder blade to her neck and continuing to her hair. "Ichigo... I need you to do something for me." What he is about to ask will be unpleasant. He doesn't want this, to ask her to draw on a power she looks at with such dread.

"Hmm? What?"

"I want you to fire a cero at these boulders directly in front of us."

"Ha-ha! Byakuya you know I can't-" But the memories flood her instantly, the truth of what she did opens up in her soul with a blazing pain. "I-I can use cero... I was a compete hollow once..." Her arms prickle and the fear suffocates her throat. "No-No. I killed Ulquiorra, I turned on Ishida! I was going to choke the life out of him!" Trembling in terror she drops to the stone floor and begins to deny the memories tearing at her watery eyes. "NO! I don't want to do that. I don't wanna become that thing again!"

"I need you to do this for us, Ichigo." Byakuya answers soberly, he own chest tightening from the air already thinning in the room.

_"I believe the long years of you resting nearby have blended Kurosaki-san's soul with yours. You should be able to use the technique I showed you to calm the other if it appears."_ Captain Unohana's words ring in his ears.

It's untested, and he isn't sure he can bring her back from the edge of oblivion. "It'll be fine. I have faith in you." However, strong and steady... he can sense her emotions from anywhere now and the sounds of her heart haunt his entire body. Indeed the two of their souls have blended. _"Do you feel it too, Ichigo? Do you hear the unspoken feelings I have locked inside me?"_

"What if I hurt you! I can't control it! I-I-"

"You did before, you can again, Ichigo." he firmly grips her shoulders pulling her into his embrace. "You see... The room is airtight. And any force I use on the Seki stone will be useless. But you are special-"

"No! I don't want to! I don't want to be special." Shaking her head back and forth the fear crawls up her spine as the images of her friends faces shift into a pool of blood. "Ordinary Ichigo is ok! I want to be that!" No it would be Byakuya's blood, his shocked and revolted face on the ground. "No! No! NO!"

"Then we will run out of air in fifteen minutes and suffocate." Tugging her to the floor he settles her onto his lap and takes a deep breath of her flowery sweet hair. "I don't mind dying with you in my arms. But if I'm allowed one regret..." his fingers draw back her hair exposing her earlobe. "It's never having the chance to make love to you." Byakuya whispers in her ear seductively before gently nibbling at her soft warm skin. "You feel it don't you?"

"Anyone ever tell you, you are just too damn calm?" she mutters letting his hands travel over her body sparking an unexpected desire in her. "I feel...everything..."

"I know you do." Byakuya says, his palms moving up her hakama pants while he continues to kiss her neck."When we finally touch each other..."

"It's going to be incredible." Ichigo almost moans the words, turning her body so her face is pressed against his chest.

"Now..." Byakuya voice toggles under the strain, his body giving out. "get us out of here, Ichigo."

"Byakuya?" she feels him pull away, thudding against the floor. "Byakuya!" Grouping in the dark she lays over him trying to figure out why his breaths sound labored. "What happ-" Warm thick liquid coats her hands, a feeling she knows all too well. "How did you get hurt?!"

"A sliver of Seki stone hit me in the back as we were fleeing." he says weakly, his lungs begin to fill with blood. "It's killing me.."

"No! I'm not going to lose you." she shakes her head and turns him on his side, her slippery fingers find the rod of Seki stone and she tries to yank it out to no avail. "Why can't I pull it out?!" she asks, but the room is quiet. "B-Byakuya?" she repeats, this time the fear creeping up on her and forcing her voice to crack. The man who says she is special, who says he loves her, is laying in a pool of blood next to her. The room is silent. Too quiet. "H-Help me..." she begs lifting a trembling hand to her face and pulling on the power that sleeps in the deepest part of her soul. "Save him!"

But the mask, the power hidden inside her... answer hers with silence.

"What? Why?" she sputters trying again. "What happened to my hollow powers!?"

The many voices of those important to Ichigo begin to swirl in her mind blending... saying the same things over and over.

"Ichigo will help us. Save us, Kurosaki-chan. Ichi-nee... help me." The noise is deafening to her, she covers her eyes and curls forward laying her head onto Byakuya's chest. "Stop it. Shut up! I can't hear if he is breathing!" This can't be where they say goodbye, where his voice forever vanishes from her mind. "I need him!"

"_**Ichigo... to use that part of us... YOU must remember!"**_

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><p><em>Hey all! Hope you enjoy the chapter I hugs all of you and hope to read your reviews! Fuzzi<em>


	18. Fairytale for a Prince

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Antebellum**_

"_**If a man of pure heart**_

_**were to fall in love with her**_

_**That would bring her back to life." Grim**_

_**Chapter 18; A fairytale for a Prince**_

Why does amnesia only offer entanglement, suffocation, and isolation? It is possible that those left in the darkness of the unknown can find happiness. At least that is what Ichigo tells herself, clutching the head of a dying man to her breast with her eyes staring wide into the shadowy darkness. "I've been thinking Byakuya..." she whispers searching the emptiness in her memory for the first time she saw him smile. "I was actually ready to be happy. You know?"

The tears slip freely down her cold cheeks to fall soundlessly on Byakuya's hair. He is so still, the faintest shifting of the dust might crumble the determination locked inside her chest. Life is so noisy compared to this moment, where only her voice reaches out in the bleakness to caress his ear. "And you were too." she adds her voice echoing back the bitterness of the inescapable room.

"_Get us out of here."_

That's right. Byakuya is counting on her. She can face this. With her eyes suddenly adjusting to the dark, she gently settles his body back on the ground and rises to her feet. "I need him." Letting her arms drop to her sides she allows the darkness to settle around her like a blanket. Think. The thin air feels heavy on her shoulders, so she breathes shallow and walks forward in the darkness with her arms in front of her searching for the walls. "I want him." The obstacle is obvious, they are buried under all this stone, and she is restlessly seeking out the cracks in the surface. The wall must have a weak spot somewhere. "He is not going to die here!" It's a desperate thing... loving someone. It makes you fight for everything Still, he fingers groping in the dark frantically pull and tear for any movable rocks. Something in the blackness digs under her skin, almost as if she can feel the shadows creeping up on her. "I'm not letting you go! You hear me Byakuya?!" Ichigo yells, pulling her sword from her back and shoving it into a fissure between two slabs of rock. "Getsuga-"

"It's time to wake up, Ichigo."

The strangely familiar voice, the blinding light, she can only whirl around to meet him. Face the person who trapped her and Byakuya in this prison. "Tsukish-"

Moving lightening fast his cold blade slides right into her shoulder down into her chest. "Please hate me." He looks at her then finally allowing himself the miniscule right to take in the wide watery eyes of the woman he robbed everything from. "For stealing your heart."

"W-Why?" she gasps, touching the crimson coated sword dividing her body. Finding the blood still hot, she looks down at it in shock.

"Because I fell in love with my enemy." he replies watching the distance of time flickering up in bright blue hues in her eyes. "I know you will remember every loss and every lie, every regret that changed you. If not for my meddling, you would have..." Tsukishima reaches as she falls, across the space in the room to allow her to drop into his arms one last time. "I just wanted to give _one_ thing back to you."

"Byakuya." she whispers understanding the voice echoing in ears as she begins to fall backwards and into the darkness. Instead of crashing to the hard ground she finds herself in a vast sea sinking. Her bare feet quickly land on the sandy bottom Ichigo looks up searching for the surface. Somehow, deep inside she knows that is where she belongs. Up there, not down in this dark, cold place, but where the light is. Gathering her courage she widens her stance preparing to jump, planting her feet firm and curling her fingers into fists. The ocean shifts, and the watery sky surrounding her begins to churn with a storm. Her storm. Fearlessly determined, her feet lift from the sandy bottom, her last breath pleading in her chest to escape.

She crashes through the surface, the lightening flashing around her. The wave of water upturned in her wake turns to glass startling her to her bones. Utter silence. Looking behind her, a round sphere of crystal comes glints drawing her attention. There... is what she needs. The memories she once abandoned are now collected and seeking her. "I have to know." she says fearlessly reaching out to touch the smooth surface.

~/~

"_What about Nii-sama?"_

"_Byakuya?" Ichigo arches her neck to look over her shoulder at the broad shoulder Captain as he is strolling past the small patch of orange trees. _

"_Nii-sama is a fine catch!" Rukia replies watching the blush creep up on her friends cheeks. Ah, it's as she thought. "You like him! Oh my god! You like Nii-sama!"_

"_SSSShut up!" Wrapping a hand around Rukia's mouth she shoves her to the blanket. "We've been spending time together lately and..."_

"_What?" Rukia mumbles wide-eyed and brimming with excitement. "Oh my god say it or I will hit you!"_

"_Well.. Byakuya has a Tell, and I know I shouldn't-"_

"_Tell what?" Now completely confused, she bolts upright and grabs Ichigo by the shoulders. "What does that mean! What is Nii-sama saying too you?!"_

"_I-It- Stop shaking me damn it!" Ichigo pushes Rukia off her, turning her eyes back to Byakuya. "It's a face you make in poker when you have an excellent hand?! It's just something my mom told me once."_

"_Masaki-dono?" she says growing suddenly still at the mention of Ichigo's mother. It makes a softness in her heart ache a bit. Ichigo doesn't talk about her mother much, but when she does it's always something important to listen too._

"_I asked Mom how she knew Dad loved her." Ichigo lifts a finger up in the air recalling her Mother's exact reply. "When a man loves you, Ichigo... he will have a Tell. Like he is looking at the best thing he has ever seen in his life and can't possibly hide it from anyone."_

"_Yes, I see. Masaki-dono was very wise." Rukia nods her head in agreement. "Oh! I want to see Nii-sama's Tell! " she turns her head with a devilish look on her face. "I bet it's sexy... Hehehe! It is isn't it?"_

"_R-Rukia!"Ichigo clamps her hands over her crimson face."Sh-Shut up!"_

"_Oh! You have a Tell too!"_

"_I-I'm going back to my division now." Rising from the blanket she grabs her haori and waves goodbye to Rukia. Darting through the buildings she is preoccupied with the thought of being loved by someone and loving them back that she doesn't sense the figure coming up from behind her until it's too late._

"_And what were you talking so happily about?"_

_Her shoulders lower a bit and Ichigo turns to find Byakuya looming above her with a smirk on his face. "I'll never Tell. Haha! I made a joke."_

_Blink... No he doesn't get the joke but her skin is filled with this beautiful peachy color making him want to reach out and touch it. When you are wide awake you can't dream. He wants to dream again... more than anything. But wanting things isn't good for a man in his position. "Where are you off too so quickly?"_

"_I was going to the division to get some paperwork done." her fingers grip the sides of her haori nervously. The look is there in his eyes, and he is thinking. "Is there something you want from me?" she says with a hint of hope in her voice. "Anything at all?"_

"_No." he says cooly, ready to turn away and walk in the opposite direction from her. Dreams are dangerous tempting things. If only he could shut his eyes and fall into someone's dream. "But, why don't you come by on Friday for dinner. I'm sure Rukia would enjoy the company."_

"_And you?" she gives him a small smile with a bit of hope in her chest. "Would you enjoy my company on Friday?"_

"_I..." Hesitation is on the tip of his tongue, pressing at the sound escaping his throat. "I would not be displeased to spend an evening with you." he finally admits, tilting his head to the side to give her a sideways glance. To dream means you hope for a better future, such ridiculous sentiment isn't for a prince of the Kuchiki family. Forsaking his own dreams is perfectly acceptable. He can't allow himself the luxury of a dream... but maybe he can watch hers... just for a little while."I... am looking forward to it."_

"_Good." Ichigo walks away first, her footfalls light and rustling at the dirt under her sandals. Soon as she turns the corner she lifts her hands up in the air. "Yes! Byakuya likes m-"_

"_Congratulations..."_

"_Thank-" Her lips part from the fierce pain streaking through her chest. Her vision blurs, her pulse racing as a tall shadow eclipses her. Shaking in pain her fingers slide over the long silver sword slicing into her. "W-Why?"_

"_Everyone asks why." Tsukishima says letting her body drop to the ground. "I guess you wouldn't be any different."_

"_You are dead!" Wrenching heat slips from the sword radiating into her body. "You bas-"_

"_Ho~? Is that anyway to talk to your new boyfriend?"_

_~/~_

Just over Ichigo's shoulder the morning birds are chirping their first tune with the sunrise. Winter is breaking and soon the first hints of spring will blossom up fragrant sighs of color over the manor's vast nooks and crannies between the buildings. Laying on a futon in front of her, Byakuya rests peacefully. It's been three days since the events in the sealed room and Ichigo is growing more and more anxious.

"Captain Unohana says that if you don't wake up today... that you might not wake up for y-years." she tells him struggling to keep her voice free from breaking. "So... it's a good day to do that, Byakuya. Please try to wake up."

A light rap at the door draws her attention. Rising from her knees she turns slowly to slide open the door. "Yes?"

"Ichigo-sama, I must insist you eat and rest today." The butler says giving the young lady a concerned tilt of his head. Weaker... Ichigo-sama looks very pale today.

"Touji-san, I'm not leaving him."

"Come now..." he holds out a hand to the exhausted woman who can barely stand on her own. It's her extreme will forcing her to remain awake these past three days. "Byakuya-sama will be displeased if you do not eat. I will be scolded." Distraction works best with these two. They seem to adore each other in equal overflowing devotion.

"Alright Touji-san. I will be right there." Returning to Byakuya's side she leans over him and kisses his smooth warm lips. The small touch stirs a tiny place in her heart. "It's terrifying, Byakuya." she says listening to the trickle of melting snow and ice outside. Soon the frozen waters of the pond his room is built near with begin to wake from it's winter slumber. Like her own beating heart, the water wants to ripple and flow with life. This is just a small portion of what he must have went through watching her for all those years. "Wake up!" Ichigo exclaims curling her body toward his chest and gripping the white and gold decorative cover wrapped around his body. "Listen to me! You have to wake up! I'm not you, Byakuya. I can't- won't..." The words seem to wrap around her throat constricting, tearing a path of pain in her heart. Hot tears spill to the soft fabric leaving wet spots, and draining what energy she has left. Surrendering to the comfort of his chest, she settles down next to him and drifts to sleep.

"Ichigo..."

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><p>Hey all! So we have some major plot development here. Hope you like it! HUGS Fuzzi<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Antebellum**_

_**Time usually encroaches from behind  
>Raising a howl as it flows and ebbs away<br>Give up  
>As time seems to wash away your exquisite past<br>And tears away your fangs  
>Do not look forward<br>Your hope encroaches from behind  
>There is nothing but darkness in the muddy stream.<br>Ginjo Vol 50 By Tite Kubo **_

"Why do you have this annoying need to save everyone, Captain Kurosaki?"

Carefully considering the reply her eyes flick to the faint hint of the moon rising up over the treeline. The forest is quiet and all the men Ichigo is responsible for have returned to her division. Everyone is gone but for this man next to her with careless black hair and unusual grief stricken eyes. "Do you have family Tsukishima?" Ichigo asks curling her legs up to her chest and setting her chin to her knees in deep thought.

"I do not." he replies walking over to stand just behind the woman who has no right to ask him anything about family. The only family he had was ripped away by this ignorant woman so trustingly showing her back to him. Ginjo... why did you think she would understand you? Setting a hand on his hip his fingertips stroke the cool metal of his sword. Any moment now he will finally be able to rid himself of this woman. This revenge is especially poetic seeing as he plans to cut out her heart and leave it on a grave that she herself helped dig. There the bleeding trophy will be the perfect offering to Ginjo.

"I had a mother, her name was Masaki." Ichigo speaks softly almost in reverence of just saying her mother's name. "I made a stupid mistake and she died protecting me. I guess I'm trying to make the life she saved mean something."

Touching story... but really Tsukishima doesn't care. Right now her back is too him and her sword is setting on a nearby log. Defenseless idiot. Stuffing a hand into his pocket he pulls out the small bookmark that turns into his full-bring blade. This tiny thing won't kill her, but the 'shinigami' blade given to him on his hip will. Clenching the bookmark between his teeth he tightens his fingers silently around the hilt of the real sword ready raise it high above her head. That is when he sense another person walking out of the treeline. "Captain Kuchiki." he mutters under his breath cursing his bad luck. Of all the captains to appear it would be this one. The one who is most observant. "I'm going to sweep the north grid. Excuse me." Vanishing before Ichigo can argue Tsukishima darts through the woods and leaves the zanpakuto on a tree. Turning on his heel he doubles back and watches both captain's sitting on a large fallen tree trunk.

"Rukia told me I would find you here."

"Yeah... I'm looking for a hollow that is decapitating lower ranked shinigami." Ichigo stares into the crackling fire looking for glowing embers that have crumbled away from the log in the center. "What brings you out here Byakuya?"

"I... I... This is difficult."

Never hearing Byakuya fall over his words before draws her attention back to his face. "Just say it." Ichigo reaches out a hand to pat him on the shoulder however Byakuya takes her hand and holds it to his chest. The faint but strong drumming of his heart makes her eyes widen and lock on his. "Byakuya?"

"I keep thinking about you." he finally says in an exasperated breath. "Pondering on the many times you have swept through the manor and my mind wrecking havoc on everything in my life I've come to a conclusion."

"W-What is that?" Ichigo is kind of confused. Some of what he said was nice, and some of it makes her feel like a human tornado.

"I am impossibly attracted to you and I wish to earnestly pursue you... romanticly." This might be the hardest damn thing he has ever done in his life. Admitting to being in love with her just might kill Byakuya Kuchiki. "Tell me at once your feelings on this." he adds for good measure unable to keep himself from becoming impatient.

"Wow... You are giving off this whole Mr. Darcy vibe right now."

"Who is this Darcy? Are you in love with him?"

"N-No!" Ichigo hops up from the tree trunk and turns her back on him to hide the huge gaping of her mouth. Did he just say that he likes her? It sounded like it. The words were a bit strained but there was a definite vibe. Clearing her throat she tries to explain Pride and Prejudice to Byakuya."He is this snobby rich guy in a novel Rukia forced me to read. The entire time I read it I was reminded of you."

Byakuya's eye twitches as his head shakes. "Maybe I should go."

"No don't!" Ichigo whirls around her sandal catches on a stone and she trips directly into his lap. "Oh god!" This never happened to Lizzie. That book SUCKS! "I am so sorry!" With her arms flailing she is suddenly lifted up in the air and pulled against a broad chest. Now face to face with him she tilts her eyes to meet his. "I-I've been attracted to you since I was fifteen..." she says with her cheeks filling with heat. "You were... my first crush."

"At first sight?"

"Well, it was after we.. you know tried to kill each other." GAH! That wasn't a cool thing to say. Clamping her eyes shut she tries to think of something clever, but being witty around a guy is totally lost on Ichigo. "Damn it you're make me nervous!" A fingertip presses to her lips making her eyes go round. Thank god for that. She is turning into a total mess. Leaving the talking to him might be for the best. Exhaling a sigh she slowly regains her dignity and the finger on her lips slides away.

"I am going to kiss you."

"You can't just announce it! I don't know how to reac-" It's too late, Byakuya has already made his move. Lips seal against hers instantly setting her body on fire. Fierce passion wells up unexpectedly in Byakuya and his hands slide into her shoulder length locks. Her mouth opens to his, hoping for more and he eagerly deepens the kiss by sinking his lips into hers.

All Byakuya can smell is her scent, taste her lips, and feel is her hands touching his cheeks. Everything around him falls away in her presence.

Like a thief stealing away a precious gem the shadow strikes silently in the night. Tsukishima's blade cuts through both Ichigo and Byakuya's shoulders with lightening fast accuracy. And just as a thief would he steals away the most valuable thing he can from the woman who killed the only father he ever had... her love for Byakuya... _"But for you Kuchiki... Only your memories will alter. Watch and envy as I take the thing you want most in the world."_

Stepping back into the treeline Tsukishima watches the pair of love birds slowly begin to wake up from the effect of his full-bring. His own blood is boiling from seeing them almost kiss. It's the third time he has had to break them apart with his technique in no less than a year. These two people are inexplicably drawn to each other over and over despite the distance he gives them. It isn't true love, that is bull shit. True love only happens in fairy tales. "I won't let you have her Kuchiki. Ever! She is mi-" he whispers the words catching in his throat from the painful realization streaking through his chest. "I... love her."

_**"Let's count together... for me  
>The bite marks<br>That I left on you" Tsukishima, Vol 52, Tite Kubo**_

_**Chapter 19; The Well within her Soul.**_

"Ichigo... Ichigo..."

"Go away." The persistent voice seems intent on waking Ichigo from a much needed very sound sleep.

"Ichigo wake up."

"Fine..." Opening her eyes the blurry image of an empty futon makes her heart sink into her stomach. "W-Where is he! Oh god... Where is Byakuya!" Terror and pain fill her veins. Turning around she starts to dart out of the room only to bump into a chest. Knocked off completely off her feet she tumbles to the futon. Only then does her eyes look up to find a tall dark haired man reaching out for her hand.

"I am sorry I disturbed you, but there are a few pressing-"

"I-I thought-" Words choke in her throat and relief washes over her. Flinging herself against Byakuya's torso she sobs into his haori like a child. "Y-You aren't allowed to die!"

"I did not die." Byakuya says calmly his palm reaching out to tenderly slide into her hair.

"Or be sick!" she adds trying to stuff her heart back into her chest.

"I am not sick."

"And you can't..." The happiness that he is alright freezes her thoughts. "I-I have more rules for you but I will save them for later!"

"You do that." Byakuya replies unable to keep himself away from her another moment. Bending down his mouth seeks hers crushing hungrily over sweet trembling lips.

"Mmph!" The sudden sound of her surprise drifts away effectively replaced by enveloping strong lips. Clamping her eyes shut she melts from the firm, skin prickling kiss. The tip of his tongue slips at her sensitive bottom lip tracing a wet trail that steals her breath away. Tugging the towering man to his knees she slides her arms around his broad chest._"__Oh I want him... I want him more than anything."_

Gentle fingertips slip past the material of his yukata anxiously caressing the base of Byakuya's neck. He kisses her deeper not daring to break away for fear of her being ripped from his arms by some other man. The yukata is pulled until even his shoulders are bare, the cool morning air rushes over his warm skin. _"__It's time then." _The space between them becomes nonexistent with his arms reaching out and wrapping around her waist and he fully intends to keep it that way. Byakuya can finally touch her as much as he pleases. Her lips leave his mouth and travel along his strong jaw then dip lower to nipping seductively at his collarbone. Exhaling a strangled moan he slides his hands into her long orange locks enjoying the feel of the silky strands between his fingers. "Ohh, I love your hair. I love you." Byakuya´s words end in a hiss from the damp lips wrapping around his nipple and a warm moist tongue flicking against its sensitive peak. The passion rolls inside him forcing him to seek those tempestuous lips again.

With their lips sealed together they lower to the futon. Soon as her back touches the sheets her yukata is feverishly parted and Byakuya's mouth travels spreading a trail of kisses and leaving chills in their wake. "Byakuya, I love you." she says, with her heart pounding out a strong beat from his hungry open mouthed kisses wandering the valley between her breasts.

"And I love you." Byakuya replies so overwhelmed with her confession he pulls her up against his chest again to hold her close. "I'm so afraid... he might take you away again." he whispers his voice cracking with emotion. "I can't lose you anymore."

"You won't." she tells him, smoothing her palms down his back pulling the yukata clinging to his elbows the rest of the way off. "We are together. Nothing is going to change that." Moving her hands quickly at the knot in her belt it's untied and dropped to the floor with her yukata following. "Touch me?" she asks titling her head in a moment of shyness. Being naked with this man makes her insecure about her body. Instantly both his hands gently cup her breasts lightly squeezing, lifting, his fingertips nudge at her nipples. Biting at her lip she watches his passion filled eyes move over her body. Those deep blue eyes she loves glide over her face, to her neck and down to the place below her waist. A hot palm traces the path of his gaze ever so lightly drawing a hot invisible line from her neck down to the simple white panties she is wearing. _"__Oh hell I should have worn something sexier. He going to think I'm boring-" _His finger slips under the thin material. The light touches break away her thoughts and make her lips open in a quiet sigh.

With his eyes glued to her face he watches her expression shift deeper and deep into bliss as he slips his two longest fingers up and down. He brings her gently, slowly, and carefully towards arousal savoring the feel of being the one allowed to do this. Slipping inside her entrance he listens to her gulping for air. "You are too quiet, Ichigo. Let me hear you." Byakuya whispers in her ear then slides his mouth down to nuzzle and kiss at the tender flesh of her neck.

Unable to stay calm any longer she sucks in a deep breath as his drenched fingers glide in and out of her wet heat, his thumb finding her clit to nudge. "Oh!" her voice finally breaks it's silence her body strumming with delight. "Ohh." Again she moans from those small steady strokes. It builds and builds with each tender caress until she is ready to break. "AH!" Her hips move on their own rubbing against his slick fingers to feel more. With her body tightening up as her first climax ripples it's way through her she clings to his shoulders and surrenders to the pulses working through her.

Sucking at her neck he enjoys the rise of her voice. The pleading sound stirs him up and shatters his patience at the same time. That lilting desperation makes him so hard it hurts to not push her down and drive right into her. _"F_eel more, Ichigo." he moans into her neck pushing her just a little more to the edge.

"Ah-Ah!" The climax grows until she can't stop herself from wrapping her arms around him and cling to him. "Yes! Oh! Please!" she cries out then goes limp against his warm chest. Still disoriented she barely senses being tugged onto his lap and her legs guided around his waist. Desperately trying to catch her breath his cock presses at her entrance. More than ready, her hips tilt lightly and her body slowly lowers enveloping his considerable length.

Byakuya watches her eyes flutter close her chest brighten with a rosy blush as he slides inside her tight body. "Ohhh, the warmth." he groans feeling her drawing him deeper as he lifts his hips pushing deeper into her core. Wet, heat... just like her skin so soft and welcoming to him surrounds him. It's unbelievable, he is finally making love to the woman he loves. Filled with desire he quickly whirls her around to lay under him. Their bodies stay tightly coiled skin again skin. Those plump breasts are perfect cushions under his chest and her long legs wrap around his waist sealing them together.

Reaching out a hand she lifts his long bangs away from his face tucking a thick black lock behind his ear. The gaze in his eyes is powerful and his weight is almost crushing, but Ichigo is anxious. She lifts her hips making it clear what she wants him. Instantly she is rewarded as his strong hips begin to move, the filled spaces of her body coming alive with each smooth nudge.

Byakuya pushes against her pliant body claiming her mouth just as the first long moan drifts from her gaping lips. Each tiny tremble she makes echoes back to him. His hips begin a tempestuous rhythm moving faster, deeper and stronger. He can't escape need to feel that heat heat shaking around him. The air between them fills with heat and sweat as she lifts up to meet his hips. Faster... just a bit faster he thrusts loving the sounds of her voice pleading for more. "You... look beautiful." he manages to whisper keeping his dark gaze on her bouncing breasts and peach skin.

"Don't stop!" Her fingers griping at his shoulders slide down to the small of his back before limply dropping at her sides. It feels too good to move she couldn't anyway his thrusts are demandingly pressing her into the futon. His hands circle her waist tugging her against him, the desperation to scream hollows in her chest as the smacking sound of their bodies fill the air.

Unable to hold back anymore from the fire in his blood tickling a hot path down his spine, his palms suddenly move from her hips to fist in the sheets of his bed. Leaning his head down he captures her mouth is one final breath taking kiss before his hips hitch once, twice, and finally a third powerful time.

"OH!" Every inch that connects them comes alive, with his throbbing release. With her vision blurring, she widens her eyes sensing him spilling into her for the first time. "I love you." she blurts out with a smile, her face hot and beaming with happiness. However his face is so serious it almost makes her concerned if not for the slow curl on the corner of his mouth. "Byakuya?"

"Marry me."

"W-Was it that good?"

~/~

"That miserable bastard betrayed us!" The cracking of glass and pottery crunching underfoot draws the figure from the shadows.

"Shall I take care of Tsukishima, Master?"

"At once! There are two things I hate the most; being made fun of and betrayal. How dare he turn on me for that bitch!" Wrapping his hand around the girls throat he yanks her from her feet. "After all I did for him he choose her! HER!"

"I-I will prepare something special as a punishment."

* * *

><p>I love you all! Please forgive me for not updating it sooner. The fun is just beginning! please stay with me! Love Fuzzi<p> 


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